Kazakh Scary Tales, on Klassiki

Which would be harder for an honest cop to deal with, Kantas’s corrupt provincial government, or the infant-devouring Albasty, who is sort of like the Kazakh equivalent of La Llorona? The question is almost academic to Birzhan, because he must contend with both. Frankly, his honesty is debatable, but he is still more justice-minded than his new colleagues in director-screenwriter Adilkhan Yerzhanov’s Kazakh Scary Tales, which premieres tomorrow on Klassiki.

Birzhan was just transferred to Kantas—and he is keenly aware it was not meant as a promotion. Evidently, Birzhan previously made waves by trying to prosecute criminals. His new boss just wants his officers to close cases, not solve them. However, the shocking circumstances of Birzhan’s first case are hard to ignore.

Apparently, several mothers and their infants were murdered in a spectacularly gory manner at the local maternity hospital, overseen by Birzhan’s namesake. Everybody wants to rubber stamp the incident as some sort of misadventure, but these things don’t just happen. When Birzhan discovers the grotesque graveyard for stillborn and aborted babies on the fringes of hospital grounds, the inspector really digs in.

Since his fellow cops will not help, Birzhan assembles a not entirely voluntary kitchen cabinet, consisting of Sara, a dodgy fortune-teller with genuine but unreliable psychic powers of touch, and Ulmes, the local foul-mouthed pathologist. The truth is pretty horrifying and it might just consume Birzhan, in more ways than one.

Evidently, Kazakh Scary Tales was originally conceived and released as a streaming series, but it was re-edited into a feature for the international market. Frankly, aside from one long flashback detour, the resulting film rarely feels episodic. In fact, it builds nicely towards its legitimately dramatic climax.

Granted, when the audience finally sees the Albasty, it isn’t exactly believable, but the over-the-top insanity of its appearance still definitely counts for something. However, most of the film is distinguished by its quietly eerie atmosphere.

Yet, the real revelation is the film’s humor. As Birzhan and Ulmes, Kuantay Abdimadi and Shah Murat Ordabayev trade more caustic barbs than Deadpool and his arms-dealer crony Weasel. Frankly, some of their decidedly “insensitive” banter might even offend your fondly-remembered basic training drill sergeant.

Kazakh Scary Tales is a film that comes without warning, straight out of left field (technically, the eastern steppe, but close enough). It is not truly a comedy, but it ranks as the funniest horror film in years, just behind Ghost in the Cell. It is also consistently unnerving. Very highly recommended, Kazakh Scary Tales starts streaming tomorrow (10/29) on Klassiki.