Fender Bender: Accidents Will Happen

In horror movies, punishment is often outrageously disproportionate to the crime. For instance, in this New Mexico town, failure to properly report an accident can get you hacked to pieces. He is not a Progressive agent, he is a serial killer who perversely exploits the expected information exchange following minor accidents. When he rear-ends someone, the whiplash is pretty severe in Mark Pavia’s Fender Bender (trailer here), which premieres on Chiller this Friday.

The hits just keep coming for Hillary this fateful day. First she learns her jerky jock boyfriend Andy is two-timing her, then she has a minor fender-bender that is absolutely not her fault, but still causes her parents to leave her home alone on the weekend of a long planned family outing—to teach her responsibility. Lets go back to the second bummer of her day. This is not an innocent accident. It is “The Driver’s” M.O.

Assuring the flustered teen it was all his fault and they need not involve the authorities, the Driver initiates the ritual trading of phone numbers and insurance information. He also includes a street address, which seems wholly unnecessary, but his stressed-out victims inevitably follow suit. At least Hillary has the presence of mind to snap some photos with her smart phone, giving the Driver additional business to take care of when he comes round in the evening. However, he will not catch her alone. To further complicate matters, Hillary’s besties Rachel and Erik have come over to eat pizza and dis on Andy.

Seriously, Hillary’s parents ought to be tried as accessories. They have criminally bad timing and appear constitutionally incapable of being helpful. Hillary really doesn’t have crackerjack “final girl” instincts either. It is like she is constantly begging the Driver to pop up on his feet again and re-commence terrorizing her. Most Likely to Die looks like a minor genre masterpiece in comparison, because its characters do exactly what we would like to think we would do if we found ourselves in a 1980s style slasher film.

It is a shame because Makenzie Vega plays second act Hillary with some appealing gumption. Bill Sage’s performance as the Driver is also nearly as creepy as his “bring out the Gimp” fetish wardrobe. There is something very unsettling about Pavia’s premise, sadistically exploiting the behavior norms of a minor traffic accident. Yet, the predictably familiar ending pays off nothing, leaving us to wonder why exactly Pavia wanted to take us to this place.

Considering Pavia’s previous film was the 1997 cult favorite The Night Flier (featuring Miguel Ferrer in fine caustic form), he cannot be accused of grinding out cookie-cutter films. While Fender Bender had the potential to really unleash viewer paranoia, Pavia’s unremarkable execution minimizes its traction. Entirely intended for throwback slasher fans, the ultimately disappointing Fender Bender airs this Friday (6/3) on Chiller.

Dead Souls: A Birthday Surprise

An unexpected bequest is always a dramatically mixed blessing in horror films.  Take Johnny Petrie, for instance.  On his eighteenth birthday, he learns he is adopted and has inherited the farmhouse where his birth father killed the rest of his original family.  Returning to claim his legacy, Petrie will be forced to deal with some supernatural family business in Colin Theys’ Dead Souls (trailer here), the Chiller original film based on the novel by Michael Laimo, which premieres this Friday night.

One dark and stormy night, the infant Petrie’s preacher father up and killed his family in a bizarre ritual, but not before his big brother safely hid him away.  Eighteen years later, give or take, Petrie is living in New York with his super-Christian, hyper-protective, hypochondriac aunt, whom he believes to be his real mother.  Oh, but not so, as he learns from the lawyer handling his parents’ estate, upon reaching his majority.  When his presumed mother is once again admitted to the hospital, Petrie is able to sneak up north to take possession.

Strangely, once the prodigal son arrives, a pack of locals tries to strong-arm him back to the City.  His estate attorney is also eager to facilitate a lucrative potential sale ASAP and be rid of him, but Petrie wants to look around, soaking up his roots.  Before long, he comes across Emma, a squatter, which is exciting for him, because she’s a girl.  Unfortunately, they are not alone.  The spookiness starts coming fast and furious, possibly involving the sacramental killing of his family.  It seems the ritual was not completed.  Our first clue would be the fact that Petrie is still alive.

Theys has a good grasp on the three classical unities as they apply to horror movies.  The creaky old barn and farmhouse are quite ominous looking (with credit also due to Paul Pribble and Jeanette Drake’s design teams), giving the film a genuine sense of place.  Indeed, Souls is surprisingly distinctive visually, but the story itself is rather workaday genre stuff.  The evil psychotic clergyman is also a decidedly tired cliché, though one could argue his cult does not really qualify as Christian, per se.

On the plus side of the ledger, the cast-members are all professional grade.  Jesse James is sufficiently moody and confused as Petrie, but horror fans will be more interested in the supporting cast, particularly cult favorite Bill Moseley (of Devil’s Rejects and House of 1,000 Corpses infamy), who lends grizzled credibility to the third act as former Sheriff Depford.  Jaiden Kaine also brings some energy to the proceedings as Andrew Judson, the dodgy lawyer (is there any other kind?).

The mechanics of Souls are fairly strong and it boasts some colorful, fan-pleasing supporting turns.  There are eerie moments, particularly by television standards, but it always clear what general direction it is headed.  For horrors fans who value atmosphere over story, Dead Souls should still work well enough.  It airs this Friday night (10/12) on Chiller TV.

Ghoul: Airing Friday the 13th

This small town carries of load of bad karma. It all started with the cave-in at the now defunct mine, but it also has a great deal of closed door angst to contend with, as well as a local bogeyman. Three pre-teens discover the truth behind a related series of mysterious abductions in Gregory Wilson’s Ghoul (promo here), an original adaptation of Brian Keene’s novel produced by Modernciné, which airs on the Chiller TV network this Friday the thirteenth.

Timmy Graco is the most fortunate of the trio of friends. His dad is a bit of a hardcase about his chores, but that is it. It is pretty obvious Barry Smeltzer’s father beats him like a rented mule. Doug Keiser’s problems will be revealed later in the film, but it is safe to say his father’s absence troubles him greatly. When they can evade their parents, they hang in their subterranean club house in the cemetery where Smeltzer’s father works as the drunken caretaker.

The first death in Ghoul is from natural causes: Graco’s beloved grandfather. However, many more people start disappearing under mysterious circumstances around the cemetery. Yet, that does not dissuade the three boys from wanting to explore the tunnel they accidentally discover in the cemetery service shed, but fate conspires to send other clueless victims in first.

Throughout the film, Graco consults his faux-E.C. Comics as a model of how to deal with the uncanny. Essentially, this means Ghoul start out promising to be Creepshow but evolves into a sinister variation on the Goonies. Probably shot on a budget under $500, the tunnel scenes actually look decently ominous. It is also cool to see Catherine Mary Stewart (star of Night of the Comet, the greatest George Romero rip-off ever), even if as Graco’s mother she only gets lines like “come to dinner” or “it’s time for bed.” However, to put it diplomatically, viewers will probably not be taking down most of the young cast-members names for future reference.

Despite the limitations of ensemble and effects, Wilson successfully conveys a sense of the past’s evil influence on the present and a general lurking dread. Viewers get an impression of what readers probably responded to in Keene’s novel and why Wilson and the Modernciné team wanted to film it. It is also worth noting the town pastor is not an immoral hypocrite, which is quite the welcome departure from traditional horror movie clichés. Though admittedly flawed, the evocative atmosphere and vibe of Ghoul is still worth checking out on television, especially on Friday the thirteenth. After a special buzz-generating screening at this year’s Slamdance Film Festival in Park City, Ghoul premieres this Friday on Chiller TV.