Going
from Boston to New Hampshire is probably always a good idea, but especially so
when there is a zombie apocalypse underway. Whether or not so-called “phoners,”
who were turned into rage-filled hive-mind killing machines by a sinister cell
phone transmission, count as proper zombies hardly matters. The same rules
apply: regions with low population density and a high degree of gun ownership
offer the best survival prospects. However, finding his son will take priority
for Clay Riddell in Tod “Kip” Williams’ adaptation of Stephen King’s Cell (trailer here), which opens this
Friday in New York.
Just
as Riddell deplanes in Boston, all heck breaks loose. His battery is conveniently
dead, or else the mysterious pulse would have transformed him into a murderous berserker
as well. Not surprisingly, the airport turns into a horror show, but he is able
to make a subterranean getaway with Tom McCourt, a transit employee with
military training and few social ties. Lying low for the night, they join
forces with Riddell’s teenaged neighbor Alice Maxwell and head towards New
Hampshire.
Along
the way, they liberate a stash of guns and observe the phoners flock-like
behavior. They get a further lesson in phoner behavioral psychology from a prep
school scholarship student and his headmaster. Apparently, phoners reboot or install
their Microsoft updates overnight, leaving them nocturnally vulnerable. However,
phoners will continue to evolve, as the hardy band of survivors learns the hard
way. Even more ominously, the sinister leader of the phoners makes regular
appearances in their nightmares. It is particularly distressing for Riddell,
because he is the spitting image of the Mephistophelean character in his prospective
graphic novel.
In
a way, Cell sort of resembles a light
version of The Stand, as it follows
the core group making its way through apocalyptic chaos, towards the ultimate
destination of Kashwak, a rumored Native American dead-cell zone—but with
zombies. Of course, The Stand is
probably the one King novel that could really use an editorial diet. Fans still
pay premium prices online to buy the original published version his editor had
duly tightened, preferring its pacey focus to the bloated “author’s definitive
edition” now available.
Be
that as it may, Cell is not the
greatest King film to hit screens (regardless how the author feels, that would
still probably be Kubrick’s The Shining),
but it has its virtues. To his credit, Williams has the good sense to fully
capitalize on Samuel L. Jackson’s screen persona. Although his character is
relatively subdued by his standards, there are plenty of scenes involving
McCourt, firearms, and attitude. The phoners are also all kinds of creepy. They
are definitely fast zombies, or whatever. Even though Clay Riddell is
technically the lead, he is a pretty conventional stock character, but that
also means John Cusack’s blandness is rather fitting. On the other hand, Stacy
Keach adds some welcome panache as the headmaster.