DWF ’19: The Great Record Hunt (Pilot)

LP collectors know way more about music than downloaders. That is because in most record stores, “new arrivals” is its own section, but it usually isn’t broken down by category. When you flip through, you inevitably pick up on things outside your original field of interest. Record stores are still around and many of them are busier than ever. Host and co-director Ethan H. Minsker takes viewers to many of them in his musical-collectible travel show, The Great Record Hunt, which screens as part of the pilot section during this year’s Dances With Films.

Rather conveniently, the pilot starts in New York City, where Minsker gives viewers the impression LP sales and merchandising is almost entirely about rock and its cousins. Granted, Footlights, the venerable sound track and cast album specialist, closed years ago, but New York is still blessed with many specialty records stores that would add very different flavors to the show’s mix.

Fred Cohen’s Jazz Record Center is a glaring omission, especially considering its idiosyncratic location in a Flower District office building that looks like it could also host Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe as tenants. For jazz collectors, the full-service Academy LPs is also a prime go-to, but they are only mentioned in passing by an indie label-owner, who used to work out of their basement.

Of course, nobody begrudges the time devoted to Generations and the Brooklyn Flea, but there is considerably more to New York record-collecting eco-system. As a host, Minsker is enthusiastic, but his fannishness starts to wear a little thin. The pilot also features a performance by Baby Shakes, who are telegenic, but it would be nice if artists from other genres get features spots in subsequent episodes.

To some extent, the pilot serves as a primer on record-collecting for the poor turntable-less out there. If you need to be convinced this is thing than you’re not as hip as you think. However, New Yorkers will get a much-needed lesson in supply-and-demand that could help their economic literacy. When supply is high, it drives down the price. That is why you won’t get much trade-in for your grandparents’ Sinatra records, which still have tons of copies floating around out there. The concept for Great Record Hunt is terrific, but it needs more character and rootsier, bluesier seasoning. Maybe they should have started in New Orleans instead. There is still potential, but real record collectors will be a little bored by The Great Record Hunt pilot, when it screens tomorrow (6/22) as part of TV Block 3, at Dances With Films.

DWF ’19: Celebrity Crush

Jonathan Blakely is no Linda Blair. After appearing as a child actor in the cult 1980’s slasher Chain Face Clown, he managed to land a few acting jobs, but his adulthood career never amounted to much. Nevertheless, his biggest fan, Emily Lynessa still developed a creepy fixation on him. She will act on her psychotic obsession when Blakely makes a convention appearance in Oliver Robins’ Celebrity Crush, which screens during this year’s Dances With Films, in Hollywood, USA.

By casting himself as Blakely, Robins automatically adds a layer of meta-notoriety to the film, since he appeared as young Robbie Freeling in Poltergeist I and II (but he didn’t get to make the trip to Chicago in Poltergeist III). Frankly, most fans probably better remember the late Heather O’Rourke as Carol Anne, but Robins was there too. In Crush, Blakely’s feelings about Chain Face are rather complex. There is bad blood between him and the producers (or maybe they are the rights holders, since they all look like they are about the same age), but he has just started cashing in on the lucrative convention circuit.

Blakely’s old co-star Peter Norvis was supposed to guide him through the gig, but he will become Lynessa’s first victim instead. Technically, she has no desire to hurt Blakely (whereas Norvis, not so much). The deranged fan just wants to live happily ever after with Blakely, so she is willing to drug him and hold him in captivity. Wisely, she does this in Florida, the home state of Scientology, where such things happen all the time.

It is impossible to escape the long shadow Misery casts over Crush, especially since the Stephen King adaptation is a superior film in every possible way. Frankly, Crush just looks cheap and many of its performances are rather awkward, to put it diplomatically. Admittedly, Robins and company are intentionally going for a grubby, lo-fi look and texture, but this film hardly passes for professional grade.

Arguably, the best part about Crush is the way Robins intercuts footage of Chain Face Clown throughout the film, at particularly fateful or intense moments. Ironically, these scenes are visually more intriguing and scarier than the actual narrative involving Blakely and Lynessa.

Robins is not bad as his analog and Melissa McNerney is pretty good as Blakely’s long-suffering fiancée. Admittedly, Jake T. Getman is also well-cast as the young Blakely in the film-within-the-film, but that is about as far as it goes. Yet, perhaps the greatest problem with the film is its tonal indecisiveness, frozen in a no man’s land between nostalgic shtick and Annie Bates’ hobbling scene. Not recommended, Celebrity Crush screens tomorrow (6/21), as part of Dances With Films.

DWF ’19: The Teacher (short)

This teacher will totally school you. She changed professions relatively recently, but her previous skill set is as sharp as it ever was. Three of her former colleagues will learn that the hard way in Jeremy Weiss’s wildly entertaining short film, The Teacher, which screens during this year’s Dances With Films, in Hollywood, USA.

Just like Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner, the Teacher’s old boss, “The Contractor,” is not inclined to accept her resignation gracefully. Instead of whisking her off to an Adriatic seaside Potemkin Village, the Contractor has two of his best assassins to ambush her on the streets of Qindao. One is a German hulk and the other is refined Japanese ronin. Both men are extremely lethal, but they have still probably met their match. After all, the film is titled The Teacher, not The German or The Swordsman. Regardless, it is relentless fun watching her fend them off.

Even though there are three credited screenwriters, David Carter, Chris J. Ford, and Keith Kuramoto, the narrative is not all that complicated. Of course, the whole point of the film is the adrenaline-charged, pedal-to-the-metal fight scenes, so it is really just as well they refrain from giving us any derivative plot complications that might distract us from the real business at hand. Weiss and stunt coordinator Jaden He (the Swordsman) stage a number of really cool martial arts face-offs.

In a mere fifteen minutes, Sarah Chang (who also did stunt work on Bleeding Steel and Wolf Warrior 2) conclusively proves she has the chops and the presence to be a major international action star. She comes across as rather sweet and vulnerable, but then she counter-attacks like nobody’s business. Plus, Jaden He and Kevin Lee make worthy adversaries, who make the ebb and flow of their fight scenes look convincing.

For a short film, The Teacher is unusually cinematic, especially the use of the aerial cityscape cinematography that evokes fond memories of old school movies, like The Man from Hong Kong. There is a great deal of new talent worth watching in this short, starting with Chang and most definitely including her on-screen rivals. Highly recommended for action fans, The Teacher screens tomorrow (6/16), as part of Competition Shorts 4, at Dances With Films 22.

DWF ’19: Driven

Can you imagine anything more terrifying than getting picked up by a ride-share driver who happens to be an aspiring open-mic-night comedian? Roger the demon-hunter will also have to contend with dark supernatural forces, but his driver’s jokes will be far scarier. Yet, somehow, he and the recently-dumped-and-still-bitter-about-it Emerson Graham will work together to save mankind, sort of, in Glenn Payne’s Driven, which screens during this year’s Dances With Films, in Hollywood, USA.

Graham and her roommate have plumbing issues, so she would like to catch a lot of trips this fateful night, as a driver for the Ferry ride service. Despite his rudeness, Roger would seem like a promising fare. He will be making multiple stops, having her wait while he takes care of his mysterious business. It turns out he is out to kill demons and lift an infernal curse that has plagued his family for years. Graham briefly assumes he is a dangerous psycho, until she sees enough scary demonic shenanigans to convince her otherwise.

Even though Graham is the would-be comic, Roger scores most of the laughs. Frankly, Driven is not exactly a horror-comedy that will have you rolling in the aisles. Yet, weirdly enough, the straight demon-hunting storyline is sufficiently interesting to keep viewers invested. Arguably, the film would have been more effective if Casey Dillard had cranked down Graham’s insecurity-based humor a notch or two, both as screenwriter and co-lead. However, she falls into a nice bickering-and-bantering rhythm with Richard Speight Jr., as Roger. They each play off the other quite well.

At the helm, Payne navigates the horror-comedy line with respectable dexterity. He capitalizes on the claustrophobic setting—mostly Graham’s car—building tension organically. He and Dillard also give viewers a vivid sense of the town, which we come to understand is surprisingly violent, given its modest size. You could almost think of Driven as Locke with demons and bathroom jokes, but that would be overstating matters.

Driven is a small film that doesn’t always land its bits, but it is still a pleasantly enjoyable viewing experience. There is just a scrappy underdog spirit to the proceedings, which is appealing. Plus, it deserves credit for being a horror-comedy that takes the horror side of the equation relatively seriously. Recommended for fans of lighter midnight movies, Driven screens tomorrow night (6/15), as part of Dances With Films.