Monster Island, on Shudder

The original Creature from the Black Lagoon was found in the Brazilian Amazon. That is a long way from a tiny South Pacific island, but the similarly tropical climate would logically be habitable for similar gill-man-like creatures. Based on the fin on its head, the monster in question looks like a creature cousin, but one of the Japanese soldiers recognizes it as a mythical Orang Ikan. Whatever it is, it is hard to kill and the circumstances of WWII do not help much either in director-screenwriter Mike Wiluan’s Monster Island (a.k.a. Orang Ikan), which premieres this Friday on Shudder.

Frankly, things cannot get much worse for Bronson, considering he is an Allied POW aboard a so-called Imperial Japanese “Hell Ship.” The captain decides to execute him for a failed escape attempt, along with Saito, a supposed “traitor.” However, while the officers focus on executions and torture, the U.S. Navy sinks the ship.

Ironically, Saito and Bronson survive, washing up a little speck of an island, chained at the ankles. The first thing they do is fight each other, but the monster coming out of the water convinces them to fight together. Despite the language barrier, they come to an understanding that continues to hold when a group of more violently militant Japanese soldiers reach their island paradise.

Monster island starts with a nifty concept, essentially fusing Creature from the Black Lagoon with Hell in the Pacific, which Wiluan and company execute quite well. It is a tight, tense film filled with peril. The design of the Orang Ikan is several steps up from the vintage Creature, but it looks familiar enough to pay homage.

Dean Fujioka and Callum Woodhouse (a world away from All Creatures Great and Small) are also both terrific as Saito and Bronson. They must convince viewers quickly that their characters can agree to an alliance, which they do, with great success. They also look believably haggard, beat-up, frightened, and generally wrung through the wringer. This is not a buddy-movie, it is an extreme survival film, and both thesps truly act like survivors.

Wiluan’s screenplay is not particularly complex, but it fully explores the implications of the wartime setting. Given the circumstances, this might be the most dangerous island yet, eclipsing Skull Island, because of Saito’s ex-comrades. Very highly recommended, Monster Island starts streaming Friday (7/25) on Shudder.

PG: Psycho Goreman

Consider this your basic heartwarming family pet adoption movie, but instead of a cocker spaniel, young Mimi Hallenbeck brings home a deranged space alien with vast destructive power. However, she is the real monster in screenwriter-director Steven Kostanski’s PG: Psycho Goreman, which releases in theaters and on-demand this Friday.

As luck would have it, the Galactic Templars of planet Gigax (surely a nerd hat-tip to Gary Gygax) consigned the evil “Archduke of Nightmares” to an eternity buried in a hole in the Hallenbeck’s backyard. Being bored, Mimi and her long-suffering slightly older brother Luke accidentally unearth him. Fortunately, Mimi quickly learns she can control him with the cosmic “Gem of Praxidite,” which she is not about to let go of, because she is definitely the sort of girl who knows what’s hers.

Initially, Hallenbeck treats “Psycho Goreman” or “PG” as they rename him, as her exotic pet or her private enforcer. However, she eventually learns the Templars are coming and starts to suspect the angelic overlords might just be even more tyrannical than the gleefully destructive PG.

In a way, PG tries to recapture the innocence of the alien-child bond many fondly remember from vintage Ultraman and the like, but with loads more gore. Both Kostanski and Adam Brooks, who plays the slacker Hallenbeck father are associated with the Astron-6 film collective, so it rather follows that PG shares their genre aesthetic.

Kostanski and company definitely take no prisoners, but that is what makes the film so entertaining. It is often tasteless and at times it flirts with outright blasphemy, but if you get offended by a film like this you really are an idiot. The whole point of watching is to see how much further over-the-top they can go.

Love and Monsters, on DVD

It turns out classic Toho monster movies did not go far enough. It wasn’t just some stray turtle getting radiated into a mutant monster. It happens to every cold-blooded creature. The worst of it for luckless loser Joel Dawson is that it happens just as he was getting somewhere with his pretty girlfriend. Giant mutants now rule the surface of the Earth, but he is still determined to find her in Michael Matthews’ Love and Monsters, which releases today on DVD.

Much to Dawson’s regret, he was separated from his girlfriend Aimee in the confusion of the apocalypse and both lost their parents during the ensuing carnage. After seven long years underground, Dawson (like the Creek) has finally made radio contact with her in a shelter 85 miles away. He cares about all his shelter-mates, but since he is the only one not paired romantically, he figures it is worth risking the perilous journey to reunite with her. However, he is considered the Don Knotts of his shelter, so nobody gives him much chance.

Fortunately, he soon encounters Clyde Dutton, a crusty old survivalist played by Walking Dead’s Michael Rooker, so you know he must have a knack for staying alive. Dutton has been caring for a young girl named Minnow (not unlike Newt in Aliens), who does not think much of Dawson’s chances, but she is rather taken with Boy, the stray dog that started following him.

If you are guessing Boy (played by Hero and Dodge) steals the show than you would be correct. Together they give quite an endearing canine performance. The monster design also hits the right tone. There is plenty of gross slithering and secreting business, but they never look too realistic or too fake.

Frankly, Dylan O’Brien’s constant neurotic narration eventually gets exhausting (seriously, sometimes he needs to just shut-up and concentrate on his surroundings). Still, he plays well opposite crusty Rooker, snarky little Ariana Greenblatt (as Minnow), and Jessica Henwick, who shows some impressive action cred as Aimee. Of course, Hero and Dodge (the stunt dog) totally upstage him, but what could he expect.

Shadow in the Cloud, from Roseanne Liang

Maybe you don't remember the part about the monster on the plane’s wing in Randall Jarrell classic poem, “Death of a Ball Turret Gunner,” but surely its implied in there someplace. Regardless, Maude Garrett will have to contend with exactly that, as well as a number of Japanese Zeroes, when she hitches a ride in the deadliest seat in a WWII B-17 Bomber for nearly the duration of Roseanne Liang’s Shadow in the Cloud, which releases in theaters and on VOD this Friday.

For some reason, Women’s Auxiliary Flight Officer Garrett is determined to hitch on ride with the crew of the “Fool’s Errand” making a supply run to New Zealand. Even more important than her is the top-secret cargo in her dispatch box. The sexist crew stash her in the ball turret and make demeaning sexual jokes over the open comms, but they stop laughing a little when she bullseyes a Zero that supposedly never would have flown out that far. However, they start dismissing her again when she claims to see a gremlin-like monster sabotaging the engine.

Max Landis and Liang (whose previous short film Do No Harm was the highlight of the 2017 Sundance) cleverly riff on the jokey WWII lore blaming gremlins for engine failure (they were sort of like the invisible “Not Me” in the old Family Circus comic strip). You could think of it as Richard Matheson’s Nightmare at 20,000 Feet adapted to a WWII setting, but Liang and Landis fully develop the premise and consistently raise the stakes.

Liang also deftly capitalizes on the confined space of the ball turret to create tension. In many respects, Shadow is like Steven Knight’s Locke, in which the car-bound Tom Hardy plays off numerous unseen voices over the phone. In this case, the voices and personas of the B-17 crew-members are not as clearly and distinctly established, but that sort of reinforces Garrett’s perspective of alienation from the men above her.

This is very inventive genre filmmaking, so we can forgive the over-the-top, unbelievable excesses of the centerpiece action scene. Of course, it also helps that the gremlin looks cool—and appropriately sinister. Unlike the various Twilight Zone adaptations of Matheson’s story, Liang doesn’t tease us with the gremlin. She gives us plenty of good looks at the nasty creature, who holds up to scrutiny, thanks to some nifty design and effects work.

Legendary: Scott Adkins & Dolph Lundgren Fight Over a Big Lizard

Surely, Travis Preston's dear old mother must have been so proud when he decided to use his aptitude for math and science by becoming a cryptozoologist rather than a boringly conventional internist. It is his job to look for cryptids—monster hunting. Business has been bad for Dr. Preston, but things will heat up when he is recruited to find and protect a big Chinese lizard in Eric Styles’ Legendary (a.k.a. Legendary: Tomb of the Dragon, but it is more of a lair than a tomb and the dragon looks like a giant of the Komodo variety, but let’s not get hung up on international titles here), which airs Wednesday morning on Comet TV.

Preston’s last expedition in search of a gargantuan bear was a tragic disaster. It was really the fault of their trigger-happy trophy-hunting guide, Harker, but Preston is the one who got sued. He assumes his career is over, until attorney Doug McConnel hires him on behalf of his wealthy anonymous client, to track, capture, and protect a previously undiscovered giant lizard species that has been terrorizing a provincial Chinese village.

To do his job, Preston must compete with Harker, who has been hired by the local oil company to kill the beast. Harker has all the institutional advantages and greater resources. However, his former science advisor, Dr. Lan Zeng, helps level the playing field when she defects to Team Preston. They also team up with Jianyu, the local school teacher, who was trying to expose the petroleum company’s culpability, until he buys into their save-the-monster campaign.

Despite the presence of Scott Adkins and Dolph Lundgren, there are no martial art beatdowns in Legendary—just a roundhouse punch connecting with Harker’s jaw. This is a creature-hunting movie, pure and simple. Actually, the creature’s CGI movements look pretty cool on the small screen, but the SFX team either couldn’t crack his attacks or the producers refused to show his choppers snapping down on victims, to preserve the PG-13 rating.

Tar: It Came from La Brea

The La Brea tar pits are like ultimate primordial burial ground and the city of Los Angeles was basically developed right over them (and you know what happens to people who build over ancient remains in horror films). From time to time, the pits have appeared in movies, typically of the disaster variety. In this one, the evicted tenants of a down-market office building will not be lucky enough to have a conventional natural disaster to contend with. Instead, they must fight off something monstrous that has survived below in Aaron Wolf’s Tar, which opens this Friday in drive-ins and a few of those places where they project movies.

Things were strained between Zach Greenwood and his father Barry, even before their scummy landlord Sebastien Stirling terminated their decades-old lease with one day’s notice, forcing them to vacate, clean, and repaint by 6:00 am, or face $100K in penalties. Suddenly, they are scrambling to save the family repair business, as is the neighbor, accountant Diana Dunder of DD Accounting (if you don’t get the joke now, you’ll know it when you see it).

Of course, Greenwood’s slacker pal Ben is too busy not helping Dunder to do anything for him and his dad. At least their palm-reading assistant Marigold is an efficient packer. However, when the power is suddenly cut, it really sets them back—and then the mysterious “Tar Man” creature attacks.

Initially, Wolf creates a terrific group dynamic for the hodge-podge office mates and effectively establishes the tar-thing’s back-story through the legends told by “Carl,” the homeless La Brea story-teller. However, he relies a little too heavily on Greenwood family flashbacks and lets the attitude dissipate somewhat during the second half, as the monster-stalking-his-prey business overshadows the characters’ snarky arguments and horny double-entendre. In fact, viewers will probably be surprised how upset they get when supporting characters start to meet their genre-mandated fate.

Indeed, Tar has an unusually strong ensemble for a tongue-in-cheek monster movie half-spoof. Tiffany Shepis, Nicole Alexandra Shipley, and Dani Fernandez all earn big laughs as Marigold, Dunder, and her assistant, Carmenia. Stuart Stone oozes slime as Stirling, while Max Perlich projects flinty grit and wiry strength as Greenwood’s flashback grandpa. Similarly, Timothy Bottoms personifies world-weary regret as Barry Greenwood.

Shudder: Monstrum

The King is convinced reports of a monster rampaging outside the capitol are fake news designed to undermine his reign. The cabal is real, but unfortunately the news is not as fake as the conspirators think in director-screenwriter Huh Jong-ho’s Monstrum, which premieres today on Shudder.

According to a cryptic 1527 entry in the royal court history, King Jungjong moved the capitol for three years, because of monster attacks. Supposedly, it really says that. In reality, it could have been a number of other things, but a monster makes for a better movie than a plague. Unfortunately, the good people of Joseon have to contend with that too, because some of the so-called “Monstrum’s” victims exhibit tell-tale signs of disease. Suspiciously, others don’t.

To get to the bottom of the Monstrum rumors, King Jungjong enlists the services of retired officer Yoon Gyeom, who resigned in disgust with the King’s ruthless handling of a previous plague. In subsequent years, Yoon has lived a quiet life with comedic relief brother Sung Han and Myung, who he raised as a daughter after saving her from a plague-era massacre. Reluctantly, he agrees to lead the monster hunt, but he is walking into a trap laid by the scheming prime minister, Sim Woon. However, things get a little more complicated when a certain uninvited guest crashes the party.

Monstrum is a wildly entertaining monster movie that is rife with irony for contemporary audiences keenly attuned to themes of pandemics, fake news, and “deep state” subversion. Trump and Bolsonaro fans, this could be the Korean monster movie you have been waiting for—even though both the monster and the pestilence are very real.

The monster design is not particularly original, but the digital effects look unusually realistic on the small screen. He pretty much tears apart most of the Imperial Palace and any of the Sim Woon’s Wolf Warriors who get in the way, which is definitely cool to watch. There is also plenty of high-quality martial arts and hack-and-slash action to keep viewers’ adrenaline pumped up. There are times when Huh really pushes the limits of credibility, but seriously, who cares?

The Thing from Another World—The Original Classic

This might just be the U.S. military’s finest hour on film. They had already saved the world from the Axis powers during WWII and now only a small handful of officers and crew will stand between the world and a hostile alien invader. John Carpenter featured clips of this film in his classic slasher Halloween, before remaking it in 1982 (hewing much more closely to John W. Campbell’s original source novella, Who Goes There?). However, nobody has ever matched the authentic swagger and attitude of Christian Nyby’s The Thing from Another World (sometimes simply called The Thing), produced by Howard Hawks, which airs soon on TCM.

Captain Pat Hendry is the sort of leader who inspires confidence during times of crisis, but when it comes to romance, not so much. When the film opens, Hendry is taking a good deal of ribbing in the officer’s club over his disastrous date with Nikki Nicholson, a civilian employee in the Arctic research station Hendry’s crew often visits to resupply. It is there that he meets Ned Scott, a journalist and old friend of his co-pilot, Lt. Eddie Dykes.

Scott will hitch a ride with Hendry’s crew when they are ordered back to the Arctic station to investigate a mysterious crash site. It turns out the mysterious object was indeed a flying saucer. Rather unfortunately, the standard-operating salvage procedure results in the destruction of the craft (causing more grief for Hendry, especially from the research director, Dr. Arthur Carrington), but the alien occupant is preserved, frozen in ice. Hendry wants to keep him that way, but when it is accidentally thawed out, the Thing starts wreaking havoc. It turns out it is dashed hard to kill, because of its plant-like cell-structure, but fortunately the American military is endlessly resourceful.

The Thing (1951) is one of the greatest monster movies ever, not because of its special effects (which were really just okay for its era), but because of its superior characterization and dialogue. To this day, controversy remains regarding whether or not Nyby or Hawks really and truly directed the picture, with the rat-a-tat-tat pace of each exchange supporting suspicions of the latter (bringing to mind classics like His Girl Friday and To Have and Have Not, helmed by Hawks). In fact, both Hawks and Ben Hecht did uncredited punch-up work on Charles Lederer’s screenplay.

No matter who did what, The Thing (1951) perfectly captures the rhythms and cadences of military speech. It is all the more impressive, because Hawks and company were working around the Production Code. When Hendry tells Dykes and Lt. “Mac” MacPherson “just once I’d like to have a co-pilot and navigator who are wet behind the ears” we can tell he is really saying something much ruder and exponentially more explicit.

Flyway ’19: Lake Michigan Monster

They drink a lot of beer in Milwaukee. That might explain this movie. Somehow it manages to be utterly absurd and mysteriously otherworldly, in an extremely weird DIY sort of way. The hunt is on for a Great Lakes kaiju, but each plan produces evermore disastrous results in Ryland Brickson Cole Tews’ Lake Michigan Monster, which screens this weekend at the 2019 Flyway Film Festival.

As the blustery Captain Seacoast explains in his opening monologue/debriefing, he has assembled a crack team of oddballs to hunt the monster that killed his father. The details of his watery death to tend evolve with each successive telling, but whatever. Seacoast will have his vengeance and he is willing to pay handsomely for it. To that end, he has recruited “weapons expert” Sean Shaughnessy, sonar technician Nedge Pepsi, and dishonorably discharged Navy seaman Dick Flynn.

Visually, Michigan Monster is wildly stylish and gleefully inventive. Clearly, Tews never met a sight-gag he didn’t like. He definitely applies the Mel Brooks scattergun approach to comedy, but he is even more manic. When it misses, the film is an awkward viewing experience, like watching a fish flop around on dry land—but when it is funny, it is off-the-wall hysterical.

Tews similarly goes all in playing Seacoast, in a performance that might be something like Kelsey Grammer portraying Popeye the Sailor after pounding half a case of whiskey. It’s his show and he runs with it. Probably Beulah Peters makes the most headway undercutting him as the sardonic Pepsi. She also has an extended colloquy with Daniel Long’s Flynn on Seacoast’s mangled syntax that would make Howard Hawks beam with approval.

Dead Ant: It Came from the Desert, Again

1980s heavy metal hair bands haven’t died. They are just in denial. Sonic Grave is convinced they will make an inevitable comeback, despite changing tastes and their lack of talent. However, the rampaging giant formicidae might finally force them to face what passes for reality in this goofball stoner movie. They can blame the peyote for unleashing some massively bad mojo, but it is all really their own fault in Ron Carlson’s Dead Ant (trailer here), which opens this Friday in select cities.

Frankly, Sonic Grave does not take itself too seriously, so why should we? Their loudmouth manager with a martyr complex has booked them at No-chella, the down-market alternative to Coachella. Naturally, they stop for some peyote on the way. “Bigfoot,” the native dealer warns them not to harm any element of nature while they are tripping or it will boomerang back on them. Of course, Art the bassist starts tripping early and then “disrespects” some ants. It works out badly for him.

Soon, Sonic Grave have an early Roger Corman movie on their hands, except it isn’t as fun (despite being an intentional comedy). Yes, this might be hard to believe, but it turns out a giant ant movie starring Tom Arnold is kind of lame. Arnold certainly does not help much as the compulsively verbose manager. Dude, shut up. It is also pretty stunning to see Michael Horse, the reliably tough and cool Native American actor, playing the shticky Bigfoot (seriously, he was Deputy Hawk on Twin Peaks).

As Sonic Grave band members, Sean Astin, Jake Bussey, and Rhys Coiro mug and chew the scenery shamelessly. Arguably, Sydney Sweeney gets the biggest laugh of the film old-shaming Coiro’s Pager, but then script has her acting like a super-available groupie minutes later.

Reportedly, Carlson spent a year perfecting the digital effects for the rampaging ants. Some of that time might have been better used punching-up the script. The ants look okay, but the “wow factor” in this film is minimal. Yet, let’s be honest—in a movie like this, we want the ants to look cheesy.

It is not obvious from the final film whether Carlson has nostalgic affection for either old Corman-style monster movies or 80s hair bands, which is a problem. Frankly, it makes It Came from the Desert look like Young Frankenstein. Not to repeat ourselves, but the tragically under-screened Attack of the Bat Monsters is the best film for early 1960s monster nostalgia—and it doesn’t even have any real monsters.

Carlson maintains a well-caffeinated energy level and there is plenty of silliness to keep drunk or stoned fans giggling, but the film does not have any real heart or soul. It is no Ahockalypse, that’s for sure. You are better off watching Them! instead. Not recommended, but whatever, Dead Ant opens this Friday (1/25) in LA, at the Laemmle Music Hall.

It Came from the Desert: B-Movie with Ants

It is a case of double retro nostalgia. At this point, the 1989 Commodore Amiga video game inspired by Them! and any number of Roger Corman sci-fi monster quickies seems like an unusual candidate for a feature adaptation, but at least it had a story. As it happens, most of the characters and plot points did not survive the property’s revival, but the ants are still in here. They will be big and mean in Marko Mäkilaakso’s It Came from the Desert (trailer here), which releases today on VOD.

Lukas Deakins has just notched another dirt bike victory, thanks in part to his brainy younger brother Brian’s legal modifications. What better way to celebrate than a sloppy kegger out in the middle of the desert? To thank his bro, he will also invite along Brian’s longtime crush, Lisa, but it will take a crisis to get him to make a move.

Fortunately, a government contractor has fused alien DNA with common ants, because obviously that is what the scientific method dictates. Of course, they are adaptive little buggers, who managed to overrun the underground facility. The smarty pants scientists thought they were being clever by genetically engineering the need for an outside catalyst for their reproduction. That would be alcohol. Well, so much for that.

ICFTD is an amiable film with two likable central characters, but it clearly assumes that plus its nostalgic premise is more than enough to carry it over the finish line. Unfortunately, it lacks the real inspiration of a film like Graham Kelly Greene’s criminally under-distributed Attack of the Bat Monsters. Instead, we are just watching the cast, with their loopy grins, gamely going through the motions.

Vanessa Grasse portrays Lisa as a relatively forceful and proactive character, even though she will eventually require some rescuing. Harry Lister Smith is unflaggingly earnest as Brian, but Alex Mills approaches accidental self-parody as the nauseatingly cocky Lukas. However, the film deserves credit for the ant effects. The CGI is light-years more convincing than anything that would have been possible in the 1950s, 1960s, or even 1980s, but there is still an eccentricity to the attacking ants that is in keeping with the campy spirit of the films that inspired it.

Frankly, it is rather surprising how straight Mäkilaakso and his cast play it, which is a point in their favor. Unfortunately, Mäkilaakso and his co-screenwriters Trent Haaga and Henry Woon, Jr. never figure out where to take it. For genre fans, the results are nostalgic, but not particularly memorable. For seriously sentimental fans of the game (clips of which appear during the closing credits), It Came from the Desert releases today (5/29) on VOD platforms, including iTunes.

NYICFF ’18: Zombillenium

Hector is becoming more human. He was a workplace safety inspector and now he is a zombie. It’s definitely an improvement. After years of bullying companies, he now finds himself at the bottom of the monster pecking order. However, Hector might just finally organize the passive walking dead in Arthur de Pins & Alexis Ducord’s Zombillenium (trailer here), which screens during this year’s New York International Children’s Film Festival.

As a widowed single father, Hector has not been doing right by his daughter Lucie. After promising to take her to the all-too-real monster-themed amusement park Zombillenium, he tries to wriggle out of it by shutting it down with workplace safety citations. However, the park’s general manager, Francis Von Bloodt will not stand for that, so he kills Hector and remands him into Zombillenium service as a zombie.

Oddly enough, it turns out Hector makes a good zombie. Thanks to his contributions, the zombie attractions start to gain popularity at the vampires’ expense. With the exception of the sympathetic Von Bloodt, this new turn of events does not sit well with the blood-suckers, so they start plotting, because they are monsters after all. Meanwhile, Gretchen the Nine Inch Nails-listening intern-witch (whose father is rumored to be quite an infernal one) will try to facilitate a reunion between the embattled Hector and his grieving daughter.

De Pins and Ducord cast the zombies-versus-vampires struggle in unsubtle class warfare terms, yet the militant labor rights messaging rather clashes with wonton abuse of government regulatory power displayed by Hector while still in human form. At least nobody sings “The Internationale,” but the filmmaker clearly would not mind if little ones in the audience jumped up to yell “¡no psaran!,” while pumping their fist. It’s a shame, because it drags down the fun quotient of an otherwise charming animated film.

If you can overlook the forays into propaganda, Zombillenium is an entertaining monster movie that tweaks the traditional legends and movie conventions in clever ways. The father-daughter relationship is rather sweet and touching, while the ambiguous chemistry that develops between Hector and Gretchen pays off nicely.

As a side note, Zombillenium had its only 3D screening at the festival last Sunday. Ordinarily, we consider 3D an underwhelming cash-grab, but in this case, it works unusually well. A good deal of the story involves the park rollercoaster and Gretchen’s witchboard, so there is all kinds of swooping and swooshing, which makes for a richer, fuller 3D experience than someone pointing a sharp stick at the camera.

Zombillenium is definitely a film for older kids, because there are some intense scenes, including the downtrodden zombies laboring like Sisyphus on the Conan wheel in H-E-double hockey-sticks. However, fans who know their Famous Monsters of Filmland and Drak Pack will get a kick out of seeing the classic monster archetypes updated for the postmodern era. Recommended despite its didactic excesses, Zombillenium screens again in 2D this Saturday (3/17), as part of the 2018 NYICFF.

Patrons of French cinema might also be interested in Jean-Pierre Jeunet & Romain Segaud’s Two Snails Set Off, a three-minute animated adaptation of the Jacques Prévert poem. It is more about creepy-crawly critters than creatures, but it displays the same Baroque-level of detail seen in Jeunet’s features, such as Delicatessen. It also features the voice talent of a platoon of famous French screen thesps, including Audrey Tatou and Irène Jacob. Brief but still recommended for the auteur’s fans, Two Snails screens as part of the Heebie Jeebies short block this Sunday (3/18).

Beyond Godzilla: The H-Man

For obvious reasons, Japan has long held conflicted feeling about nuclear energy. There is no better example of their inherited collective memory of atomic devastation than the king himself, Godzilla/Gojira. The annual leveling of Tokyo was definitely a macro, big picture event. In contrast, this radiation monster operates on a micro level, flowing under doors to dissolve its prey, one by one. The production team from the original Godzilla reunited to bring to oozing life the monster of Ishirō Honda’s The H-Man (trailer here), which launches the Japan Society’s new film series, Beyond Godzilla: Alternative Futures & Fantasies in Japanese Cinema.

As so many monster films do, H-Man begins with a maritime disaster. The crew of the Ryujin Maaru II are basically fodder for the goo, but a few will survive to tell their tale. Shortly thereafter, a mid-level drug trafficker named Misaki meets a rather strange fate, apparently dissolving on the streets of Tokyo. This is not some sort cartel acid attack, because Misaki’s disembodied clothes were left behind unharmed. Therefore, the cops initially assume he is still alive and proceed to hassle his innocent girlfriend Arai Chikako, in hopes of finding a missing shipment of drugs.

Straight-laced young Prof. Masada understands this not a garden variety gang war. The phenomenon is nuclear (the “H” for Hydrogen might be a bit of a misnomer, but whatever). He has even recreated predatory radioactive goo in his lab, using frogs (or rather toads). Whichever, this is science, it doesn’t have to be precisely accurate. Regardless, the cops are determined not to get it, until it is too late. Still, they are not necessarily wrong to be concerned about the gangsters operating at the night club where Chikako performs. Naturally, the drug smuggling subplot will come to a head right when the H-Man strikes, because that is how it always works.

It is hard to think of a film that purees more genres than H-Man. It is sort of a kaiju film, but also somewhat akin to a Universal-style monster movie, especially following Black Lagoon. There are science fiction elements, but also old school gangster shenanigans. Plus, there are exotic Cotton Club-style night club floor shows that are far more surreal than anything involving the H-Man. Yet, it all fits together relatively logically and flows pretty smoothly, thanks to Honda.

Yumi Shirakawa is convincingly innocent and vulnerable, while still rocking the sequined Josephine Baker outfits. Kenji Sahara’s Masada is unflaggingly earnest and tireless in the service of exposition. Technically, there is not much of an H-Man to brood or emote, but Makoto Satō chews enough scenery for the two of them as Uchida, the ruthless drug kingpin.

H-Man is weird and crazy in all the right ways. Frustratingly, it is one of those films that was chopped up and redubbed for its original American release, so it has often been presented in prints and cuts that do not do it full justice. Happily, the Japan Society will present The H-Man as it should be seen (in color and subtitles) when it screens this Friday (3/24), kicking off the Beyond Godzilla film series.

Monsters: Dark Continent—Love the Smell of Burning Kaiju in the Morning

There is an old saying about no atheists in fox holes. By the same token, a herd of rampaging kaijus ought to make even the most irrational jihadist grateful to see the U.S. Marines. Sadly, that is not the case in this chaotic near future monster bash. The Middle East has become the world’s hottest infection zone, so the American military has come to fight the monsters where they are. Yet, every accidental case of collateral damage becomes grist for Islamist grievance propaganda in Tom Green’s Monsters: Dark Continent (trailer here), which opens this Friday in New York.

For those keeping score at home, Dark Continent is technically a sequel to Gareth Edwards’ Monsters, but it is probably just as well if prospective viewer are not aware of its lineage, or else they might expect a significantly better film. Ten years after the events of straight Monsters, the Middle East has become the new center of battle. A group of thuggish friends from Detroit (looking even scarier than the terrorist and tentacle ridden desert) have shipped off to Sgt. Noah Frater’s unit, so he will make sure the maggots are in proper fighting condition. They are a stereotypical pack, who hardly deserve names, including the sullen orphan protagonist, his unstable protector, and the buddy whose girlfriend just had a baby. Right, odds are he won’t even make it into the second act.

Edwards’ Monster was a clever DIY calling card that led directly to his Godzilla gig. Unfortunately, even though Green retained the general creature designs, he emphasizes the worst aspects of the previous film. Where Monsters offered a lot of not so subtle immigration commentary, Dark Continent sees itself as an extended critique of American military intervention in the Mid-East. However, the message-making was hardly the reason the prior film was successful. The first time around, Edwards understood his responsibility for providing certain kaiju deliverables. In fact, aspects of politicized near future worked in tandem with the film’s genre movie conventions. Being stuck on the monster-plagued side of an ultra-fortified border follows right in line with the basic rock-and-a-hard-place tradition.

Bizarrely, Green frequently loses sight of the titular monsters and invites the audience to openly side with the terrorist insurgency against the American military. They are just uneducated thrill seekers who shoot first and ask questions later, whereas the victimized local population understands how to live with the monsters in inter-species harmony. Of course, if any of the monsters were women, they would have to wear a burqa and if any were homosexual, they would logically be stoned to death.

There is precious little characterization in Dark Continent, except for Frater, whom British thesp Johnny Miller plays as a bulging eyed, anti-social, PTSD head case. Happily, nobody in the film says: “it became necessary to destroy the village in order to save it,” but that probably represents a supreme act of restraint on Green’s part. Shallow as a puddle and clumsily didactic, Monster: Dark Continent is not recommended when it opens this Friday (4/17) in New York, at the Village East.

Ragnarok: Summer Vacation in Finnmark

The Oseberg Viking ship was an extraordinary archaeological find. It remains one of the best preserved vessels, but it has not exactly boosted the reputation of Viking nautical engineering, considering two modern facsimiles have proved unseaworthy. Nevertheless, an absent-minded archaeologist is convinced the Oseberg ship ventured all the way up to Norway’s Finnmark region. He also believes they witnessed something that inspired the apocalyptic Norse myths, so naturally he drags his bratty kids along to investigate. They will definitely find something in Mikkel Brænne Sandemose’s Ragnarok (trailer here), which launches on VOD today.

The Viking Ship Museum display of the Oseberg craft is quite dramatic. Unfortunately, the widower-father Sigurd Svendsen has essentially talked himself out of a job there with all his crazy theories. However, when his reckless co-worker Allan discovers a corroborating artifact, Svendsen packs up his petulant daughter Ragnhild and devoted son Brage to spend their summer vacation scouring for more runes in exciting Finnmark.

Naturally, Ragnhild is not too thrilled about these plans, but the spectacular scenery briefly shuts her up. They quickly meet up with Elizabeth, Allan’s “cool chick” colleague, and their hard drinking guide Leif, who is clearly just itching to yell “throw me the idol and I’ll throw you the whip.” There are headed towards Odin’s Eye, an island in the middle of former Soviet border outpost, where viewers know Queen Åsa’s father met with a painful death centuries ago in the prologue. Could there be some truth to the legend of the Midgard serpent Jörmungandr? That might explain why there’s a snake on the poster.

Frankly, one of the best things about Ragnarok is the setting. The suspiciously deserted Soviet military base is pretty creepy and the Odin’s Eye isle is worthy of a Peter Jackson Tolkien movie. Unfortunately, the creature effects are completely lacking the awe factor. Worse still is all the Svendsen family drama we have to sit through.

Apparently, Pål Sverre Hagen is Norway’s go-to actor for adventurous academics, following-up his portrayal of Thor Heyerdahl in the Oscar nominated Kon-Tiki with his turn as Svendsen. He is appealing earnest as the naïve archaeologist and he develops some pleasantly flirtatious chemistry with Sofia Helin’s hip and sporty Elizabeth. However, the kids are like fingernails on a blackboard.

Given the success of Marvel’s Thor franchise and History Channel’s Vikings, it is not surprising Norse mythology is getting a look-see from more filmmakers. Sandemose certainly proves fjords are strikingly cinematic, but he never fully capitalizes on the Ragnarok mythos or the Oseberg backstory. Instead, he concentrates on emulating the most annoying parts of Jurassic Park. There are moments of promise in Ragnarok, but it never comes together, at least not for reasonably adult audiences. Nevertheless, it is now available for Norse mythology fans to try on VOD from Magnolia/Magnet. It also opens theatrically next Friday (8/22) in Santa Fe at the Jean Cocteau Cinema.

Bow Down to Daimajin

Technically, he is a god not a monster.  Regardless, it is a very bad idea to provoke him.  Every kid ought to be dressing up as the giant (majin) deity this Halloween.  He also makes a perfect stocking stuffer now that all three Daimajin features have been released together as the Daimajin Triple Feature collection (trailer here), now available on Blu-Ray at online retailers everywhere.

Combining the Jidaigeki historical genre with the big lumbering Kaiju monster movie, the storied Daiei Japanese studio released three Daimajin films in 1966.  The concept essentially adapted ancient archetypes of the Waste Land suffering from despotic rule for the Godzilla age.  Indeed, the serious tenor is established right from the start of Kimiyoshi Yasuda’s series launching Daimajin.
Lord Hanabusa’s serfs live secure in the knowledge they are protected from a fierce majin by the idol of their god, holding him trapped under the mountain.  He is about to get really hacked off though.  The humane Hanabusa has been overthrown by his ruthless chamberlain Samanosuke, who orders the murder of the entire Hanabusa clan.  However, loyal family retainer Kogenta spirits Hanabusa’s young son and daughter off to the monster’s mountain, where they live in relative peace under the shadow of the Daimajin statue.  Eventually, Kogenta and the Hanabusa heir are captured.  Intending to permanently demoralize the restive villagers, Samanosuke’s men then set out to destroy the mountain idol.  Okay, good luck with that plan.

In Kenji Misumi’s Return of Daimajin, the second and perhaps best of the series, Daimajin now resides on a quite picturesque island in Lake Yakumo, where the neighboring Chigusa and Nagoshi clans pay proper reverence.  Coveting the fruits of their industry, the tyrannical Lord Danjo Mikoshiba launches a sneak attack during a joint Chigusa-Nagoshi festival, occupying the land around Yakumo.  Lord Nagoshi is murdered, but his son Katsushige escapes, taking refuge on the majin’s island.  It is here that Sayuri, his Chingusa fiancée, prays for their salvation.

Of course, Mikoshiba tries to show everyone by blowing up the island idol.  Soon thereafter, the skies darken and lightning flashes, prompting some rather nervous comments about how abruptly the weather around these parts can change.  Featuring well crafted sets, appealing backdrops, and a shockingly strong cast (led by Shiho Fujimura as Lady Sayuri) Return would probably be nearly as satisfying as a straight historical drama without the monster bits.

With each clocking in under the eighty minute mark, the Daimajin films are formulaic and addictive as popcorn.  The third departs the most from the template, which might be why it became the franchise finale (sadly there would be no I Told You Not to Mock Daimajin, but everyone’s favorite angry majin was rebooted on Japanese television in 2010).  For his third go-round in Kazuo Mori’s Daimajin Strikes Again (a.k.a. Wrath of Daimajin), Daimajin has returned to the mountains and he now has a winged familiar.  Through the hawk’s eyes, Daimjin follows four poor youngsters as they make the arduous journey over his mountain in hopes of rescuing their logger fathers and brothers from an evil warlord.  While the boys give the first half of the film a distinctly adolescent character, it proceeds on a rather bittersweet course that might be too emotionally challenging for similarly aged viewers.

Of the consistencies between all three films, the most important is the late third act coming of the guest of honor, Daimajin.  Building viewer anticipation, the usurpers and warlords he crushes have truly been asking for it when he finally shows himself.  Unlike other Japanese monster movies, we can enjoy his rampages with a clear conscience, because they are all about retribution.  It is a sight to behold when the stone idol rouses itself to action.  Although Daimajin seems to have some undefined telekinetic powers, his weapon of choice is the slow bone-crushing stomp. 

Certainly the special effects rendering Daimajin’s destructive force were the product of their time, but they hold up pretty well, all things considered.  Daiei definitely assigned some of their better period designers to the franchise, because the trappings are first rate.  It all looks great on Blu-Ray, thanks to a nice transfer. 

More than a cut above standard issue creature features, the Daimajin films earnestly and rather compellingly address themes of faith and sacrifice.  Bad guys also get flattened, which is kind of awesome.  Enormous fun for connoisseurs of both Jidaigeki and Kaiju films, the Daimajin Triple Feature is enthusiastically recommended to skeptical viewers beyond the cult fan base.  Just in time for Christmas, it is now available on Blu-Ray from Mill Creek Entertainment.

Sundance ’12: Grabbers

Believe it or not, that Guinness before you is the last best line of defense against the alien invasion. Fortunately, the villagers of Erin Island are up to the demands of survival in Jon Wright’s Grabbers, which screened during the 2012 Sundance Film Festival.

Garda Lisa Nolan is a workaholic who spends her vacation temping for the sergeant on the tight little island. Busy drowning a broken heart, local Garda Ciarán O’Shea is not impressed, at least not by her ambition. Fortunately, nothing ever happens there, at least until the aliens invade. At first, the only one to see the blood-sucking mollusks who lives to talk about it is the town drunk (and he’s not O’Shea). After a bit of investigation, it turns out the aliens do not have a taste for .2 alcohol levels. With a storm fast approaching, there is only one thing to do. Lock everyone in the pub and get them hammered.

Frankly, Grabbers is a surprisingly mild midnight selection at Sundance (particularly considering this is the year they launched V/H/S). Gentler even than Tremors, it is quite similar in tone to R.W. Goodwin’s unapologetically nostalgic Alien Trespass. Considering the central role played by public inebriation, midnight audiences were probably expecting liberal helpings of gross-out humor that never materialized. Indeed, Grabbers is more about soft chuckles than big belly laughs.

Granted, this is not the sort of film one looks to for rigorous logic, but it makes no sense the high-functioning alcoholic would be the only one to stay sober, beyond providing O’Shea with an opportunity for redemption. Still, Richard Coyle is reasonably charismatic as the formerly degenerate Garda. In contrast, Ruth Bradley does not leave much of a mark as Nolan, but David Pearse scores some of the film’s funniest moments as Brian Maher, the short-tempered barkeep.

Wright keeps things moving along well enough and the monster effects are realized quite well (arguably better than they should be in an old school creature feature). The results are all very pleasant, but never quite live up to the promise of its clever premise. Nice, but not crazy, Grabbers should nonetheless find an appreciative genre audience following its midnight screenings at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

The Legends are True: Troll Hunter

Norway faces a number of tricky public policy challenges, like an aging population, an influx of culturally dissimilar immigrants, and the increasingly belligerent troll colonies. As in every genre film, the Norwegian government would like to keep that last one a secret. However, a student film crew stumbles onto the truth in screenwriter-director André Øvredal’s The Troll Hunter (trailer here), a darn well put together monster movie that opens today in New York.

Our title character is the most grizzled civil servant you will ever meet. Hans has no hatred in his heart for the ginormous ogres he hunts. He just has a job to do, working for the double-secret government office of troll affairs. Suspecting he is a bear poacher, aspiring journalist Thomas and his classmates start rather unsubtly tracking the tracker. Fed up with his bureaucratic boss and the piles of departmental red tape, the hunter decides to show them the truth: the trolls are out there. Of course, they can’t handle the truth.

Though it probably cost less to produce Troll Hunter than to ship the film to Park City for this year’s Sundance Film Festival, the trolls look shockingly good (more or less resembling big hulking gnomes), thanks to the canny work of VFX supervisor Oystein Larsen and cinematographer Hallvard Bræin. Presented as the student crew’s salvaged videotape, much in the manner of Blair Witch, the film’s rough look well serves their troll effects. No harsh close-ups here, just flattering wide shots.

While the college kids are all essentially expendable, Otto Jespersen is all kinds of awesome as Hans. The found footage conceit always makes character development problematic, but his cranky Troll Hunter feels like a fully formed, flesh and blood person, albeit a considerably difficult one. In fact, given Jespersen’s rep as the Bill Maher of Norway, his time is probably best spent chasing through the forests of Vestlandet.

Øvredal truly engages in kitchen-sink filmmaking, cherry-picking some clever traditional troll lore while slathering it all in generous helpings of black humor (much of which comes courtesy of the acerbic Troll Hunter himself). Øvredal also sprinkles a thimble full of socio-political “relevance” on top, but wisely never belabors his points. While it is hard to read too much into the trolls’ ferocious response to smell of the blood of Christian believers, there is an unmistakable anti-developmental message weaved into the subtext. Fortunately, it is not pronounced enough to distract from a good clean troll hunt.

Troll Hunter is one of the most entertaining Norwegian monster movies in years. Øvredal really pulls it off, getting a key assist from Jespersen as his crusty protagonist. Proudly representing Kingdom of Norway, it opens today (6/10) in New York at the Village East.

Sundance ’11: Troll Hunter

Norway faces a number of tricky public policy challenges, like an aging population, an influx of culturally dissimilar immigrants, and the increasingly belligerent troll colonies. As in every genre film, the Norwegian government would like to keep that last one a secret. However, a student film crew stumbles onto the truth in screenwriter-director Andre Øvredal’s The Troll Hunter (trailer here), a darn well put together monster movie that screens as part of the Park City at Midnight track during this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

Our title character is the most grizzled civil servant you will ever meet. Hans has no hatred in his heart for the ginormous ogres he hunts. He just has a job to do, working for the double-secret government office of troll affairs. Suspecting he is a bear poacher, aspiring journalist Thomas and his classmates start rather unsubtly tracking the tracker. Fed up with his bureaucratic boss and the piles of departmental red tape, the hunter decides to show them the truth: the trolls are out there.

Though it probably cost less to produce Troll Hunter than to ship the film to Park City, the trolls look shockingly good (more or less resembling big hulking gnomes), thanks to the canny work of VFX supervisor Oystein Larsen and cinematographer Hallvard Bræin. Presented as the student crew’s salvaged videotape, much in the manner of Blair Witch, the film’s rough look well serves their troll effects. No harsh close-ups here, just flattering wide shots.

While the college kids are all essentially expendable, Otto Jespersen is all kinds of awesome as Hans. The found footage conceit always makes character development problematic, but his cranky Troll Hunter feels like a fully formed, flesh and blood person, albeit a considerably difficult one. In fact, given Jespersen’s rep as the Bill Maher of Norway, his time is probably better spent chasing through the forests of Vestlandet.

Øvredal truly engages in kitchen-sink filmmaking, cherry-picking some clever traditional troll lore while slathering it all in generous helpings of black humor (much of which comes courtesy of the acerbic Troll Hunter himself). Øvredal also sprinkles a thimble full of socio-political “relevance” on top, but wisely never belabors his points. While it is hard to read too much into the trolls’ ferocious response to smell of the blood of Christian believers, there is an unmistakable anti-developmental message weaved into the subtext. Fortunately, it is not pronounced enough to distract from a good clean troll hunt.

Troll Hunter is one of the most entertaining Norwegian monster movies in years. Øvredal really pulls it off, getting a key assist from Jespersen as his crusty protagonist. Proudly representing Kingdom of Norway, it screens tonight (1/21) tomorrow (1/22), Tuesday (1/25), next Friday (1/28), and the following Saturday (1/29) at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival.