Chief of War, on Apple TV+

King Kamehameha I was the Garibaldi or Charlemagne of Hawaii. He unified the Islands, but he was a King, so apparently, we must remove his statue from Congress’s National Statuary Hall, because “no kings” is the new motto of the righteous, right? Regardless, Keawe-Ka’iana-a-Ahu’ula (commonly referred to as Ka’iana) was a big part of Kamehameha’s campaigns, at least until he wasn’t. Their relationship was complicated, as viewers soon glean from creators Thomas Pa’a Sibbet & Jason Momoa’s nine-episode historical drama Chief of War, which premiere today on Apple TV+.

Like Dom Toretto, “family” is everything to Ka’iana. He once served as the Chief of War for King Kahekili of Maui, but he tired of the ruler’s bloodlust, so he and his family—wife Kupuohi, brother Namaki, sister-in-law Heke, and his loyal dude—Nahi led to Kauai, where they are treated like lowly refugees. At least, they are no longer party to Kahekili’s cruelty, until the King summons them back to Maui.

Reluctantly, Ka’iana once again leads Kahekili’s army, during Maui’s time of need—except the circumstances are not exactly what the King led him to believe. Horrified by their complicity in Kahekili’s atrocities, Ka’iana’s family once again flees Maui. This time, the find shelter in the Kingdom of Hawaii (a.k.a. “The Big Island”), just as a succession battle erupts. Keoua succeeded his father as king, just as he expected. However, the late monarch willed Hawaii’s war god-idol to his nephew, Kamehameha. Essentially, that was like cleaving the Commander-in-Chief duties from the office of the President of the United States. Keoua takes it as a rebuke, which indeed it was.

As the civil war unfolds, Ka’iana’s family aligns with Kamehameha, but it will be an uneasy alliance. However, Ka’iana might not even get that far. While escaping Kahekili’s army, Ka’iana resorts to a death-defying cliff dive, after which an English trading vessel fishes him out of the ocean, on their way to the rough-and-tumble Spanish-Filipino port city of Zamboanga. Ka’iana will get quite an education there, on subjects like guns.

Time will tell how the indigenous Hawaiian community feels about the depiction of famous chiefs like Kahekili and Keoua. For those coming in without any preconceived notions, the series hums along quite briskly as a big, bold, violent historical epic, very much in the tradition of Mel Gibson’s before-scandal films.

Indeed, Chief of War represents an unusually cinematic streaming series. The Hawaiian Island backdrops look stunning and the battle scenes are spectacular. Although Sibbett, Momoa, and cowriter Doug Jung often cast Westerners in villainous roles (especially with respects to the Spanish slave trade), the series itself is much less concerned with the colonialism than the tribal warfare enveloping the islands.

Far North, on Sundance Now

It is not just fentanyl. China also exports plenty of meth and heroin through CCP-connected triad-controlled companies, like the one run by real-life "alleged" drug lord Tse Chi Lop. His drug-smuggling operation built up a $17 billion dollar empire, but his operatives had a devil of a time launching a small boat into the water. Their misadventures become black comedy gold in creator-director David White’s six-part Far North, which premieres today on Sundance Now.

New Zealanders consider the small coastal village of Ahipara to be quite northern, but for the rest of us, it is pretty darn south [pacific]. We would still find it quiet, even “sleepy,” which is why Tse’s outfit chose it for their drop. The four-woman crew overseen (remotely, of course) by his ruthless lieutenant Cai is supposed to sail just to the edge of NZ territorial waters and then bring a massive meth shipment ashore, where their Flame’s gang will take possession of the goods.

Unfortunately, the motor conks out on Cai’s dingy and when they try to cannibalize a part from their crummy trawler they end up with both vessels incapacitated. Jin, their captain reluctantly requests a rescue from Cai, knowing it will further indebt her to the gangster. Since Tse is getting antsy, Cai flies to New Zealand to handle the problem himself, but his two top lieutenants are turned away by immigration. He will have to mount the rescue himself, with only the help of his timid translator, Sam, and five of Flame’s most clueless meatheads.

None of them knows the first thing about boats, which they prove when they buy a barely sea-worthy rust-bucket. They also need someone with a tractor to launch it, so they are referred to Ed. At first, he and his wife Heather assume they are just a bunch of dumb city folk. Frankly, they kind of like the young kids, so they find it strange they are traveling with the bossy Mandarin-speaking Cai, who keeps beaching their boat. As the quick job turns into multi-day comedy of errors, the couple starts to suspect their customers are up to something possibly smuggling related.

There is a lot of absurdist black humor in Far North, but apparently the slapstick futility on the beach is largely based on fact (even some of the dialogue is reportedly taken verbatim form court transcripts). Flame’s lunkheads get a lot of laughs, especially Maaka Pohatu as Stevie, Albert Mateni as Gravel, and Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi as Tall Guy. You really have to shake your head at their stupidity, but it is funny to witness.

However, as a counterpoint, the situation of the smuggling trawler grows increasingly dire as Jin’s crew runs short of food and water. Frankly, these scenes vividly illustrate the viciousness of China’s organized illicit drug trade. It is not just the users that suffer but also the people like Jin, who is essentially indentured to Tse’s company.

Temuera Morrison and Robyn Malcolm are the glue that holds the madness together as the down-to-earth Ed and Heather. They are likably sarcastic, believably rumpled, and immediately easy to identify with. They also have a pleasant, lowkey chemistry together, which is perhaps a fortuitous byproduct of the thesps’ past work together.

Occupation: Rainfall

You can never beat an alien invasion too decisively. Even the Martians from the 1953 War of the Worlds came back in the 1988 TV series. However, one fanatical Earth defender has a plan to do just that and he is perfectly willing to sacrifice the aliens who have sided with Earth in the process. Amelia Chambers will fight to prevent xenocidal war crimes as well as the invading alien army in Luke Sparke’s Occupation: Rainfall, which releases today in theaters and on-demand.

Yes, this is indeed a sequel to Sparke’s Occupation, from way back in 2018. That film seemed to pretty clearly imply how the whole invasion thing ended up, but it was apparently mistaken. If anything, the aliens have redoubled their efforts to conquer Earth, despite the defection of those who advocate peaceful coexistence, like “Garry the Alien.” That is what Matt Simons calls him. Simons is not too keen on aliens of any stripe, but he still volunteers to accompany Garry on a priority recon mission, to sleuth out what all this “Rainfall” chatter is all about.

Even those of us who saw the original Occupation might have appreciated a few clues as to who we were supposed to remember from the first film. Evidently, Simons was one of them. It is hard to gage who everyone is and how they might have changed, because the first twenty minutes or so is more like a video game showreel than a storyline you can get caught up in.

Eventually, Temuera Morrison makes a welcome return as crusty Peter Bartlett, whom Simons reconnects with while he and Garry make their way towards Pine Gap, the U.S. listening station that has generated a lot of Roswellesque urban legends. That is where they eventually encounter Ken Jeong, the surprise star of the prologue.

Here’s an important spoiler: Rainfall runs over two full hours, yet it ends with “to be continued.” Frankly, the characterization was also stronger in the first film. The visual effects are professional grade (especially the aerial combat sequences), but the xenocidal themes (not unlike those of Orson Scott Card’s unrelated novel) are clumsily heavy-handed.

Occupation: Australian for V

Australians definitely seem to be a freedom loving people, despite their 1996 and 2002 gun laws. Unfortunately, they will regret that legislation when the alien invaders arrive, but at least there are still plenty of hunting rifles out in the rural communities. A rag-tag group of survivors will take the fight to the aliens in director-screenwriter Luke Sparke’s Occupation (trailer here), which opens this Friday in New York.

The aliens first attack during exhibition Australian Rules football match. It was supposed to be former captain Matt Simmons last hurrah and the current captain’s golden opportunity to be scouted, but it did not end that way at all. They do not get along much, but they will have to work together as charter members of the resistance. It turns out their core group is quite resourceful, thanks to members like Simmons’ girlfriend Amelia Chambers, the grizzled but wiser-than-he-looks farmer Arnold, and Peter Bartlett, an ex-militant and would be family man, who just finished serving his prison sentence for murder.

Sure, we have seen this all several times before, starting with the classic George Pal-produced War of the Worlds and recently in the African-set Revolt, which was also released by Saban Films. There are scores of superior alien invasion films, but Occupation’s nicely drawn characters and game cast keep us hooked anyway.

Temuera Morrison is probably the best known and fans will enjoy watching him seething with rage as Bartlett, the distressed father. Stephany Jacobsen shows real star potential as the forceful, action-oriented Chambers, while Charles Mesure looks and acts like Australia personified as crusty, trusty Arnold. Plus, Jacqueline McKenzie steals a few scenes as the uber-commanding Col. Grant.

There is not much time or thought devoted to the aliens’ backstory. Basically, Sparke cribs here and there from the original V and Independence Day. The two-hour running time is really pushing it for what is essentially a B-movie, but to his credit, he keeps the energy level amped up. It cannot compare to the 1953 War of the Worlds, but it is lightyears better than the Tom Cruise monstrosity. Recommended for science fiction fans who enjoy a straight-up throwback now and then, Occupation opens this Friday (7/20) in New York, at the Village East. So, keep watching the skies everybody.

Osiris Child: Oz Sci-Fi

Since the nation was founded as a penal colony, it makes sense Australia would produce a science fiction yarn about an uprising in a colonial space prison. The part about using the prison for top secret monster-creating experiments is where the logic breaks down. However, the unlikely circumstances create a wicked sense of urgency for Lt. Kane Sommerville, who must rescue his young daughter before the company that chartered the colony unleashes Armageddon on the planet’s surface in Shane Abbess’s The Osiris Child (trailer here), which opens this Friday in New York.

Somerville made a mistake that led to the death of his soldiers, but the whole incident was hushed up. The guilt-ridden officer hits the bottle hard, but he is still a crackerjack pilot. As far as being a parent goes, not so much. Yet, he and his daughter Indiana (Indi) can still bond by blasting old road signs in the desert. Unfortunately, the prison riot that frees the mutant monsters happens while Somerville is posted to the orbiting space station. To save Indi, he will have to hijack a ship, run the blockade, and make his way to the city of Osiris.

He will need a little help once he lands (hard). Fortunately, he immediately encounters Sy, a former nurse, who masterminded the escape attempt that precipitated all heck breaking loose. They will need some wheels, preferably armored, so Somerville bribes Gyp and Bill, a slightly incestuous couple, who could have stepped out of a Mad Max movie. They need guns too, so they will indulge in a shopping spree with a couple of arms-dealing hicks, who would be at home in a dystopian Tremors movie. All the while, Abbess slowly reveals nuggets of Sy’s backstory through flashbacks.

Strangely enough, Osiris shares many similar plot points with Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars, but it has the more cartoony narrative. Plus, there are long unnecessary flashbacks to Warden Mourdain acting like a sinister jerk, just to give Temuera Morrison a chance to chew some scenery, which is as good reason as any. Frankly, the special effects look pretty impressive, but there is nothing uniquely distinctive to this world we haven’t seen before.

Still, fans will find Daniel MacPherson’s Kane a refreshingly hardnosed and manly protagonist. The hard-drinking bad dad is definitely not a vegan Social Justice Warrior. Kellan Lutz also broods decently as Sy. Frustratingly, the film completely wastes up-and-coming action star Grace Huang, as Sy’s head nurse. However, Rachel Griffiths nicely counterbalances the fiery Morrison with the coolly calculating villainy of General Lynex, a character very much like Sky Marshal Amy Snapp in Traitor of Mars.

Osiris has its nutty pleasures, but it never fully achieves lift-off. Given the former title, Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child, it was obviously intended as the launch of a franchise, but it is highly unlikely go too far past volume one. It will be a distracting enough film to stream when it hits Netflix or Shudder, which will probably happen soon, but there is no need to make any great effort to see it in theaters when it opens this Friday (10/6) in New York, at the Cinema Village.

Tribeca ’13: Fresh Meat

Insert your own family dinner joke here.  Or don’t bother.  New Zealander Danny Mulheron’s fearless cannibal comedy will make them all for us.  Questions of good taste will entirely depend on the viewer’s palate when Fresh Meat (trailer here) screens as a Midnight selection of the 2013 Tribeca Film Festival.

Rina Crane is a very proper young Maori lady who has come home from boarding school.  She is thinking it is about time to drop the lesbian bomb with her family, but they beat her to the punch, revealing the new family diet.  In hopes of finally achieving tenure, her academic father Hemi Crane has revived an ancient mystical cannibal cult.  Eating will flesh will give them supernatural powers or so the theory goes.  His new faith is about to be put to the test when a reckless gang of fugitives invades the Crane home.

For the freaked out Rina, this sudden turn of events is not all bad, largely because of Gigi, the ringleader’s less than enthusiastic girlfriend.  She happens to bear a strong resemblance to the fetish superhero character Rina created as a focus for her fantasies.  Clearly, the two share an instant attraction, at a time when Rina’s family loyalties are somewhat fraying.

Basically, Fresh combines elements of Desperate Hours with We Are What We Are, adding all kinds of politically incorrect humor.  At one point Hemi Crane declares: “we are not Maori cannibals, we are cannibals who happen to be Maori.”  Whew, feel better everybody?  The treatment of Lesbian themes is about as sensitive, with scenes clearly included for maximum leer value.  Oh right, there’s plenty of gore too.

You have to give Briar Grace-Smith’s screenplay credit for jumping on every third rail it could find.  Likewise, Temuera Morrison embraces the gleeful mayhem wholeheartedly as Hemi Crane.  As Rina, Hanna Tevita keeps her head above water amid all the bedlam, even conveying a measure of sensitive teen alienation.

If you don’t know by now whether this blood-splattered teen lesbian cannibal comedy is your cup of tea or not, I really can’t help you.  For what it’s worth, Mulheron maintains a brisk pace, allowing little time for the wrongness of it all to sink in.  Recommended for anyone out for some good clean fun at the movies, Fresh Meat screens again this Friday (4/26) and Saturday (4/27) as part of this year’s Tribeca Film Festival.