AHITH ’18: Amazon Hot Box

Call us traditionalists, but we don’t see the point in making a jungle women’s prison movie without Sybill Danning, even if it is a spoof. In this case, we are assuming the film in question is intended to be a send-up, but it is hard to tell from the tonal mish-mash. In any event, there is plenty of adult subject matter in James Anthony Bickert’s Amazon Hot Box (trailer here), which screens during the 2018 Another Hole in the Head Film Festival, in San Francisco.

Poor American college student Penny came to fake-sounding Rattica as part of a conservation project, but she was scooped up during the government’s latest crack-down, along with Jade, as revolutionary sex-worker and Ebony, a revolutionary revolutionary (obviously a reference to Ebony, Ivory & Jade). She will be tormented by the Isla-inspired warden, Inga Von Krupp (with her short of stature sidekick) and the sadistic lesbian gang leader Val. As it happens, Penny is not the only one trapped there. Country singer Jett Bryant, playing a fictionalized drug-running meta-version of himself, has been appointed president, but is still very much a captive of the revolutionary government (from the previous revolution).

Man, where’s Roger Corman and Sid Haig when we need them? Maybe someone could make an amusing mash-up of their old Philippines-shot women-in-prison movies, but AHB is way too unfocused and scattershot. There are zombies in here and references to voodoo that really aren’t appropriate, considering Vodun is a real religion.

The biggest problem is AHB never feels like it was made by someone who loves the genre. In contrast, Adam Brooks & Matthew Kennedy’s The Editor (produced by Astron-6, who are not exactly known as guardians of good taste) is a spot-on satire of Italian giallo movies that actually becomes a not half-example of what it is skewering.

Nevertheless, Bryant has some nice moments with Tristan Risk (who also co-starred in The Editor), vamping it up something fierce as Val. Their late scenes together make us wish this film had been totally re-conceived to better feature them.

So, this exists—and it is not very good. AHB is just way too gory, in decidedly not funny ways, to cut it as a comedy. On the other hand, the film does not respect its secret agent and zombie elements enough for it to be a serviceable action or horror movie. However, cult movie fans will probably excuse away its shortcomings, because it wears its influences on its sleeve. Not recommended, Amazon Hot Box screens tomorrow (12/3), as part of this year’s AHITH.

AHITH ’18: Alive

There are really no circumstances that make waking up in a hospital bed a pleasant surprise—especially this hospital. It is like something out of a horror movie. In fact, that is exactly what it is. The unnamed man and woman have no idea who they are or how they got there, but they can tell their [mad] doctor is bad news in Rob Grant’s Alive (trailer here), which screens during the 2018 Another Hole in the Head Film Festival, in San Francisco.

When the man wakes up, he feels terrible and looks even worse. His surroundings do not inspire confidence. It looks like he is being treated in an abandoned hospital with substandard sanitary conditions, as is indeed the case. After a rather ominous meeting with the mystery man in scrubs, he finds out he has a companion: a woman in exactly the same shape.

The male patient immediately suggests they plot their escape, but she is more inclined to obey and placate their dubious caretaker, until he really starts showing his sadistic craziness. However, the captive man also has concerns regarding the flashes of memory he experiences, suggesting he is some sort of thuggish convict. It is especially awkward, because the woman has had flashbacks leading her to believe she was the victim of a violent crime.

Actually, this film is not headed where you might probably be expecting. Not at all. It would be a shame to reveal too much, but hopefully we can get away with saying the seemingly nondescript title is absolutely inspired. Its big secret totally changes the context in which we see the film. Still, there is no getting around how disturbing some of the scenes of flat-out torture and body horror get. This is not a film for a horror movie starter kit. Yet, it is not really (or not just) the pain dished out that is so unsettling. It is the grim, grimy, grossness of the environment. Both the design and practical effects teams deserve considerable credit for making the forsaken hospital such an unnerving place. Frankly, viewers may seek out a tetanus shot after watching Alive.

Angus Macfadyen, the once and future Robert the Bruce (in Braveheart and an upcoming film), is surprisingly scary and altogether chilling as the medical bad guy, very much continuing the cinematic tradition of Peter Cushing’s Hammer movies and Vincent Price in AIP releases. Thomas Cocquerel and Camille Stopps are also completely convincing acting like they are in total fear and abject misery.

Alive might sound like it follows in the Saw-Hostel-New French Extremity tradition, as Charles Hamilton’s grungy cinematography would also suggest, but screenwriters Chuck McCue and Jules Vincent have devised some original and surprising twists. The film also radically alters our perception of Macfadyen (for the better). Recommended for serious horror enthusiasts, Alive screens Sunday night (12/2), as part of this year’s AHITH.

AHITH ’18: Kid Fury—The Phantom Witch (short)

It is safe to say Kid Fury has father issues, but that is not unusual for wandering martial arts heroes. Fortunately, he has a quest to keep him occupied (always healthier than Freudian analysis). Kid Fury is out to recover a mysterious slightly Hellraiser-looking antique box. Word has it, the valuable antique is now in the hands of the titular villain, so that is where he goes in Jino Kang’s short film Kid Fury: The Phantom Witch (trailer here), which screens during the 2018 Another Hole in the Head Film Festival, in San Francisco.

It is tough walking the Earth as a lone warrior. Technically, Kid Fury is homeless, but he has a secret benefactor looking out for him—but maybe the shadowy figure does not really have the Kid’s best interests at heart. At last he knows where he stands with the Witch: in great peril. She might just be too much for the rookie to handle, but he shouldn’t have any problem getting through her henchmen first.

Kid Fury is a seriously grungy film, but in an appealing, vintage Cannon and Golden Harvest sort of way. It is also debatable which it is: the second installment of a short film series or the next episode of a web-series. The narrative is pretty straight-forward (although there will be some third act revelations, as well as lingering business from Kid’s first outing), but the real attraction is the fight choreography. Kang stages some bone-crunching confrontations that action fans will eat up like red meat, served nice and rare.

In fact, Kang is his own best ally, displaying massive skills and steely screen presence as the mysterious Master Huang. As Kid Fury, Timothy Mah has considerable chops as well, but Kang towers over him. It is always entertaining to see a master show-up the arrogance of youth, but Kang has the seasoned steeliness to make it convincing.

Whether it is really a short or a webisode, Kid Fury: The Phantom Witch is just good clean fun. The latest installment totally sells viewers on the concept and the characters, packing all kinds of martial arts goodness into 19 minutes. It looks pretty binge-worthy to us. Highly recommended for action fans, Kid Fury: The Phantom Witch screens Sunday (12/2), as part of AHIITH Short Film Collection III, at this year’s Another Hole in the Head.