Primitive War, from Fathom Events

Somehow, Robert McNamara left this part out of the shameful book he wrote to disavow his responsibility for presiding over the Vietnam War. Of course, it is fictional, because living dinosaurs were never discovered in-country. However, it aptly represents the bad decision-making imposed from above on junior officers, NCO’s, and their squads and platoons, by politicians and senior officers. Fortunately, Vulture Squad has a talent for improvising and an aversion to buck-passing. Consequently, when they discover a top-secret Soviet operation unleashed dinosaurs in Vietnam, they take decisive counter-measures in director-screenwriter Luke Sparke’s Primitive War, which is now playing in theaters, via Fathom Events.

Col. Amadeus Jericho allowed Sgt. Baker to hand pick the “Dirty Dozen”-worthy members of his Vulture Squad, because he knew Baker could get the job done. Thanks to their latest rescue operation, there will be two less missing POW’s. Obviously, their next mission will be dicey, considering Jericho’s caginess regarding the on-the-ground circumstances. Baker’s men are supposed to extract any surviving Green Berets and report any unusual observations. Presumably, the dinosaurs will qualify.

It turns out this is all the Soviets’ fault, particularly Dr. Borodin, the mad scientist whose experiment opened a wormhole, which all the really dangerous dinosaurs stepped through (as well as some of the herbivores, like stegosauruses and brontosauruses). Baker even captures a motivated informant, paleontologist Sophia Atalar, who was recruited by Borodin to study the dinosaurs. Despite his orders, Baker realizes Vulture Squad must stop Borodin’s research by any means necessary. However, to reach the hidden Soviet base, Baker and his men must evade a squad of raptors and a pair of very upset tyrannosaur parents.

It is important to note some of the worst dinosaur effects come in early scenes, so resist snap judgements. As the film progresses, the quality of the dinosaur renderings improves dramatically. In fact, some of the later scenes are shockingly cool. In all likelihood, if Primitive War had released a year before Jurassic Park, it would still be considered legendary.

Regardless, the depictions of warfighting are always viscerally gritty and realistic. There is nothing cartoony about Vulture’s Squad’s recon and rescue business. If anything, depicting the battles and wartime conditions took priority over the dinosaur apocalypse. Yet, the mordantly sly, cynical, and foul-mouthed dialogue rings even truer than the scrupulously realistic blood and muck.

The ensemble cast couldn’t get much grittier either, starting with Ryan Kwanten as steely Sgt. Baker. Arguably, this is his best film work in years. The rest of the squad also looks and acts credibly battle-tested. Sparke does not exactly over-indulge in backstories or character-building, but Carlos Sanson, Nick Wechsler, and Aaron Glenane have sufficient screen presence to differentiate and distinguish their characters.

The Greatest Beer Run Ever, on Apple TV+

Well into the 1950s, the northern Manhattan neighborhood of Inwood was considered the most rural area in the borough. Technically, it could still be. Traditionally, it was also predominantly Irish Catholic. Not surprisingly, the locals took exception to antiwar protesters who casually smeared the troops as “baby killers.” Out of that shared frustration, Chickie Donohue, a peace-time veteran and Merchant Marine, hatched a scheme to deliver beer to his neighborhood friends serving in-country. Much to everyone’s surprise, especially the soldiers in combat, Donohue followed-through. His real-life adventure is now the subject of Peter Farrelly’s The Greatest Beer Run Ever, which premieres today on Apple TV+.

Donohue still lives at home, because he and his mother think it would be a waste to pay rent while he is gone for months at a time with the Merchant Marine (who also have a crucial role to play during times of war). However, that means there are plenty of opportunities for arguments with his anti-war activist sister. During a gripe-session with the “Colonel,” the bartender at their local watering hole, Donohue latches on to a crazy idea to deliver beers to the troops in Vietnam, as a way to express their appreciation. However, it was not a totally unrealistic idea for Donohue, because there happened to be a supply ship leaving for Saigon that still had a vacancy.

With a duffle bag full of Pabst and a list of names and general locations, Donohue sets off, naively heedless of the chaos and danger he would be stepping into. For the sake of dramatic cohesion, Farrelly and co-screenwriters Brian Hayes Currie and Pete Jones compressed Donohue’s months-long mission into a 72-hour pass—over the final days of January, 1968, thereby raising the dramatic stakes, as those who know their history will immediately understand.

Clearly, Farrelly is going for a Good Morning Vietnam vibe, but Greatest Beer Run proves that is easier said than done. It so obvious Farrelly and his co-writers feel duty-bound to criticize the war, without attacking the troops in the way so many New Left protesters did. As a result, the film twists itself into pretzels, not infrequently questioning the motives and integrity of the government and top military brass, while attempting to sympathize with the enlisted men. It almost reaches Jekyll-and-Hyde extremes.

Indeed, Coates, the war correspondent played by Russell Crowe is supposed to be one of the good guys, but his smug moral superiority is absolutely nauseating. Regardless, he cannot help comparing unfavorably with Donohue, whom Zac Efron portrays winning earnestness—and nebbishness, very much contrary to his image. This is definitely some of his best work.

Danger Close: Anzacs in Vietnam

Many people no longer understand America fought the Vietnam War alongside many coalition partners, notably including the South Koreans, who contributed the second most troops after the U.S. Even our Brazilian friends joined to the war effort, albeit on a much smaller scale. Australian and New Zealand were also very much present and accounted for. In fact, they fought like absolute Hell during the Battle of Long Tan. A mere 108 ANZAC soldiers held off over two thousand North Vietnamese. Long Tan comes life in bloody but enormously cinematic fashion in Kriv Stenders’ Danger Close, which opens today in New York.

It is 1966 and at first blush, the Anzacs look like the sort of good-natured mates and blokes we expect from Aus and NZ. However, it is quickly apparent that does not describe Maj. Harry Smith. The former commando drives his men hard—maybe too hard—but the discipline he instills gives them the best chance of surviving the war. At least that is what his lieutenants thought until they were dispatched to the overgrown Long Tan rubber plantation.

Intelligence suggested there was maybe a platoon or two in the area. Unfortunately, it quickly becomes apparent Smith’s divided forces have been flanked by at least a battalion and perhaps a full regiment. Yet, instead of retreating (as per orders), Smith regroups and reunites his men and digs in to hold off the North Vietnamese. It will be rough for everyone.