Terri Blackstock’s If I Run, on Lifetime

Dr. Richard Kimble had to have a lot of faith to keep chasing the one-armed man week after week on The Fugitive. Casey Cox has little faith, at least not the religious kind, but she finds herself in a similar position. However, as she scrambles to clear her name, she slowly starts to absorb the faith of unexpected allies in Michael M. Scott’s Terri Blackstock’s If I Run, based on Blackstock’s Evangelical novel, which premieres tonight on Lifetime.

When Cox stumbles across the body of her best (but to her, platonic) friend Brent Pace, she immediately goes on the lam. She knows it makes her look guilty, but she suspects crooked cops were involved. Pace had been investigating the unjust corruption allegations that ruined her late policeman father’s career. Supposedly, he had uncovered damning evidence. Consequently, Cox cannot trust anyone in law enforcement.

However, she might be able to trust Dylan Roberts, but she does not know that yet. Ironically, Roberts is not yet a member of the Shreveport police department, but Det. Gordon Keegan enlists the Afghanistan veteran as an outside investigator, as sort of an audition, to track down Cox. Roberts happened to be the late Pace’s best friend in high school, so the bereaved family trusts him. Roberts would indeed make a fine lawman, but he still struggles with his untreated PTSD.

Yet, despite his nightmarish memories, Roberts still maintains his faith. So does Miss Lucy, an older woman Cox meets on the bus to Atlanta, even though her beloved granddaughter Laura remains missing for well over one year. Indeed, Miss Lucy turns out be a godsend, because she offers “Grace Newland” (a.k.a. Cox) a place to stay, without any inconvenient background checks.

While Roberts investigates Cox’s case, Cox inadvertently finds herself looking into Laura’s disappearance. Cox makes much quicker progress, but there isn’t much she can do about it, given her circumstances. That might seem like a contrived plot twist, but Scott (a Lifetime movie veteran) keeps the film largely grounded and believable. When the Evangelical themes emerge, they do so in credible ways, related to the characters’ travails and their resilience dealing with them. They are noticeable, but they are not cringe-inducing (assuming you are relatively accepting of Christian themes, in the first place). The film also leans into its Red State roots, taking the action from Shreveport to Durant, Oklahoma, and then down to Atlanta.

I Will Survive: The Gloria Gaynor Story, on Lifetime

She won the first and only Grammy for best disco song in 1979. The following year, disco died and so did the award category. Yet, her hit was a fitting winner, because it might be the most enduring disco recording of all time. If you go to a wedding, party, or club tonight, there is a strong chance you will hear the DJ spin it. She endured hard times to, but, yes, she survived to see her story become a Lifetime movie, Alicia K. Harris’s I Will Survive: The Gloria Gaynor Story, “Presented by Robin Roberts,” which premieres tonight on the network.

Gaynor’s mother had an unshakable faith that helped sustain the future super-star and her younger sister Irma, after their matriarch’s untimely death. Music was always the way she earned their keep, but her first real (but admittedly crooked manager) guided her to her breakout hit record, an early disco cover of “Never Can Say Goodbye.” Unfortunately, she had to leave her Jersey band behind.

Eventually, she leaves her exploitative manager too, but she replaces him with her future husband, Linwood Simon, who presumably did not cooperate with this production. To be fair, he helps Gaynor’s comeback, as she recovers from an on-stage accident. Her new label wanted her for a tune she did not dig, but she insisted on the B-side: “I Will Survive.” Obviously, it soon became the A-side.

It was a great year, but success changes Gaynor’s manager-husband. He books grinding tours, while making dubious career decisions on her behalf. He also seems a little too familiar with the temptations found on the party scene.

It is rather frustrating how closely Gaynor’s biography parallels those of other musical greats. Indeed, there are considerable similarities with Can You Feel the Beat: The Lisa Lisa Story, including bad management, the wrong man, and serious health challenges, but I Will Survive is a much better-looking production. It also appeals to both disco and gospel listeners, giving substantial time to the uplifting direction she took late in her career.

Can You Feel the Beat: The Lisa Lisa Story, on Lifetime

Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam had more chart-toppers than some Gen X’ers might remember from MTV, because many times they scored “club hits” that landed on the “Dance” list. Regardless, the two mega-hits you’re sure to know, were huge, “Head to Toe” and “Lost in Emotion,” both of which went all the way to #1. They also had a song on the Caddyshack II soundtrack, but that “honor” is overlooked during this bio-drama. Lisa (Lisa) Velez tells her story and portrays her mother in Tailiah Breon’s Can You Feel the Beat: The Lisa Lisa Story, which premieres tonight on Lifetime.

Velez’s family struggled with an abusive father and past-due bills, but she had a crazy dream of singing to provide for her family. Through the club scene, Velez meets and auditions for a duo, Mike Hughes and Alex “Spanador” Mosseley, who are looking for a vocalist. The three click and their somewhat shady manager, Rocco approves of her look and sound.

Soon, they sign with a major label, which remains unidentified throughout the TV-movie, where they work with/for/under the even shadier A&R guy, Barry Conner. Technically, Velez’s mother had to sign on her behalf, since she was only fifteen at the time. Of course, that does not stop Rocco and Conner from creeping on her. Fortunately, they hire street-smart Toni Menage as a back-up singer (she would be so closely associated with Velez and Cult Jam, many fans consider her a member of the band).

Eventually, everyone figures out their contract stinks, but at that point Velez suffers a double blow when she is diagnosed with cancer. However, she cannot take time off for treatment, because she already took advances from the label to pay-off her family’s debts.

This is definitely the Lisa Lisa story rather than the Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam story. In fact, Hughes and Mosseley might not always be thrilled by the way they are portrayed—or the fact Menage gets considerably more camera time than they do.

Regardless, Can You Feel the Beat feels very familiar. It also looks conspicuously cheap. This is not a very convincing 1980s period production, not just because of budget limitations. Frankly, Breon and screenwriter Rebecca Murga should have leaned more heavily into 80’s nostalgia. Ed Lover’s appearance as himself might be the best this film does in that respect. Probably, a lot of names were changed and many composites were created for legal reasons, but that means it never comes close to recreating the MTV/Z100 vibe.

As Velez/Lisa, Jearnest Corchado never really looks like a teenager, but she is earnest and relatively convincing during the musical performances. Velez herself gives a heartfelt performance as her mom. Yet, Bre-Z is by far the standout for her tough but vulnerable portrayal of Menage.

Danger in the Dorm, on Lifetime

Colleges and universities have refused to take disciplinary action against students threatening their Jewish classmates and calling for the genocide of the Israeli people. So, why should we be shocked if they try to sweep a murder under the rug? Indeed, transparency of campus crimes has been an issue for years. It inspired Ann Rule’s first “story,” which in turn “inspired” the latest Lifetime original movie. Given the multiple disclaimers, viewers should consider Robin Hays’s Danger in the Dorm fiction rather than true crime when it premieres Sunday on Lifetime.

Kathleen Robets and her best friend Becky Swafford are incoming freshmen at a large university that is absolutely not Oregon State—at least not anymore. Roberts is the independent one and Swafford is the clingy one. Frankly, Roberts was feeling like Swafford was a little too clingy for college, so she moved into a single dorm room. As a result, Roberts is crushed with guilt when a masked assailant murders Swafford in her room.

However, neither the administration or the cops will use the “m” word. Instead, they issue statements claiming it was an isolated incident. Then the unknown perp attacks another coed, who survives, but is left coma-bound. At this point, Roberts and her resident advisor Sarah, start taking matters into their own hands. Defying corrupt Dean Carrigan and compliant Det. Harken, they start publicizing the brutal truth of the attacks, while distributing whistles and pepper spray. Wade Mullins, the frat boy wooing Roberts tries to be supportive, but his bro Conor Miller is suspiciously creepy—maybe too obviously so.

Throughout it all, Roberts is reluctant to return her mother Joanne’s calls, even though a psycho is literally stalking her campus. “Fortunately,” she only lives one hour away, so she can easily make unannounced visits.

Reality TV “star” Bethenny Frankel as Joanne, the high-strung mom, kind of makes sense, right? She might have been cast for her celebrity status, but she does the best work in this TV movie. (Frankel already has a half-dozen dramatic credits and originally pursued an acting career, so there you go, I guess.)

Amongst the skulls full of mush, Michelle Creber most stands out, in the right way, as RA Sarah. However, the killer’s over the top twitchiness insults viewers’ intelligence. In general, the cast does not inspire much confidence in the younger generation.

Hunting Housewives, on Lifetime

This is not The Most Dangerous Game. These women will not be hunted for sport. They are not the subjects of a contest produced for the pleasure of dark-web viewers either, although Karla Dodds’ husband will rely on techniques he developed as a reality TV producer. He simply wants to kill her and he assumes the husbands of her three friends feel the same way in Marco Deufemia’s Hunting Housewives, which premieres tomorrow night on Lifetime.

Dodds and her three besties, Joli Symons, Sharrell Bouvier, and Rebel Carron-Whitman think they are being whisked away for a weekend getaway at an exclusive, unlisted spa. Instead, her husband paid the pilot to crash their private plane and then hunt down the survivors. He can’t shoot straight, but he can down the plane exactly in the remote area of forest where the arrogantly entitled and menacingly manipulative Mark Dodds set up all his surveillance cameras.

Then the creepy TV guy invites the other three husbands over to watch the drama unfold live, in his man-cave. Evan Whitman is so shocked and violently outraged, Dodds is forced to lock him in the panic room. Andre Bouvier and Jared Symons are also shocked, but they stifle their outrage, so Dodds will not draw his gun on them as well.

Hunting Housewives is no Hard Target or The Hunt. It isn’t even Hunted. Frankly, it doesn’t even fit in the “people-hunting-people” sub-sun-genre. Despite Mark Dodds’ voyeuristic glee, this master plan is not about sport. It is simply a ridiculously overcomplicated murder scheme, probably more befitting a supervillain wearing tights. Seriously, you would think there would be an easier way to go about it.

Of course, we could roll with a dubious premise, if it came with solid action or suspense, but Hunting Housewives has too many execution issues, starting with the fact nobody can even hold a gun in a competent, credible manner. For Denise Richards, this is a step back from credible VOD action work in Altitude (not a great movie, but she helped elevate it).

Richards still delivers all the housewives’s best lines with appropriate attitude. Yet, most of the relatively limited entertainment comes from Mark Ghanime snarling his way through the unlikely scheme. Along with Richards, Kym Johnson Herjavec, Melyssa Ford, and NeNe Leakes serve up plenty of reality-TV-worthy rich housewife sass, which is probably what the target audience is looking for, but that is about it.

Ladies of the ‘80s: A Divas Christmas, on Lifetime

The 1980's were a golden age for trashy entertainment. Folks were self-aware about it too. Nobody thought Dallas or Dynasty were prestige television. That’s why people watched them. It was all about the scheming and the cat fights. Nobody wanted to see Larry Hagman or Joan Collins discover the true meaning of Christmas. However, that is what happens for five veteran soap opera actresses in Ladies of the ‘80s: a Divas Christmas, directed by Christie Will Wolf, which premieres tomorrow on Lifetime.

In the 1980s, The Great Lakes was a soap opera sensation. It was recently canceled, but a child actor from its salad days successfully pitched the network a reunion Christmas special, for his first grown-up producing gig. To direct, he recruited his almost college girlfriend. They should have been perfect together, because they are so painfully bland, but incredibly contrived and unconvincing circumstances kept them apart.

Initially, two of the feuding divas threaten to cancel the special, but when they realize these two mixed-up kids need a little help getting back together, they agree to forget their differences, so they can all play cupid. Unfortunately, there is not much more to it than that—and none of it is very Christmasy.

The cleverest thing about Ladies of the ‘80s are the characters names, which refer to the famous real-life TV stars’ best-known roles. Loni Anderson plays Lily Marlowe, in reference to Jennifer Marlowe, the bombshell receptionist on WKRP. (She is a bit of an exception in this cast of primetime soap stars, but Anderson did have a three-episode arc on Melrose Place, so maybe she got to pull Heather Locklear’s hair.) Linda Grey plays Lauren Ewing, an obvious Dallas reference. Plus, her husband is played by Christopher Atkins (The Blue Lagoon and The Pirate Movie), who also played Sue Ellen Ewing’s one-time lover.

Knotts Landing is well-represented by both Donna Mills as Dana Cunningham and Nicolette Sheridan as Juliette Matheson. Morgan Fairchild rounds out the divas as Margaux Roberts, which refers back to her Knotts Landing stint. That’s all kind of clever and it really is fitting to have 1980s pop-star Tiffany sing the theme song. Unfortunately, that is about the extent of the Eighties nostalgia, which is, like, totally disappointing.

Murdaugh Murders: The Movie, on Lifetime

Alex Murdaugh's family had been political power brokers in South Carolina when it was part of the solid Democratic South. They still maintained their influence when the state turned red through their money (fundraising for Biden and Hillary Clinton) and wheeling-dealing legal practice. However, Alex (or Alec) Murdaugh destroyed the family reputation by committing a host of crimes, including (but not limited to) murder. The whole true-crime scandal unfolds in the two-part Murdaugh Murders: The Movie, which premieres tomorrow on Lifetime.

Even though it consists of two installments, Lifetime is calling Murdaugh Murders its 500^th original movie. That is a lot of cheating wives and dentists stalking their patients. A sleazebag like Murdaugh is comfortably fits in their power zone. Of course, he is universally respected when the film starts, as the heir to a dynastic Low Country law firm. However, his son’s legal troubles will ignite his spectacular fall from grace.

Eventually, Murdaugh will be tried for the murder of his wife Maggie and son Paul, but writer Michael Vickerman and director Greg Beeman do not make the latter’s death look like any great loss to society. Thanks to a drunken boating accident, Paul Murdaugh was facing criminal and civil proceedings. Inconveniently, the Murdaugh finances were already precarious, due to Alex/Alec’s mismanagement, so he started stealing his clients’ settlements. He did not merely skim a little extra off the top. He redirected the whole darned payout to accounts he controlled. He also maybe murdered the family’s longtime housekeeper.

Murdaugh’s motives for gunning down his wife and son remain a little vague, but it is clear he was cracking from the combined pressures, also including an increasingly angry unpaid Oxy dealer. Regardless, there is no ambiguity regarding Murdaugh’s guilt, largely due to Bill Pullman’s wildly jittery meltdowns as the sociopathic Murdaugh.

Pullman’s certainly follows Lifetime’s melodramatic style sheet, starting with his weirdly reedy mint julep-and-pimento cheese accent, which slips and slides all over the place. Be that as it may, Pullman’s twitchy showmanship is entertaining. Lauren K. Robek is credibly down-to-earth as Maggie Murdaugh, but Curtis Tweedle is absolutely charmless as the entitled Paul.

Frankly, #500 could have used a strong nemesis to play off Murdaugh, but the cops, FBI agents, and prosecutors are all disappointingly generic. Besides Pullman, only Serge Houde leaves any appreciable impression, as the understated but shrewd defense attorney, Jim Griffin.

“V.C. Andrews’” Dawn, on Lifetime

V.C. Andrews never gets mentioned as an example of “Southern writers,” but she certainly was one. You know her Southern gothic tales of incest would have amused Tennessee Williams (but he surely would have found them trashy, just the same). She wouldn’t have recognized much in her latest Lifetime miniseries, because it was the first posthumous series entirely written by the estate’s mostly-transparent ghostwriter Andrew Neiderman, but the themes and style are highly Andrewsian. Get ready for some sibling awkwardness when V.C. Andrews’ Dawn premieres tonight on Lifetime.

Dawn Longchamp’s family moves so much, you would almost think her father is a wanted man. Well, as a matter of fact… Ormand Longchamp risked returning to Richmond, because as an elite prep school’s new handyman, his children, Dawn and her emotionally supportive (perhaps to an unusual extent) brother Jimmy could attend for free. Unfortunately, Dawn makes an enemy of the school’s queen bee, Clara Jean Cutler, when she outshines the mean girl’s singing talents.

Sadly, tragedy soon strikes the Longchamp family twice, when her mom dies and her father is arrested in the hospital. It turns out he was wanted for kidnapping Dawn from the well-heeled Cutler family. She was known as Eugenia Cutler then. Not surprisingly, Clara Jean is less than thrilled to suddenly have her as a sister. Her new “parents” try to make nice, but they are mostly useless. The real power in the Cutler family is her new grandmother, Lillian Cutler, whose abusive behavior rivals that of Cinderella’s wicked step-mother. It is also super creepy to be around her new brother Philip, the school cad, who was trying to put the moves on her before they knew they were related. On the plus side, Jimmy Longchamp is now fair game.

Seriously, what were you expecting? The good news is Brec Bassinger (Arrowverse’s Stargirl) is probably the best of Lifetime’s recent V.C. Andrews heroines. She brings a sympathetic presence to the first two feature-length installments (“Dawn” and “Secrets of the Morning”) provided for review. On the other hand, Linda-Lisa Hayter’s helming is disappointingly pedestrian. In fact, “Secrets of the Morning,” which focuses on Dawn now-Cutler’s studies in New York, largely feels like an old-fashioned coed drama, losing its Southern gothic flavor until the final twenty minutes.

12 Desperate Hours, on Lifetime

Ann Rule fans might not recognize this title. It is drawn from her true crime collection Last Dance, Last Chance, but it is not the novella about the nefarious plastic surgeon that had the lion share of the page-count. Instead, it is one of two shorter pieces chronicling the crimes of parolees, who in retrospect, never should have been released. Denny Tuohmy definitely poses a danger to Val Jane and her two young sons when he takes them hostage in Gina Gershon’s 12 Desperate Hours, which premieres tomorrow night on Lifetime.

Val and Mark Jane have a nice suburban home, but money has been tight and their marriage is maybe getting a little stale. Then one morning, after he already left for work, she answers the door to find a sawed-off shotgun pointed in her face. At first, Tuohmy wants to wait for Jane to come home, so he can carjack him, but the worried mother convinces him to take her and her mom-SUV instead.

With Mother Jane as his chauffeur, hostage, and reluctant accomplice, Tuohmy sets out looking for the ex-girlfriend he is convinced still loves him. Their first fateful stop will be her mother’s house, who tells Tuohmy exactly what she thinks of him, in brutally honest terms. This could be a mistake.

Despite the Ann Rule brand, 12 Desperate Hours is pretty standard TV-movie stuff, starting with the flat, pedestrian direction from Gershon, the Showgirls thesp. However, she has a bit of a fresh take on the familiar hostage scenario. While Val never develops a full case of Stockholm syndrome, she had some sympathy for her captor—enough to try to broker a peaceful solution to their drama.

Reba McEntire’s the Hammer, on Lifetime

She mostly lives out of her truck, like Frances McDormand in Nomadland, but she can send people to jail with the bang of a gavel. Kim Wheeler is one of the last traveling circuit court judges in America, who has just been appointed to dispense justice in a network of remote rural Nevada communities. Unfortunately, her predecessor met a rather untimely death. Since Wheeler is probably even more principled when it comes to applying the law, she inevitably becomes a target too in Reba McEntire’s the Hammer, which premieres tomorrow night on Lifetime.

Technically, Wheeler should have been nick-named “The Gavel.” Regardless, she did indeed go viral when she knocked a crazed defendant cold when he charged the bench on her first day. Apparently, the nomad lifestyle suits her fine, since she never wants to stay in proper motel rooms when traveling the circuit with her bailiff.

Awkwardly, her predecessor died in the trailer park bordello owned by her mildly estranged sister, Kris. Now that she is back in the area, Wheeler tries to patch things up with her, but it is probably too late for her dementia-plagued father, especially since the judge has yet to forgive him for abusing her as a child. Frankly, the abuse-themed sub-plot rather clashes with the TV movie’s generally light-hearted sassy tone.

The biggest case on Wheeler’s docket is the negligent homicide charge lodged against tech entrepreneur Bart Crawford’s surly and entitled son. The late judge refused him bail and Wheeler declines to over-turn his judgement. That definitely makes Crawford a prime suspect, but the judge still finds him strangely fun to drink with.

Indeed, somewhat logically, the best scenes showcase the chemistry between McEntire and her real-life off-screen partner Rex Linn (who recurred on CSI: Miami and co-starred in the Oscar-worthy Zombeavers), as Wheeler and Crawford. This is not exactly the most complex screenplay ever filmed, but the uncertain direction of their relationship is entertaining to watch.

The Bad Seed Returns, on Lifetime

Mervyn LeRoy's The Bad Seed was like the “A24 Elevated Horror” of 1956. Based on Maxwell Anderson’s stage adaptation of William March’s novel, LeRoy’s Oscar-nominated film has inspired thousands of knock-offs, but it never spawned a proper series—only a pair of made-for-TV remakes. However, Lifetime finally takes a stab at franchising the killer moppet with a sequel to its 2015 original movie. Emma Grossman has grown into a seemingly healthy teenager, but she is still a stone-cold psychopath in The Bad Seed Returns, directed by Louise Archambault, which premieres Monday on the network.

Grossman is obviously a high-functioning sociopath, because she has managed to ingratiate herself with the cliquey girls of her high school dance team. You wouldn’t want to run against her for team captain though. Accidents still seem to befall people who stand in her way.

Fortunately, Grossman still seems to like have her Aunt Angela around, but she is not so crazy about her Uncle Robert and their infant son. Having posed as the victim of a crazy father in the prior film, Grossman has milked the resulting sympathy for all its worth. She still has Dr. March (played by the Patty McCormack, the original “Bad Seed” in the 1956 classic) snowed in their video sessions (or she just summons her as a mental sounding board). However, Kat Sandberg is not fooled by her. Grossman doesn’t recognize her initially, but they used to go to the same school—back when all those bad things happened.

This Bad Seed sequel is not a classic by any stretch, but it is still probably one of Lifetime’s better originals of recent vintage. Archambault, who has several festival-selected films to her credit, creates some competent cat-and-mouse tension, while the script (co-written by lead thesp Mckenna Grace, Ross Burge and Barbara Marshall) rather subversively inserts the “Bad Seed” into a 9120-ish setting. The chaos that results is certainly diverting. It also helps that neither of her foster parents are completely stupid, since they both start to suspect something while substantial time is left in the film.

Flowers in the Attic: The Origin, on Lifetime

V.C. Andrews has released far more books after her death than while she was alive. A lot of writers have had their franchises live on through ghostwriters, but in her case, the ratio of posthumous to living is not even close. That is why Garden of Shadows, the prequel to Flowers in the Attic is kind of “special.” It released in 1987, relatively soon after her 1986 death, so fans hoped Andrews herself had some direct involvement with it. In any event, it was a return to her most popular series, explaining where her beloved and despised characters came from. Of course, the Foxworth/Dollanger clan came from their own biological family members, as any V.C. Andrews fan knows. Things are as gothic and incestuous as ever in the four feature-length episodes of Flowers in the Attic: The Origin, which premieres tomorrow on Lifetime.

Olivia Winfield will eventually become the mean grandmother Louise Fletcher played in the 1987 Flowers in the Attic movie everybody hates, especially fans. As the mini-series opens, Winfield is her father’s quirky, independent daughter and also his shrewd business partner. However, Malcolm Foxworth quickly sweeps her off her feet and whisks her away to his Southern Gothic mansion. Unfortunately, as soon as they are married, he reveals his true violent, domineering colors. He also seems to have weird issues regarding his beautiful late mother—naturally.

Foxworth the man is a heartless tyrant and Foxworth the Manor is an evil place. However, the untimely death of her father leaves Olivia stuck with both. As a result, she will do her best to protect her sons Mal Jr. and Joel, along with Corrine, the daughter Malcolm conceived when he attacked his late father’s much younger wife, Alicia, whom the Foxworths raise as their own. Of course, Corrine is the only one Malcolm Sr. cares about, a little too much.

And from there, things really start to get scandalous. In a way, you have to give Lifetime credit, because they have always leaned into what attracted fans to the books in the first place. (It is also frustrating to think Wes Craven might have directed the 1987 movie, but the faithfulness of his approach got him cut from the project.)  Regardless, Origin is over-stuffed with inappropriate relationships, thereby staying reasonably faithful to Garden of Shadows.

Arguably, Origin is not exactly horror, but it still counts as gothic. Foxworth Manor is nearly atmospheric as Collinwood and it is definitely less healthy. The miniseries is just as shamelessly melodramatic and emotionally overwrought as fans will expect, but it is somewhat less cheesy than some of Lifetime’s previous non-Dollanger V.C. Andrews adaptations, like My Sweet Audrina and Ruby, which often collapsed into self-parody. At least this time around directors Declan O’Dwyer and Robin Sheppard maintain some kind of control over the material.

Line Sisters, on Lifetime

In a twist, it is the hazer who is killed during four friends’ sorority initiation accident rather than the pledges. Regardless, the same laws of class reunion retribution still apply. When they get together for their alma mater’s Greek week homecoming festivities, a masked psycho looks to deliver some payback in Tailiah Breon’s Line Sisters, which premieres tomorrow on Lifetime.

Being accepted by the historically-black sorority ABO really meant something to Valerie, Dominique, Cassandra, and Simona. That is why they decide to do things right and complete the risky traditional initiation swim their pledge trainer wanted to waive. Presumably, this decision will not make much sense to anyone who went through Greek pledging, but whatever. The long and the short of it is the pledges made it across, but not Big Sister Jody. Oh, but of course, there must be more to the story.

Fifteen years later, the four reunite for a week of nostalgic partying on North Carolina’s Outer Banks. Technically, they thought it would just be three of them, but the estranged Simona seems to think Valerie invited her too. As soon as they arrive at their “plantation house” rental, someone starts playing some cruel pranks on them. However, this homicidal stalker has a case of stage fright, because it takes over an hour for our unknown subject to final chalk up a kill.

Granted, Line Sisters cannot go full-on slasher when it is intended for commercial broadcast, but you need a few bodies to approximate some level of And Then There Were None-style suspense. Unfortunately, the tension just isn’t high enough and the stakes feel too low, until first blood is finally drawn. The killer’s secret identity is also glaringly obvious to anyone who doesn’t sleep through the first ten minutes.

Mahalia, “Presented” by Robin Roberts, on Lifetime

She closed the show at the 1958 Newport Jazz Festival and continues to bring down the house whenever Bert Stern’s Jazz on a Summer’s Day is screened. The performing arts center in Louis Armstrong Park is named in her honor. That was appropriate, because even though she was a gospel singer, there was still a lot of NOLA soul in her voice. The legendary performer gets the bio-film treatment with the awkwardly titled Robin Roberts Presents: Mahalia (seriously, her name comes before Jackson’s), directed by Kenny Leon, which premieres this Saturday on Lifetime.

As a young child, Jackson’s strict aunt scares her off from joyously singing along with the likes of Bessie Smith and Ma Rainey—and she would hew to the gospel straight-and-narrow for the rest of her life (more or less). It took fame a while to catch up with Jackson, because she did not seek it like secular performers. She also had a questionable first husband, but when Studs Terkel played her debut on Apollo, the indie specialty label, things started happening. During most of that time, Mildred Falls was right there with her, dutifully accompanying Jackson on piano.

Rather oddly, RRP: Mahalia closes with the disclosure the Jackson estate did not cooperate with the film’s production. It is hard to see what they might object to. The screenplay, co-written by the late Bettina Gilois and Todd Kreidler is entirely respectful. Sure, Jackson is sometimes depicted making mistakes and getting a little lost, but humanity is flawed by its nature, right?

Regardless, Danielle Brooks does quite well in the iconic lead role. The Tony-nominee for The Color Purple has a big voice and bears a strong likeness to Jackson. She also nicely projects her faith and dignity. Rob Demery is similarly credible playing (and humanizing) another iconic figure, Jackson’s friend and spiritual advisor, Dr. Martin Luther King. In fact, they have two scenes together directly addressing the struggles of faith that are smarter and more honest than just about any depiction of religion in film you could think of.

Like her character, Olivia Washington is often shunted over to the corner portraying Falls, but at least her presence gives viewers an appreciation for her playing (someone like Chess Records really should have signed her as an instrumental soloist). However, Jim Thorburn adds some sly energy as Terkel.

“V.C. Andrews’” Ruby

How much is a name worth? In the case of gothic children-in-jeopardy novelist V.C. Andrews, the I.R.S. determined her name was worth $1.2 million. That came as quite a surprise to her estate, but they got their tax liabilities’ worth by releasing dozens of subsequent ghost-written novels under her million-dollar moniker. The Landry novels were amongst them. They were totally the work of Andrew Neiderman (previously known as the author of The Devil’s Advocate), whereas Andrews’ involvement was literally in name only. Fans never seemed to mind, so Lifetime has continued their Andrews program with Ruby, the first of four Landry TV movies, which premieres tomorrow on the network.

Within the first twelve minutes of Ruby, the sensitive title character learns Paul Tate, her high school love, is actually her secret brother and she has a well-heeled twin sister in New Orleans, who was whisked away by their tomcatting father to placate his barren and snobby wife. So yes, Ruby is totally on-brand. After the death of her beloved Grandmere, Landry’s drunken Grandpere tries to sell her chastity to an old bayou perv, so she runs off to NOLA to find the father she never knew.

Guilt-ridden Pierre Dumas is thrilled to welcome her into the family, but Ruby’s new twin sister Giselle and “mother” Daphne are somewhat less than overjoyed. Frankly, they are both real pills. Nevertheless, Ruby Dumas will do her best to navigate her new life of family secrets, crazy relatives, and voodoo.

Admittedly, Ruby is only getting started with the Landry/Dumas saga, but we have already seen enough. The melodrama is cheesy and the performances verge on self-parody. Honestly, it is hard to imagine sitting through more. Maybe, we’ll try the final film too, Hidden Jewel, to cover the quartet high school style—just the beginning and the end—but no promises.

Ten: Murder Island, or Ten Little Teens

By some measures, Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None is the seventh best-selling novel of all time. Therefore, you can’t blame filmmakers for coming back to it, even though René Clair’s 1945 film is pretty definitive. Both Mario Bava and the Detective Conan anime franchise memorably riffed on it. In the latter case, the basic structure was adapted to a high school setting well before Gretchen McNeil’s teen novel. There are infinitely superior And Then There Were Nones, but it is strangely satisfying to watch the obnoxious teens get slaughtered in Chris Robert’s Ten: Murder Island (trailer here), based on McNeil's novel (and Christie's, by extension), which premieres on Lifetime this Saturday.

How many guests do you suppose were lured to a party on a remote island? In this case, they are students from three rival high schools, all of which Claire briefly attended before her untimely suicide. Instead of U.N. Owen, they thought they were invited by one of the most popular girls in their overlapping social circles, but it is quickly apparent they have been had.

Since there is no direct accusation, the shallow, entitled kids will have to figure out their situation on their own. Naturally, suspicion quickly falls on earnest Meg, because she is probably the slightest of stature of the whole bunch. She also happens to have the highest capacity for empathy and deductive reasoning. As a result, the killer leaves her illuminating pages ripped from poor Claire’s diary after each murder. The unknown subject also keeps a more conspicuous tally in red paint for the other idiots on the island.

As you would expect from millennials, all ten guests are dumber than a bag of hammers and none of them has read And Then There Were None. At least China Anne McClain is generally likable and sympathetic as Meg. Within the ensemble, Annie Q (who was terrific in Cardinal X) is the most likely to break out big. This won’t be the film to do it, but the catty edge she brings as rebound girlfriend Kumiko helps make the film watchable. Katya Martin is also quite effective as the bullied Claire in flashback scenes. Alas, the rest of the ensemble is either blandly forgettable or prone to excessive overacting or just plain dead before we can make a fair evaluation.

Christie’s basic premise is so insidiously compelling, it takes perverse effort to screw it up. Clair’s version is a classic and 1965’s Ten Little Indians with Shirley Eaton and the voice of Christopher Lee on the gramophone is nearly as good. The 1974 desert-bound incarnation with Oliver Reed and Charles Aznavour also holds up nicely. Even a 1959 TV production with Nina Foch has some merit. They are all better than Ten: Murder Island.

These kids’ lack of intuition and survival skills is just too problematic. However, Robert doesn’t go down without a fight, offering up some nifty aerial shots to distract us. What it really needs is more caustic attitude and ironic humor in the Scream tradition. Disappointing, yet weirdly difficult to turn away from, Ten: Murder Island airs this Saturday (9/16) on Lifetime.

Suite Française: American Viewers Finally Get to See the Irene Nemorivsky Film

Irène Némirovsky was an international bestseller in her own lifetime, but today she is best known for an unfinished posthumous publication. Of Russian-Jewish heritage, Némirovsky was denied citizenship by France and ultimately deported to Auschwitz, despite her fame and status as a Catholic convert and political conservative. Her tragic fate echoes throughout the pages of the incomplete novella sequence belatedly published in 2004. Ironically, the film adaptation has had a circuitous fate as well. Two years after Saul Dibb’s Suite Française (trailer here) opened throughout most of Europe, the Weinstein production finally bows this Monday on Lifetime.

Dibb and co-screenwriter solely adapted Dolce, the second novella set in the provincial village of Bussy, but if viewers want to get a sense of the “French Exodus” depicted in Tempête en Juin, they can check out Christian Carion’s admirable Come What May. Lucille Angellier and her stern mother-in-law Madame Angellier are surprised by the sudden arrival of domestic war migrants from the cities, but the property-holding Madame quickly moves to exploit it. The next wave of visitors are even more disruptive. Those would be the occupying National Socialist military forces.

Like every large household, the Angelliers are forced to quarter a German officer. In their case, they are relatively fortunate to host Commander Bruno van Falk, a music composer somewhat suspect among his comrades for his perceived lack of enthusiasm for their Nazi business. However, as the heretofore loyal wife develops an ambiguous friendship with her boarder, it leads to friction with her suspicious mother-in-law and their resentful neighbors. Yet, their sort of affair will give the younger Madame Angellier cover for sheltering a rebellious fugitive.

Frankly, it is utterly baffling how an adaptation of a legit bestseller related to the Holocaust starring Michelle Williams, Kirstin Scott Thomas, and a pre-Wolf of Wall Street Margot Robbie in a small supporting role could be shelved for so long. If the Weinstein Company were publicly traded, we’d say dump your stock now, because if they can’t market a film like this, they are in serious trouble.

Granted, Dibb’s Suite is not a likely Oscar contender, but it is solidly presentable. As a point of comparison, Carion’s film is probably half a star better, but solely due to Matthew Rhys’s standout supporting turn, for which there is no equivalent in Suite. Still, Scott Thomas is absolutely pitch-perfect as Madame Angellier, for reasons that ought to be intuitively obvious. Nobody does upper-crust snobbery better than her, but she also makes her redemptive moments exquisitely poignant.

As her daughter-in-law, Michelle Williams is not exactly dazzling in any respect, but she develops some effective chemistry with Matthias Schoenaerts. Robbie actually makes a bit of an impression as Celine, the village trollop, but it is Sam Riley who really lost out from the film’s dithering non-release. He does some of his best, most intense work as Benoit, the resentful tenant farmer itching to join the resistance. On the other hand, it is frustrating to see Claire Holman (the under-recognized X-factor, who made Inspector Lewis such a reliable viewing pleasure) woefully under-utilized as Marthe, the loyal servant.

During a slow week, Suite would have been a valid option in theaters, so it is well worth watching on basic cable. It has high production values and big name cast-members (also including Lambert Wilson, switching from French to English at a moment’s notice and Luther’s Ruth Wilson). Most importantly, it has Scott Thomas, who is just about enough to recommend any film on her own. There is intrigue and romance, but Dibb always treats the macro historical tragedies in a respectful manner. Easily recommended for mainstream audiences, Suite Française premieres (finally) this Monday night (5/22) on Lifetime.

And Then There Were None: U.N. Owen Throws a Dinner Party

The nursery rhyme that inspired Dame Agatha Christie’s greatest bestseller has gone through several politically correct facelifts. Currently, it is ten little soldiers who expire one by one. For years, those soldiers were Indians and we never speak of what they were before that. The story also evolved when Dame Agatha wrote a more upbeat ending for her equally successful theatrical adaptation. Most film versions have followed the stage play, but screenwriter Sarah Phelps went back to the original novel for a new television miniseries commissioned to commemorate the 125^th anniversary of Christie’s birth. In any event, ten stranded house guests will be bumped off in an orderly fashion unless they can figure out who among them is the killer in And Then There Were None (promo here), which premieres this Sunday on Lifetime.

A lot of you already know who the killer is, yet you will watch anyway. Even knowing the big twists, And Then There Were None (a.k.a. Ten Little Indians) continues to fascinate us. It has often been dramatized in film and on-stage and it has been ripped off even more regularly. It is back again and just as welcome, thanks to an ensemble of first-class character actors.

The premise remains unchanged. Ten strangers are lured to “Soldier Island,” an isolated isle with spotty ferry service, under a variety of false pretenses. It turns out their mystery host, “U.N. Owen” (as in unknown) has concluded they have all unjustly escaped punishment for their own capital crimes, so he intends to execute them one by one. His judgment also applies to the servants, who had unknowingly play his prerecorded accusations and thereby launch the murders that will roughly correspond to the nursey rhyme.

Former governess Vera Claythorne still does not seem to belong in the company of killers, such as the unrepentant mercenary, Philip Lombard. At least he readily cops to the crimes attributed to him. Everyone else maintains their innocence, at least until panic and cabin fever start to jog loose the truth.

It all still works. In fact, the Lifetime/BBC version might just surprise a few viewers who only know the Hollywood ending. To be completely honest, the two-part, three-hour running time feels a tad bit padded (the great 1945 and 1965 movies were both just a smidge over ninety minutes). Most of the flashbacks to the ten houseguests’ crimes are wholly unnecessary, but they do build dramatic tension rather effectively in the case of Claythorne.

In any case, the cast pulls viewers through those slow patches and really digs into the meat of Christie’s iconic thriller. Toby Stephens falls to pieces pretty spectacularly as the unnerved Dr. Edward Armstrong. Noah Taylor and Anna Maxwell Martin are suitably twitchy as the butler and cook. Aidan Turner broods and glowers like a champ as Lombard, while Charles Dance portrays Justice Lawrence Wargrave with elegant gravitas and a withering stare. Sam Neill certainly looks the part of Gen. John McArthur, but he gets somewhat shortchanged on screen-time. Maeve Dermody (from Serangoon Road) is relatively okay as Claythorne, but there are times she seems to problematically fade into the background.

There is a reason Christie’s story has been so enduringly popular. In some ways, it taps into some of our unspoken frustrations (especially this one). After The Most Dangerous Game, it established the other great template of the presumably psychotic madman scrupulously following his own set of rules. Well worth seeing, especially for (more or less) incorporating the novel’s arguably superior climax, And Then There Were None begins this Sunday (3/13) and concludes the following Monday (3/14) on Lifetime.

My Sweet Audrina: More V.C. Andrews on Lifetime

When it comes to the publishing industry, nobody has disillusioned as many readers as the V.C. Andrews estate. Take My Sweet Audrina. For years, it was known as one of her few stand-alones, but she will finally release a sequel this summer—almost thirty years after her death. Everyone understands it wasn’t spectral writing that generated her last sixty-some books. That’s how it goes when something works. Apparently, V.C. Andrews television movies have also been working for Lifetime. This time, they have adapted her number one bestseller, My Sweet Audrina (trailer here), which premieres on the network this Saturday.

Believe it or not, Audrina Adare has had a really messed up childhood. She is actually the second Audrina Adare. The first was her late older sister, who brutally raped and murdered in the woods outside the stately Adare manor, Whitefern. Audrina II was named after her, and groomed to take her place. Good luck with that baggage.

Still grieving Audrina I, Damien and Lucietta Adare tightly control Audrina II’s life, forbidding her to step outside by herself. She never attends school and boys, like the obviously interested caretaker’s son Arden Lowe are absolutely out of the question. Yet, somehow they are never around when Audrina II is bullied by her cousin Vera, who apparently thinks she is Audrina II’s step-sister, so she probably is, this being based on a V.C. Andrews novel. For some reason, Vera and her mother, Lucietta’s sister Elisabeth live with them in Whitefern. That Vera will be tough to get rid of, even after her mother takes a tumble down the grand staircase. Indeed, it will be quite a dangerous architectural feature of Whitefern.

Look, at least Audrina II and Lowe are not brother and sister—that’s not even a spoiler, per se. All things considered, the Adares are pretty healthy in comparison to other V.C. Andrews families. Audrina II will even start to grow up and assert herself before shocking and scandalous stuff starts happening again.

My Sweet Audrina is laughable in obvious ways, but it is still a fairly competent production. It is just impossible to take this luridly purple YA hothouse tale and transform it into the Magnificent Ambersons. Still, there are weird distracting elements, like the wealthy Damien Adare, who will decide to renovate Whitefern on a whim, but cannot afford a Bic razor. Also, Vera seems to have an enchantress’s powers of seduction, but it is lost on the screen.

On the other hand, India Eisley, whom probably nobody in the film’s target demographic will recognize from the anime live action remake Kite, is appropriately lovely and delicate as porcelain doll. Even if you are snarking at the film, you will sort of feel for her.

Veteran television director Mike Rohl never really pulls viewers into this macabrely cloistered setting and the look of the picture just screams made-for-TV. It is goofily over-heated, but that is probably how fans want it. Highly riffable, My Sweet Audrina airs this Saturday (1/9) on Lifetime, the V.C. Andrews network.

(Sort of) Jim Henson’s Turkey Hollow

Turkey is delicious. It is no accident it has become the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Anyone serving beets instead should be deported. However, Ron Emmerson and his young son and teenaged daughter are guests of his hippy granola Aunt Cly, so they will have to make do. Fortunately, they will get so sidetracked with the monsters in the forest they will not have time to worry about food in Jim Henson’s Turkey Hollow (trailer here), an original Lifetime movie produced by Lisa Henson, based on an idea the Muppet creator once developed with his writing partner Jerry Juhl, which premieres on the cable network this Saturday.

Emmerson basically lost everything in his recent divorce except his dignity—and even that is debatable. Unexpectedly stuck with his kids, the snotty social media-obsessed Annie and the geeky Tim, Emmerson invites them all over to his Aunt Cly’s hoping she would look after them while he finishes a presentation for his corporate slave-master. However, when gawky Timmy inadvertently lets loose evil Eldridge Sump’s gaggle of genetically juiced turkeys into the wild, Aunt Cly stands to lose her organic sustainable farm to Scrooge McTurkey.

To redeem himself, Tim heads out to take a snap of the local Big Foot-like legend and hereby claim a longstanding reward. Instead, he and Annie encounter a quartet of musical, rock-eating monsters and a pair of Sump’s goons.

Frankly, the villainous agri-business baddie is just a tediously dull cliché. It would have been much more interesting and realistic if the bad guys were the hippies, trying to frame an industrious Aunt Cly for reasons of ideology. However, the whole point of Hollow are the monsters and they are rather cute. They definitely follow in the Muppet tradition, except maybe bushier around the eyes. Youngsters who are already fans of the Muppets and the Fraggles should be charmed silly by the Turkey Hollow quartet.

Even with her character’s annoying eccentricities, Mary Steenburgen is wonderfully acerbic as Aunt Cly. Believe it or not, this is quite a nice role for her. Jay Harrington also exceeds expectations as the not-as-square-as-he-sounds Emmerson. However, the kids are just sort of okay and the bad guys are a shticky embarrassment. Yet, the real wincing comes from Chris “Ludacris” Bridges’ supposedly hip and ironic walk-on narration sequences. Let’s just say he is no Rod Serling.

You’ve got four endearing monsters in Hollow and if you are under thirteen that is more than enough. Despite the environmental organic blah, blah, blah, the film still has a nice message regarding the importance and resiliency of family. Director Kirk R. Thatcher, a Henson veteran, keeps it moving along at a good clip, powering through the shortcomings of Chris Baldi and Tim Burns’ ultra-conventional script. Worth checking in on to see the latest creations of the Henson workshop, but not worth rescheduling your weekend for, Jim Henson’s Turkey Hollow airs this Saturday (11/21) on Lifetime.