It
turns out Bigfoot is as big and blurry as he looks in photos. Frankly, it is
probably smart not to show too much of your monster, too soon. Of course, if
anyone knows their way around a found footage horror film it is Blair Witch and VHS2 co-director Eduardo Sánchez. An annoying camera geek will naturally
have the tools to document the mayhem when a group of friends get on Sasquatch’s
bad side in Sánchez’s Exists (trailer here), which opens this
Friday in New York.
For
some reason, Uncle Bob stopped going to his rustic hunting cabin, so his
nephews Matt and Brian had to steal the keys for a weekend getaway. Convinced
it will be Shangri-La up there, they drag along Matt’s girlfriend, their pal
Todd, and his girlfriend. Actually, their friends are more Matt’s than Brian’s.
Matt is the brooding, popular brother, while Brian is the goofy one who hopes
to post a Bigfoot video on youtube. Oh, he’ll have some footage alright.
However, he was asleep when their car hit some sort of mysterious furry object.
No,
whatever it was, it was not a deer. The state of Uncle Bob’s cabin is also a
bit of a buzz kill. It sure looks like he left in a hurry. Nevertheless, the
five not-as-young-as-they-act partiers start drinking and getting on each other’s
nerves before Bigfoot basically lays siege to the joint. Unfortunately, ‘Quatch
is probably the smartest character in the film.
To
be fair, Chris Osborn is not bad as Brian, nibbling on the scenery here and
there. In contrast, the rest of the ensemble is so nondescript viewers will
hardly remember them from scene to scene. Still, the Sasquatch could serve as a
highly credible Wookie audition for big and athletic Brian Steele.
Exists is like the
Busch Beer of horror movies. If you want to sit back and savor a drink, there
are much more refined options, but if you just want to get hammered, it will
get the job done. We have seen found footage of plenty other cabins in the
woods, but Sánchez has a strong command of the genre mechanics. Shrewdly, he
keeps the big harry one under wraps in the early going, framing some rather
effective what-did-we-just-see-out-of-the-corner-of-our-eyes shots.
