It
represents the maybe not so theoretical point at which artificial intelligence
surpasses the old fashioned human variety. The implications for humanity are
pretty scary, but at least the exponentially upgrading AI would not make a
moronic movie like this. Mankind is done for, but we only have ourselves and
John Cusack to blame in Robert Kouba’s Singularity
(trailer
here), which
releases today on DVD.
Robotics
industrialist Elias Van Dorne is about to solve the world’s problems by
switching on Kronos, a supposedly utopian AI program. Unfortunately, Kronos immediately
decides the only thing wrong with the world is all the people, so it naturally
begins exterminating all us pesky buggers. You would think a genius like Van
Dorne would have seen that one coming. Actually, he sort of did. That is why he
took the precaution of uploading his consciousness and that of his craggy
associate Damien Walsh into the Matrix, or whatever.
Ninety-seven
years later, the Van Dorne and Walsh analogs oversee the hunt for the remaining
human remnants. When we last saw Andrew Davis, he was returning from a visit to
his mother on Armageddon day, wondering why he didn’t have more chances to
direct films after he was nominated for The
Fugitive. Consequently, he is quite confused to wake up in the
post-apocalyptic Czech countryside.
Thanks
to the hybrid AI programs’ exposition heavy chit chat, we quickly realize he is
a trojan horse they have developed. The idea is he will hook up with the Hunger Games wannabe Calia, who will
lead them all to the fabled human refuge, Aurora. For some reason, she thinks a
crossbow is the best weapon to use against hunter-robots (maybe she found it in
the crossbow range on the grounds of Prague Castle). She is not inclined to
trust, but Van Dorne 2.0 was fiendishly clever, endowing Davis with a moral
compass and free will, making it a lead pipe cinch he will win Calia over.
Kouba
tries to dress the film up with some big concepts in Singularity, but it is still dumber than a bag full of hammers. No
wonder mankind is so perilously close to extinction—intuition has completely
disappeared. It also represents a new nadir in John Cusack’s current string of straight-to-DVD
or “excuse-me” stealth theatrical releases. Reportedly, he shot his evil
digital overlord scenes years after the rest of the film was in the can.
Cusack’s
screen time might be brief, but he is still awful as Van Dorne, not that he has
much to work with. The character might have been somewhat provocative is he
were some kind of over-population worrywart, like Warren Buffet, but there is
no real reason provided for his apocalyptic betrayal of humanity. As Davis,
Julian Schaffner looks like he could fly off with a strong gust of wind.
Veteran character actor Carmen Argenziano looks visibly bored as the Walsh
digital-construct, but can you blame him? Only Jeannine Wacker’s Calia/Katniss
shows any signs of life, but it definitely comes in a losing effort.
The
maddening lack of resolution is obviously designed to spur enthusiasm for the
intended epic space opera follow-ups, but it is hard to imagine anyone who
watches Singularity will be eager to
come back for more. That’s what happens when you do not concentrate on the task
at hand. Not recommended, Singularity releases
today on DVD.
