St. Denis Medical: Ho-Ho-Hollo

Nobody wants to be in the hospital around Christmastime. Evidently, that includes the doctors and nurses, because all those sick people are so annoying. This Christmas Eve, the camera crew documenting the titual Oregon hospital captures two particularly sensitive cases in “Ho-Ho-Hollo,” the Christmas-themed episode of St. Denis Medical, which airs tomorrow on NBC.

This episode will make viewers grateful for pixelation, because of the patient who intended to propose to his girlfriend by putting the ring in a rather private place, where it got stuck. Normally, Dr. Bruce is insufferably cocky, but this case maximizes his capacity for sympathy. Still, his katana sword still seems like the wrong approach.

In a way, Dr. Ron can also almost empathize with this week’s other problem patient, Bob Klein. He was admitted after a nasty fall, but it turns out St. Denis also cured his leukemia—because he never had it in the first place. However, he asserts his patient-doctor confidentiality with Dr. Ron and Alex, the supervising RN, because he so enjoys all the attention from his family.

Feeling somewhat abandoned by his grown children, Dr. Ron almost sort of gets it, even though he still finds it horribly slimy. Instead of his real-life namesake, this Robert Klein is portrayed by the perfectly cast David Paymer, who makes a perfect foil for series stars David Alan Grier and Allison Tolman.

The Chelsea Detective: Everyone Loves Chloe (Christmas Special)

In the early 2000’s, Chloe Carmichael was like the Mariah Carey of the UK, especially around Christmastime. Then she largely walked away from public performances and the celebrity lifestyle. Now she is dead. Since she was rich enough to live in London’s tony Chelsea district, her murder is DI Max Arnold’s problem. The poor guy also has a nasty tooth ache he never seems to have time to fix in the “Christmas Special” (a.k.a. “Everybody Loves Chloe,” the first episode of season three) from creator Peter Fincham’s The Chelsea Detective, which premieres tomorrow on Acorn TV.

Not only did Carmichael record an early 21^st Century Christmas favorite, she donated all the royalties to charity. However, her manager at the time never agreed to donate his cut, which he still expects. In fact, he has been demanding them so vociferously, he talked himself into a restraining order, making himself a prime suspect in her murder.

Her roommate and reputed lover Zadie Evans also looks pretty bad, especially since she disappeared. When Arnold’s squad find her, she insists they are merely roommates and the drugs were all hers—or at least mostly hers. The whole relationship business was fabricated by “journalist” Silvie Wix, who was co-writing Carmichael’s memoir. Apparently, Carmichael openly speculated Wix might prefer her dead, because the book would sell better, so there’s that.

Poor Arnold has a lot to deal with. In addition to that tooth ache, his separated wife Astrid Fischer talked him into attending couple’s therapy. Plus, he must peddle around London on his bike like he is Dutch.

“Everybody Loves Chloe” is not very Christmasy for a Christmas special. Frankly, Die Hard decks more halls. However, it serves up some decent procedural work. This is not a great episode for featuring the rest of Arnold’s team (played by Vanessa Emme, Peter Bankole, and Lucy Phelps), but they still show off some nice camaraderie and rhythm together. It also boasts a colorful guest-star performance from Julian Wadham as a MP who has a mysterious connection to Carmichael.

The Madame Blanc Mysteries Holiday Special, on Acorn TV

They do not have many White Christmases in the South of France, but the British expats still take their figgy pudding seriously. In this case, Jean White’s latest holiday special will be more like Holiday Inn, the chain rather than the movie. She and her friends have been invited to a free Christmas getaway at an exclusive hotel, but one of their hosts turns up dead in the latest “Holiday Special” episode of creators Sally Lindsay & Sue Vincent’s The Madame Blanc Mysteries, which premieres tomorrow on Acorn TV.

Jeremy and Judith Lloyd James, White’s “friends from the chateau” are kicking the tires on a potential hotel investment, so they invite her and some friends to help them give it a test drive. Of course, she invites Dom Hayes, who has become her full-fledged boyfriend after the last two seasons (which kicked off with her dodgy husband’s untimely death). He also invited along Police Chief Andre Caron, since he was facing his first holiday on his own. The last two years have also been bruising to his ego, since “Madame Blanc” has been solving all the murders in town before he can.

In a way, this will be a busman’s holiday for Caron, because their hosts are planning a murder-mystery party. Soon, it turns into a real busman’s holiday when the co-owner of the Hotel Sanguinet is murdered during the party players' performance.

Madame Blanc’s mysteries are about as cozy they come, so it will not bother fans one whit that this one is rather simplistic. Instead, viewers just continue to enjoy seeing realistic-looking, somewhat “middled-aged” adults like White and Hayes getting to play at being Hart to Hart. Plus, the French Mediterranean locales are like exotic travel-porn. “Cozy” is definitely the word for this series.

Regardless, you would hardly know it was Christmas, or any other “holiday” from this “Holiday Special.” On the other hand, the Sanguinet has a ghostly backstory that adds some tragic dimension to the mystery.

The Night Court Before Christmas, on NBC

Usually, a series needs a few seasons under its belt before building an episode around nostalgic flashbacks. Of course, Night Court has the benefit of its predecessors’ nine seasons in the 1980s. Yet, for its first special Christmas episode, it is only flashing back a few weeks—back when Grinchy Dan Fielding was still the unlikely Public Defender. He also kind of, sort of saves Christmas, but he is not happy about it in “Night Court Before Christmas, which premieres Saturday on NBC.

Recently, Fielding accepted an appointment to the bench in his beloved hometown of New Orleans, but he is still a weekly cast-member, so we will see how log that lasts. Abby Stone also broke up with her fiancé, so now she is “dating herself.” She gets torched pretty regularly over that, but the original show would have been harsher.

Tonight, the court is processing cases related to Santa Con, so it is packed with bad Santas. A little girl struggling with her parents’ recent divorce happened to slip her Christmas list to one of the disorderly drunks, because she would only entrust it to old St. Nick himself. Judge Abby is determined to find it, because she is hyper-into the Christmas spirit, so she enlists the reluctant Fielding. Meanwhile, “Gurgs” the bailiff is hiding her own Christmas surprise for Fielding: a personal appearance from his hero Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

The second “Night Court Before Christmas” (a reference to the original series’ Christmas episode) harkens back to what made the original so popular, but also shows the limits of the playing-it-safe reboot. It is just too safe and too polite. However, viewers should give Abdul-Jabbar credit for being a good sport. He is willing to look a little silly in a surprisingly substantial guest turn, which follows in the tradition of Mel Torme’s weird appearances on the original.