M. Night Shyamalan’s Knock at the Cabin

Supposedly, groups of four have power, like the Beatles, Seinfeld cast-members, Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and the home invaders of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest film. For the latter, that might not be a coincidence. The creepy foursome is obsessed with Armageddon, but they claim they want to avert doomsday rather than herald it. Their proselytizing techniques could use some work, but their conviction is intense, as a vacationing family learns in Shyamalan’s heavy-handed Knock at the Cabin, which opens today nationwide.

Little Wen was enjoying her cabin holiday with her two dads, Eric and Andrew, until the hulking Leonard showed up. His demeanor is gentle, but in an ominous way. However, his three friends with their Medieval-looking makeshift weapons are obviously bad news, especially the mean-spirited Redmond. They explain they have come to offer the tight-knit family a Sophie’s Choice from Hell, with the fate of humanity depending on their answer.

Supposedly, the four intruders were rather surprised to discover the two men were a gay couple (who pretended to be brothers-in-law while adopting Wen in homophobic China). That must be especially true of Leonard, since he is played by Dave Bautista (who removed a tattoo of Manny Pacquiao tattoo, because of the boxer-turned-politician’s unfortunate comments on same sex couples). However, Andrew, the lawyer and a former victim of an intolerant attack, is not so sure. Regardless, he is extremely skeptical of the trespassers’ crazy apocalyptic talk.

With Cabin, Shyamalan’s forgoes his signature big twists, adopting a “binary” approach. Either it is or it isn’t. Andrew is sure that it isn’t, whereas Eric is maybe starting to entertain their outlandish claims, perhaps partly due to his concussion. There will be no third alternative, arriving out of left field, which makes the ending so disappointing. It just proceeds in an orderly straight line from the original premise, with no deviations.

Master Z: Ip Man Legacy

Originally, the whole point of the various Ip Man movies was to be one degree removed from Bruce Lee. Now, the franchise is spinning off characters with only brief associations with Lee’s great Wing Chun master. Nevertheless, the action is worthy of a place in the Ip Man world. We only see producer Donnie Yen in brief, stylized flashbacks, but some of the brightest motion picture martial artists face off during Yuen Woo-ping’s Master Z: Ip Man Legacy, which opens this Friday in New York.

Cheung Tin-chi fought hard against Master Ip Man, but that made it all the more humbling when he lost his challenge. Resolving to lead a quiet life, Cheung tries to become a modest shopkeeper in Hong Kong. Yet, despite his retirement, Cheung is pulled back into the martial arts life when he saves two young women, Julia and Nana, from a drug-dealing gang led by Tso Sai Kit—at least he likes to fancy himself the leader. The truth is, the Tso syndicate is overseen by his older sister, Tso Ngan-kwan, who intends to take the organization completely legit. She is therefore not amused when her brother tries to kill Cheung and his young son as payback.

Having been burned out of their shop and flat, Cheung finds work and digs with Julia’s brother, Fu, a bar-owner catering to western customers. He knows a fair amount of martial arts too, which will make him a worthy partner for the younger Tso starts pushing hard stuff like heroin in the bar district. Unfortunately, there is an even worse offender than Tso—who also happens to be much more dangerous.

The storyline of Master Z could have been lifted from any middling Golden Harvest release from the 1970s. It almost looks like Yuen was pulling scenes out of a hat at random. Yet, that hardly matters, because of the fight scenes and the star power. Star-in-the-making Max Zhang really comes into his own as Cheung. He is quiet, but he has real presence, not unlike Yen himself. This time around, he gets to face-off versus some of the best in the business, including human tree-trunk Dave Bautista, Tony Jaa (who is almost unrecognizable as the stealthy assassin), and the legendary Michelle Yeoh, who is commandingly regal as Tso Ngan-kwan. Plus, Xing Yu (the former Shaolin monk) does some of his best work yet as the rakish but deeply principled Fu. Frankly, he shows just as much breakout star potential as Zhang.

To summarize the important points: Zhang takes on Yeoh, Bautista, and Jaa—and also teams up with Xing Yu against dozens of thugs. The action is terrific, but the father-son story also has some heart (although not as much as Ip Man’s relationships with his wife and son). It also confirms Yeoh is something like the Hong Kong female version of Clint Eastwood, because her star wattage just continues to grow in brightness over time. Very highly recommended for all martial arts fans, Master Z: Ip Man Legacy opens this Friday (4/12) in New York, at the AMC Empire.

Final Score: Dave Bautista Makes an Action Movie for Trump

Yes, the former Soviet Union would be paradise if it were not for those violent independence activists. Awkwardly, that is the inadvertent message of Dave Bautista’s new throwdown. Hopefully, the former wrestler-turned-actor can keep all those troublesome potential breakaway autonomous republics in line. He will also have to rescue a British football (soccer) stadium full of fans in Scott Mann’s Final Score (trailer here), which opens this Friday in New York.

Blame the Belov Brothers. Dimitri was the parliamentarian, who inspired his people to rise up in defiance of their Russian oppressors, or wise stewards, or whatever. His brother Arkady was the general who made sure it was as bloody as possible. When Dimitri died, the revolution died with him. However, the can’t-see-the-forest-for-the-trees Arkady has learned his brother faked his death and has been living under an assumed identity in the UK. However, he will be in the stadium for an important match between West Ham and Russia.

Logically, Arkady decides to take control of the stadium, wire it up with a dumpster’s worth of C4, force the Brits to give away his brother (who will happily return with Arkady to reignite the carnage), and then let all the hostages blow up when the game clock hits ninety minutes (gee, what if there’s stoppage time?). Of course, he didn’t plan on having American mercenary Michael Knox in the stadium.

Wisely, screenwriters Jonathan Frank, David T. Lynch, and Keith Lynch refrain from calling him “Hard Knox.” He has no interest in FIFA-style football, but he has brought Danni, the daughter of a fallen colleague who now calls him “Uncle Mike.” She is a fan, but she is also inclined to knock off with her deadbeat friends, making it hard for Knox to keep tabs on her when things start to explode.

Okay, so this isn’t a spectacularly original premise. In fact, the whole Die Hard in a stadium thing has already been done at least once before. However, you have to give Final Score credit for a spectacularly brutal fight scene in the stadium kitchen, involving fry baskets.

Bautista is generally pleasant to spend time with and he certainly has the chops for all the fight sequences. (As a pedantic aside, he is way too huge for a climatic scene to make sense, but hey, whatever.) Ray Stevenson is also well in his element, snarling and chewing the scenery as Gen. Belov. The one-sheet doesn’t lie—Pierce Brosnan is in this movie too, but viewers will have to wait a while to see him in anything but crowd scenes. Ralph Brown and Julian Cheung add some attitude as Superintendent Steed and Agent Cho, but let’s be honest, even if it an homage, just using the name “Steed” really risks annoying all the Avengers fans out there.

As an old school action movie, Final Score has a good deal going for it. Politically, it is just a mess. Beyond its confused and not particularly helpful depiction of post-Soviet independence movements, it spends an excessive amount of time on Faisal Khan, an usher helping Knox, just to ram home the point not all Muslims or South Asians are terrorists. Evidently, the film wants viewers to think of them as annoying and ineffectual instead. Wow, what a victory for multiculturalism. Yet even with those frequent PSA interruptions, it has some meathead charm. Recommended accordingly, albeit with the afore mentioned reservations, Final Score opens this Friday (9/14) in New York, at the Village East.

Escape Plan 2: Hades

In the first film, Ray Breslin’s security firm was headquartered in Los Angeles. Now, its in Atlanta. The tax credits must be better there. They really ought to move the company to China, because that is clearly where this sequel expected to do most of its business. When you think about it, it rather makes sense Chinese movie patrons would be so interested in breaking out of prison. It is a new high-tech, off-the-books prison, but Breslin is as slippery as ever in Steven C. Miller’s Escape Plan 2: Hades (trailer here), which releases this Friday on VOD.

Breslin’s specialty, showing up private prisons, has not earned him a lot of friends. Unfortunately, the rescue operation that goes bad during the prologue will not help matters much either. Still, he can be philosophical about setbacks, like dead hostages, because he plays go with his new protégé, Shu. Despite his martial arts skills, Shu is the first member of the team whisked away to the double-secret Hades facility, while watching the back of tech entrepreneur Ma Yusheng, a somewhat estranged childhood friend.

Ma is the target of a paying customer, but it soon becomes clear Hades’ “Zookeeper” is rounding up members of Breslin’s firm for reasons of personal payback. This facility with its constantly morphing structure and largely automated support services poses a particular challenge to Breslin. His three golden rules for escape have always been: learn the layout, learn the routine, and get outside help. So, time to improvise.

Escape Plan 2 is only releasing on VOD and DVD, which is a shame, because surely there are [older] fans out there who would enjoy watching Sylvester Stallone team-up with Dave Bautista, but they might not get the word without a theatrical release. Most likely, it was to protect Stallone from stupid click-bate pieces on how low the per-screen-average was for his latest film, even though the marketing was entirely targeted at the VOD market (these seem to be a specialty of Yahoo Movies). At least it spares the studio the agonizing decision of whether they should launch a best supporting actor Oscar campaign for Bautista or 50 Cent.

Chinese super-star Huang Xiaoming handles about seventy-five percent of the fight scenes, which is a shrewd decision. He definitely has the chops and the physicality. Stallone looks fine as a guy drinking coffee in a café, but he is starting to push it as an action hero. Again, Miller and screenwriter Miles Chapman wisely have Breslin play a more Picard-like role in the first two acts, but they just cannot keep Stallone out of the big climatic rumble. As Breslin’s friendly rival Trent DeRosa, Bautista swaggers through the film like it is all a big lark to him, which it probably was—and yet that works. 50 Cent and Jaime King do not have much to do as Breslin’s support staff, but Titus Welliver sort of upstages the primary villain as the Zookeeper’s tough talking deputy, Gregor Faust.

Hades was conceived as the first part of a sequel duology, but it definitely has plenty of closure, despite clearly suggesting where the in-the-works third film will go. Granted, Hades is not a transcendent masterpiece, but it is considerably more enjoyable than many films Stallone made in his prime (remember Rhinestone, Oscar, or Over the Top?). This is totally a B-Movie, but Huang and Bautista bring quite a bit of value-added. If you enjoy attitude and testosterone, Escape Plan 2: Hades should happily distract you when it releases this Friday (6/29) on DVD, BluRay, and VOD.

Sundance ’17: Bushwick

In New York City, Manhattan does all the work and Staten Island and Queens pay all the property taxes, but Brooklyn always thinks it’s all about them. This time they are right. Red Dawn is about to break out amid the partially gentrified neighborhood in Cary Murnion & Jonathan Milott’s Bushwick, which screened during the 2017 Sundance Film Festival.

Lucy and her boyfriend have ventured into Brooklyn for dinner at her grandmother’s apartment, but you don’t need to know his name, because he ain’t gonna make it very far. While they were in the subway, urban warfare broke out on the streets of Bushwick, but this time it is particularly bad. Suddenly single, Lucy makes a wrong turn into potential rape and murder, but fortunately Stupe the building super is there to save her. Right, he’s a super like Casey Ryback is cook.

Stupe is indeed Marine Corps trained, so he reluctantly agrees to help get Lucy to Grandma’s, before dashing off to Hoboken to check on his wife and son. However, the level of tactical coordination and armaments exhibited by the assailants makes him suspect this is no ordinary day of Brooklyn rioting. After a little “enhanced interrogation,” (remember, that never works, right?), Stupe discovers the truth: a coalition of Southern and border states has invaded Bushwick hoping to force the president to approve their succession demands (of course, that would be Pres. Trump, but whatever).

The first act of Bushwick is actually not bad, notwithstanding the Rope-like faux-single-take gimmick. Dave Bautista Dave Bautista has a big, credible action movie presence and the fact that he is not a superman, but a mortal who is injured quite early in the going could have really distinguished Bushwick. Unfortunately, the film just craters once it elevates ideology over action. Of course, the idea of holding Bushwick hostage is just ridiculous. Frankly, most New Yorkers would say: “that’s all very well, but couldn’t you destroy Williamsburg instead? Or maybe Greenpoint?”

It probably should come as no surprise the second half of Bushwick crashes and burns. Milott & Murnion’s last Sundance selection, Cooties was recut before its eventual theatrical release. Brittany Snow is inoffensive as Lucy, but her hippy-stoner sister Belinda (played by Angelic Zambrana) is like fingernails on the blackboard.

Bushwick is the sort of film that uses the decision of who lives and who dies as stick to beat the audience over the head. It is all an unruly mess, especially since most of the supporting characters are ugly criminal stereotypes, who undercut our sympathy. Not recommended, Bushwick premiered at this year’s Sundance.

Kickboxer: Vengeance—Van Damme Reboots His Own Franchise

Evidently, underground cage fighting is the national sport of Thailand. That makes Tong Po, the reigning cage champion a national hero. Kurt Sloane cannot let it stand when the brutal wall of muscle kills his Olympic Champion brother Eric in the [illegal] ring, but the corrupt cops will never bring Tong Po to justice. Sloane will have to take it to him instead in John Stockwell’s Kickboxer: Vengeance (trailer here), which opens this Friday in New York.

If this set-up sounds familiar, you most likely remember the original fan-favorite Kickboxer from 1989. However, Jean-Claude Van Damme no longer plays the vengeance seeking Kurt Sloane. He is now Durand, the expat Muay Thai master, who trained Eric for his tragic bout. Admittedly, that should not inspire a heck of a lot of confidence, but the surviving Sloane sibling still turns to Durand as he prepares to take on Tong Po. Sloane also develops a romantic relationship with Liu, the only honest cop in Bangkok, who saves his bacon on a number of occasions.

Based on previous Kickboxer films, we would expect everything will eventually be settled in a climatic cage match. Stockwell runs true to form in that respect, but he still keeps things snappy. The big fight is a dozy, but there are also winking hat-tips for fans of the original to pick up on sprinkled throughout.

Fifty-five-year-old JCVD still looks massively cut, but he sort of acts his age this time around. In fact, Durand the snarky Zen master is a perfect fit for his quirky persona. Canadian stunt performer Alain Moussi has the appropriate physicality for Sloane, but his screen presence is somewhat pedestrian. In contrast, Dave Bautista has the presence of King Kong as Tong Po.

Among the who’s-who-of-MMA supporting cast, Georges St-Pierre scores the biggest laughs and flashes his chops in a few appealingly energetic fight scenes. Bafflingly, Gina Carano is completely wasted as Eric Sloane’s crooked fight promoter. However, the Thai-fluent Sara Malakul Lane continues to show tremendous poise and movie star potential as Liu. Yet, many martial arts fans will most remember the late Darren Shahlavi’s appearances as the ill-fated Eric Sloane. Probably best known as Twister in Ip Man 2, he had the skills and the intensity to be the next Scott Adkins, but sadly fate would not allow it.

It is not called Kickboxer: Vengeance for nothing. Even if you are unfamiliar with the previous films, the title really ought to tell you everything you need to know. Stockwell’s unfussy, adrenaline and testosterone-charged approach delivers some highly cinematic beatdowns. Highly recommended for martial arts fans (but somewhat less so for discerning cineastes), Kickboxer: Vengeance opens this Friday (9/2) in select theaters and on VOD platforms.