Royal Flush ’09: Gangster Exchange

Traditions and customs might vary by culture, but dumb muscle is universal. Such is the globalist attitude of Gangster Exchange (trailer here), Dean Bajramovic’s ode to the lowly henchman. The official closing night film of the 2009 Royal Flush Festival, Exchange nicely fits the tattooed, underground spirit of the music and lifestyle magazine for which the fest is named.

Marco “The Immovable Object” and his partner Sasha are disposable soldiers in the Bosnian mafia. They do not even merit a heads-up when their bosses decide to blow away their biker contacts during their regularly scheduled face-to-face. Marco in particular is unhappy, but even he is smart enough not to question his bosses. Grumbling, he moves onto his next assignment: looking after two Japanese couriers on a trial run for a prospective heroin deal with the Bosnians. The yakuza have developed a technique for chemically bonding smack with ceramic, so that toilet Hiro and his partner whisked through customs actually has a multi-million dollar street value.

Unfortunately, when Marco and Sasha deliver their new drinking buddies and the illicit commode for the reconstitution test, the bikers get the drop on them. Suddenly, Marco and Hiro are in business for themselves, if they can stay alive long enough to find a chemist who understands Japanese and is not troubled by trifling ethical concerns.

Employing incidents of over-the-top violence and quirky (occasionally sexually explicit) dialogue for comedic effect, the Tarantino influence is unmistakable in Exchange. However, Bajramovic’s execution is pretty skillful, keeping the action moving along briskly while mining the black humor in every indignity inflicted on the increasingly bloody Marco.

It might not be a star-making role, but as Marco, Christopher Russell certainly plays dumb convincingly. Sarain Boylan also shows some nice comedic timing as Kendra, a chemist who might just fit Marco and Hiro’s requirements. However, the host of eccentric supporting players varies widely in terms of effectiveness. While the hipster dj-grad student is basically an annoying cliché, Aaron Poole’s jittery underworld chemist is surprisingly funny.

Everyone should know going in Exchange is a meathead movie. Of course, it is a bit problematic that a happy ending for the protagonists would involve facilitating a fresh supply of heroin on the streets of New York. Still, that is easily overlooked in a late night festival slot, amongst an appreciative audience. It may not hold up as well for thirteen bucks on a multiplex screen when it opens theatrically in December. Still, it deserves credit for succeeding on its own terms as an entertaining one-bloody-thing-after-another kind of film. The Royal Flush Fest concludes tonight with their "Skullie" Awards at the Slipper Room.

Royal Flush ’09: God of Vampires

These are not Anne Rice vampires. There is nothing erotic about the Kiang-Shi, a.k.a. Chinese Vampires. They do not just consume blood, but spill entrails and splatter gore every which way. Accepting a contract to kill a Kiang-Shi turns out to be a rough gig for one hired killer in Rob Fitz’s ultra-low budget God of Vampires (trailer here), which screened last night during the 2009 Royal Flush Festival as one of their Evil City Horror features.

Frank Ng is so good at what he does, his shadowy business agent nick-named him the Frank-Ng-Stein Monster. Yet, his instincts tell him to pass on a million dollar hit he is offered. At first, the assignment is just another day at the office for Ng, but when the supposed crime-lord won’t stay dead, the hitman realizes he has a problem. Though clearly outmatched, the stone-cold Ng still manages to annoy the Kiang-Shi, who vows to kill everyone the contract killer knows in retribution. In over his head, Ng seeks help from an herbalist in the city’s worst Chinese restaurant, thereby marking him for death as well. From there, things definitely get messy.

With writer-director Fitz wearing five or six different hats during the production, GOV was practically a one man DIY affair. He certainly did not economize on the fake blood though. In fact, he and cinematographer Silas Tyler get credit for producing a pretty decent looking film, considering their modest resources.

Though GOV is definitely in the b-movie tradition, Fitz keeps the energy amped up and throws in some dumb-but-not-too-dumb humor to leaven the gore. He offers some quirky departures from western vampire folklore that lead to some amusingly odd action sequences, as when Ng and his comrades attempt to staple Chinese death certificates to the foreheads of uncooperative vampires to put their souls to rest.

As Ng, Dharma Lim makes a decent screen protagonist and his fight choreography is pleasingly violent and gritty. Unfortunately, points have to be deducted for the lack of a hot female slayer character, but at least the use of a chainsaw as a weapon against the undead lends an undeniable touch of class to the proceedings.

Displaying a good grindhouse work ethic, GOV is an entertaining midnight movie, provided audiences watch it in the right state of mind. Really, GOV’s combination of the martial arts and vampires genres again proves to be pretty bullet-proof, with its dash of the yakuza film adding a nice hint of flavor. The Royal Flush Festival continues through Sunday night with more Evil City Horror features, including Jim Isaac’s Pig Hunt tonight.

Royal Flush ’09: Pig Hunt

Northern California can be a dangerous place. There are a lot of things to worry about in those great woods, including pot growers, violent hillbillies, freaky hippies, and wild boar. They all turn into a perfect storm for John and his loser buddies in Jim Isaac’s Pig Hunt (trailer here), which screens during the upcoming Royal Flush Festival.

It has been a longtime since John returned to his backwoods home and it’s not hard to see why he stayed away. Originally conceived as a weekend hunting trip with the guys, his girlfriend Brooks convinces him to let her tag along. Again, it is not hard to see why he agreed. Not only is she beautiful, she can shoot straight and is the only character on the excursion worth talking to.

Arriving at his late uncle’s cabin, they discover it has been defaced with weird, menacing graffiti. Also adding to their anxiety is the sudden arrival of two of John’s former hick friends, who seem to harbor a lingering resentment against him. Still, they seem to have a knack for finding game, so everyone heads out into the woods together. After all, what could go wrong? Besides encountering the legendary Ripper, a three-thousand pound wild pig they were warned about in town, that is.

It is not giving away much to reveal the Ripper turns out to be quite real and very much worthy of his name. Needless to say things get very bad, very fast. Isaac builds the tension quite effectively, leaving unsettling clues that there may well be more threats out there than just the killer hog. As is usually the case in horror films, the less the audience actually sees of the Ripper, the scarier he is. Unfortunately, the periodic attempts to draw an analogy between the hunt for the Ripper and the War in Iraq are clumsy, ill-conceived distractions from the gory business at hand.

In general, Pig Hunt’s cast is at least adequate to the genre. However, Tina Huang is a charismatic standout as Brooks. Whether firing off rounds or needling John’s idiot friends, she is just what the doctor ordered for a bloody horror-actioner. She completely outshines the rest of the cast, including the bland Travis Aaron Wade as the characterless John. Also noteworthy is a small but memorable cameo by blues mouth-harpist Charlie Musselwhite as the general store owner who issues the fateful warning about the big pig in the woods.

Happily we also get to hear Musselwhite perform the all too brief “Booneville Crossroads.” The balance of Pig Hunt’s soundtrack, largely composed by Les Claypool of Primus (who also appears as Preacher, the head of the redneck clan and a dead-ringer for Richard Petty), featuring additional percussion by jazz drummer Eric Harland, really brings a down-home vitality to the picture.

For audiences receptive to the exploitation-horror genre, Pig Hunt is good, clean fun, with some cool sounds and a really appealing action performance by Huang. It is the sort of vigorously blood-splattered picture that would have been a good fit for the late lamented Two Boots Theater. It screens Saturday at Anthology Film Archives as part of the Royal Flush Festival.