The Toxic Avenger, Starring Peter Dinklage

He was born in a notoriously violent and grotesque Troma movie. Less than seven years later, he was starring in a children’s cartoon. It didn’t last long, because what’s haye point of watching Toxie if he can’t stuff a bullying bad guy’s hands into a deep fryer? In the original films, his name varied from Melvin Ferd to Melvin Junko, so giving him a fresh name change to Winston Gooze is really no big deal. Regardless, he will experience plenty of body horror while in engaging in gruesome acts of payback throughout director-screenwriter Macon Blair’s rebooted The Toxic Avenger, which opens tomorrow in theaters.

Poor Gooze is still a put-upon janitor (wielding a trusty mop), who is done wrong by life in general and his boss, mobbed-up nutritional supplement tycoon Bob Garbinger in particular. First, Garbinger’s company rejects his insurance claim for life-saving treatment. Then his thugs beat Gooze and leave him for dead in a vat of toxic goo. Frankly, that last part was an honest misunderstanding. They were supposed to kill J.J. Doherty, a whistle-blower collecting evidence of Garbinger’s dangerously foul environmental practices. Gooze just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Although Gooze looks like a giant oozing disfigured freak, he now has superhuman strength and healings powers, which are obviously handy traits for a vigilante. Yet, Gooze fears his new twisted form will further traumatize his stepson Wade, who is still reeling from his mother’s death (prior to the start of the picture).

Troma still co-produced Blair’s reboot and studio chief Lloyd Kaufman even makes a Stan Lee-style cameo, but civilians who are not fanatically devoted to the indie studio will be happy to have more cooks in the kitchen. As a result, the new film is not quite as cartoonishly vicious as Troma’s vintage 1980’s releases, including the original 1984 film. Admittedly, “watered-down” is not a term many critics will apply to Macon’s reboot, but it does not quite have the same ferocity, which is a good thing.

In fact, there are flashes of pleasantly dry wit, delivered with appropriate cynical world-weariness by Peter Dinklage. He has a great voice for voice-overs. Frankly, based on his intro, he would probably make a terrific Batman for the DC Animated Universe. He also helps humanize Gooze, even when Luisa Guerrero takes over as the body of the Toxic Avenger.

Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol. 1: Get a Good Whiff of Jersey Public Schools

There is a new class at Tromaville High School, but they still have no class. Before the Veronica Mars team raised over one million Kickstarter dollars for their high school reunion, Team Troma sequelized or rebooted or re-whatevered Nuke ‘Em High for about twelve cents. Having split their triumphant homecoming into two volumes mostly as a gimmick, Troma lets Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 (trailer here) ooze into theaters today.

As all cultured viewers surely remember, the nuclear power plant next to Tromaville High had a little mishap in the 1980’s, leading to a mutant uprising.  The plant is now safely closed, but an organic food processing facility has been built directly over it. Naturally, they churn out some pretty disgusting foodstuffs, primarily for the school market.  Taco Tuesday will turn ugly when the radioactive guac turns the glee club into the next generation of the rampaging mutant “Cretin Gang.”

Chrissy, a pseudonymous student blogger, always knew there was something wrong with Tromorganic and the high school lunch program, but nobody seems particularly interested in her evidence.  She also gets a little distracted quarrelling and secretly lusting after Lauren, the poor little rich girl who just enrolled in Tromaville.  It is massively ironic that there are more leeringly exploitative lesbian sex scenes in Blue is the Warmest Color, because Nuke ‘Em is really trying its best.

Right, so what can you say about Vol. 1, except that it is a Troma movie? The gore is ridiculously over the top and the humor is in aggressively poor taste.  Yet, in its defense, Nuke ‘Em Parte Une seems to have less of a mean streak than earlier Troma grind-ups.  Believe it or not, Asta Paredes and Catherine Corcoran are sort of decent as Chrissy and Lauren, all things considered.  In contrast, Lloyd Kaufman, Mr. Troma himself, is outrageously shticky as Lee Harvey Herzkauf, the corporate villain behind Tromorganic.  Still, it is a subtler more nuanced performance than Meryl Streep’s work in August: Osage County, so if the Academy nominates her they might as well nominate him while they’re at it.

Those who are inclined to be offended by anything at all have no business at a Troma screening.  There is a bit involving Kevin the Wonder Duck that might just scar you for life. On the other hand, if that kind of thing amuses you, here’s a bunch more.  This is indeed a film that is impervious to criticism. How should we rate it? D+ for dumbass (plus)?  It is impossible to recommend, but I’d sort of like to see part two when it comes out.  If you still cannot figure out if it is your cup of tea, you’re on your own Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 opens today (1/10) in New York at the Village East.