TCM Classic ’21: Plan 9 from Outer Space Table Read

Submitted for your approval: more evidence the Library of Congress has been tardy (perhaps even remiss) in adding Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space to the National Film Registry. Admittedly, the world hardly noticed when it released in 1959, but since then, it has inspired Tim Burton’s Oscar-winning biopic, stage musicals, an episode of Rifftrax, a much better-than-expected remake, scores of midnight screenings, and this affectionate table read (it is really more of a Zoom read, but whatever). Honestly, which was you rather re-watch, Plan 9 or the 1959 Best Picture winner, Gigi, featuring fellow-traveling Maurice Chevalier singing about how much he loves little girls? Clearly, Dana Gould would opt for Ed Wood. Originally presented as part of SF Sketchfest, Gould’s table read adaptation of Plan 9 from Outer Space airs tonight as part of the 2021 TCM Classic Film Festival.

Gould plays The Amazing Criswell and he never stints on the sensationalistic bluster. It might sound like he exaggerates the overblown intro, but if you compare it to Wood’s film (which airs afterward), he sticks pretty close to the original text. However, much of the narration duties will be handled by vintage SNL cast-member Laraine Newman, who gets big laughs with her sardonic attempts to justify the film’s massive logic and credibility gaps.

In addition to Gould and Newman, Bobcat Goldthwait does some of his funniest work in years as Kelton the cop (played in the movie by fan-favorite Paul Marco). In fact, Kelton’s prominence shows how well Gould knows his Woodverse. Yet, the biggest name participating might be Bob Odenkirk, who suitably hams it up as the alien Ruler.

Memo to the National Film Registry: Plan 9 from Outer Space

Public nominations for this year’s additions to the Library of Congress’s NationalFilm Registry close tomorrow, so anyone who wishes to second my nomination of Plan 9 from Outer Space should do so today. Here is my open letter to the National Film Preservation Board, making the case for Ed Wood’s affectionately notorious film:

Not every film on the National Film Registry is great, but they are all culturally significant. Surely, Ed Wood’s cult classic Plan 9 from Outer Space qualifies as the latter. Yes, it has been widely derided as “the worst film of all time,” but that itself is some kind of distinction. Yet, movie fans keep watching it.

Arguably, no other film has played a greater role shaping the “so bad its good” aesthetic than Plan 9. Its ruckus late night screenings deserve a great deal of credit for the “midnight movie” tradition as we now know it. Plan 9 has burrowed into our cultural consciousness and reshaped our genre archetypes with the now iconic appearances of Bela Lugosi (in his final screen role), Tor Johnson, “Vampira,” and “The Amazing Criswell.” As a result, there are prominent references to Plan 9 scattered throughout the last fifty years of pop culture, including call-outs on Seinfeld and The X-Files.

Logically, the making of Plan 9 is the centerpiece of Ed Wood, which is arguably Tim Burton’s best live action feature to date. In fact, Burton’s film is significant in its own right, thanks to Martin Landau’s Academy Award-winning portrayal of Lugosi, but it probably would not exist without Plan 9.

Over the years, Plan 9 has inspired stage musicals, comic books, video games, and a reconceived remake that is actually not half-bad (John Johnson’s Plan 9). For movie lovers, it has transcended Wood’s conspicuous limitations as a filmmaker to become a beloved work of Atomic-Age Americana. That is why preservation of Plan 9 from Outer Space fits so well with the National Film Registry’s mission and methodology. Plus, its induction would be a publicity boon for the Registry (seriously, those stories would just write themselves, wouldn’t they?). That is why Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space should be included in the Registry’s Class of 2019.

Plan 9: Ed Wood Remade and Rebooted

It is long past time to induct Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space into the National Film Registry. Its cultural significance is beyond question. No film is more responsible for the midnight movie screening tradition or the “so-bad-its-good” aesthetic. Without it, Tim Burton’s Oscar winning Ed Wood would not exist. Wood’s cult classic now has another claim to lasting cultural currency. It has spawned a remake. More of a reboot than a recreation, John Johnson still pays plenty of homage to the Wood canon in Plan 9 (trailer here), which releases today on VOD.

The prologue starts self-referentially, with Cinema Insomnia host Mister Lobo once again assuming the Criswell persona, but openly questioning the wisdom of remaking Ed Wood, because obviously. Oh but this Criswell will not get off as easily as the original. Once the reanimated corpses attack, he will find himself holed up in a country general store, along with Jeff Trent, the pilot who first reported seeing a flying saucer.

It is Halloween in the quiet town of Nilbog (Troll 2 reference alert), so Kelton the Cop is in no mood for UFO sighting reports. He will soon learn better. The Tor Johnson-looking Inspector Clay is one of the first to be killed by the re-animated hordes, but he will be back soon. So will workaholic scientist Lucy Grimm’s fatally suicidal grandfather. At least the whole Halloween thing explains why he was wearing a cape. Initially, Grimm thought the mysterious energy pulse was a death ray, but eight hypotheses later, she realizes it revives and controls the recently deceased.

There are no flamboyant, sequin-wearing aliens explaining their nefarious schemes in the more simply titled Plan 9. When the invaders finally show themselves, they trying to blend in, rather than stand out, but they only created two templates (one male, one female) for their human forms. There are in fact a number of departures from the original narrative (such as it was), but Johnson stays reasonably faithful to Wood’s concept.

It terms of tone, Johnson plays it perfectly. He never tries to slavishly duplicate the kitsch of Wood’s film. There are no cardboard tombstones flopping around here. Of course, Johnson keeps his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, but he still goes about the reanimated zombie business with all due earnestness. Arguably, Plan 9 is more closely akin to Dan O’Bannon’s comedic pseudo-sequel The Return of the Living Dead, which is very high praise indeed.

This might sound like faint praise, but Charmed’s Brian Krause is considerably better than his predecessor as Jeff Trent. Mister Lobo is a hammy riot as Criswell, while Jerry Moore adds some gritty Fessendenish flavor as the local DJ, Boss Man Mike. However, it is Johnson himself and Sara Eshleman who really make the film, bickering and bantering together as Kelton the Cop and the infinitely smarter Grimm.

In fact, elevating Kelton the Cop to the second lead is a clever way to acknowledge the character’s significance for small but strange cult fanbase. It is all just goofy and knowing enough to get away with its periodic winks and hat-tips, but sufficiently down-to-business to keep the audience invested. It is sort of shocking to say this, but Plan 9 is a clever, thoroughly entertaining film. Heck, it even deserves a sequel. Affectionately recommended for cult movie fans, Plan 9 launches today (2/16) on VOD.

Slamdance ’12: Ed Wood’s Final Curtain

In recent years, major international filmmakers like Martin Scorsese and Agnieszka Holland have branched out into dramatic television in-between their feature work. Cult-film legend Ed Wood had a similar idea decades ago, but alas, for the cross-dressing director, it was not to be. Unseen for fifty-five years, Wood’s long lost spec pilot Final Curtain premiered last night at the 2012 Slamdance Film Festival in Park City.

Conceived as the first installment of an anthology series called Portraits of Terror, Curtain starts with an appropriately hyperbolic introduction telling viewers the characters to follow are “Creatures to be pitied. Creatures to be despised . . .” We’ve been so warned. There will be no Criswell narration here. However, the protagonist’s wonderfully overwrought voiceovers are handled by Dudley Manlove, another Wood stalwart, recognizable as the snippy alien in Plan Nine From Outer Space.

Curtain chronicles an actor’s fateful night in a dark theater long after the last performance of his play. Naturally, he played a vampire, but for some reason the stage sets resemble a prairie cabin. Of course, for Ed Wood continuity errors, this is small beans. Throughout the run, something supernatural has been calling, calling to him. At last, he faces it or perhaps we are witnessing his descent into madness.

Wood claimed Bela Lugosi died reading his Curtain treatment, which is pretty heavy, considering the general quality of the scripts that came his way. Adding yet another layer of meta-weirdness, Curtain briefly features Jenny Stevens as “The Vampire,” about whom nothing is known aside from her appearance in a previous Ed Wood film, leading some to suspect she was the director’s drag persona.

This might sound incredible, but the darkened backstage setting is actually kind of spooky. Somehow Wood and his crew gained access to a real working theater, so at least the soundboards and orchestra seats are not cardboard cut-outs, listing from side-to-side. The twenty-two minute running time also keeps Wood’s story somewhat focused, not that the actor’s decisions make much sense.

Curtain is pretty much exactly what you think it is. Knowing that it exists and has been preserved for posterity alone justified a trip to Park City. The restoration’s executive producers, Jason Insalaco and Jonathan Harris, are clearly motivated by an abiding love for the Wood canon. In Fact, Insalaco’s uncle was Paul Marco, a long time Ed Wood co-conspirator, known to the faithful for his recurring character, Kelton the cop. A really strange piece of Hollywood history, Curtain should have a long life of midnight screenings in its future. Indeed, its premiere was a real event at the 2012 Slamdance Film Festival.