Most
of us are willing to risk facing death and dismemberment, but the prospect
having our identity and credit cards stolen scares the willies out of us. Yet,
that is exactly what this motley band of protagonists does. To be fair, some members
of the crew are better than others in Julian Gilbey’s Plastic (trailer
here), which
opens this Friday.
Sam
and his circle are some of the sort of disgustingly fortunate college students
who always seem to have nice clothes and the latest tech toys. Somebody else
always pays for them. How they stay in school is a bit of a mystery, but the
source of their funds is not. He runs a small gang of credit card thieves. They
are not run of the mill pickpockets. They understand how to steal passwords and
build up customer profiles so their spending will not raise red flags. It was
all working rather smoothly until Yatesy, the prettyboy jerkweed, and his
sidekick Rafa rolled the wrong mark. In this case, wrong means the money man
for a ruthless Euro gangster.
Before
they know it, all four lads are face to face with the unamused Marcel, who
offers them an ultimatum. They can pay him 50,000 pounds restitution every
week, or a lump sum of two million. Sam opts for the one-shot deal. Initially, they
plan to raise the funds doing what they do best, with the help of Sam’s class
crush, Frankie. In addition to her supermodel looks, she also happens to work
for a credit card company that done her wrong.
The
idea of the fab five scrambling to drain the credit cards of three high rollers
in Miami is rather subversively appealing, like a thriller version of Brewster’s Millions. Unfortunately,
Yatesy the idiot blows the caper before it properly starts. Instead, the lads
fall back on a half-baked jewel heist scheme that should be entirely outside
their skill set. Pretending to be employees of an obscenely rich sultan,
largely through the help spray-on tanners, Sam and company intend to steal a
fabulous collection of colored diamonds from Steve Dawson, a Miami jeweler’s
over-ambitious international sales manager.
Frankly,
the second half stretches credibility to the breaking point, but at least
Gilbey has the good sense to step on the gas and never look back. Pacing is not
a problem here, but if you need vaguely likable characters in your thrillers, Plastic comes up empty. Arguably,
Frankie is a reasonably decent person and at least Dawson’s hot assistant Beth
has the good sense to question his sloppy security practices.
As
Marcel and his creepy henchman Tariq, Thomas Krestchmann and Mem Ferda chew all
the scenery that is not nailed down, which helps quite a bit. Graham McTavish
and Malese Jow also bring some attitude and energy as the marks. For her part,
Emma Rigby’s Frankie looks good in a swimsuit. However, all the lads are deadly
dull, including Downton Abbey’s Ed
Speleers (Jimmy Kent in seasons three through five) straining to be the roguish
leading man.
Plastic has its guilty
pleasures, but instead of embracing its grubby comparative advantages, it tries
to become Raffles or Remington Steele midway through. It is
all rather frustrating, because there are definitely B-movie elements that
could have worked. Maybe worth a look later down the road, British thriller
fans can safely wait for cable or Netflix. For diehard fans of the hip Brit TV
cast, it launches on iTunes and opens in select markets this Friday (9/26).
