It
turns out organic farming can lead to abductions, white slavery, and murder.
Granted, the hippy farm was not a party to such crimes, but they never raised
any alarm when expected girls fail to turn up. Sloane and Katie are the predators’
latest victims, but they aim to be the last in Terry Miles’ Even Lambs Have Teeth (trailer here), which releases
today on VOD.
After
Katie’s Uncle Jason dropped them off at the bus stop, the free-spirited
students accepted a ride from two backwoods pretty boys. Soon thereafter, they
find themselves chained up in two shipping containers out in the middle of
nowhere. Their captors’ plan is to use, abuse, and dispose of them. Of course,
they did not anticipate Uncle Jason snooping around. After all, he is a “detective
with the FBI.” Whatever. Its Sloane and Katie they should really worry about.
When they get loose, all bets are off.
Fresh
from their escape, Sloane and Katie swing by the hardware store to pick up a
few staples, like axes, baseball bats, hammers, nails, rope, chains, and a
weed-whacker. Then it’s time to get down to business. You can just hear the
pedantic hobgoblins complain Katie and Sloane’s sudden metamorphosis into
stone-cold vengeance seekers is not “realistic,” but what do you want from a
film like this? Depressing naturalism or country-fried payback served up pipin’
fresh?
Kirsten
Prout and Tiera Skovbye are more than convincing in first act scenes of
victimization and all kinds of fierce in the second and third act revenge
sequences. Michael Karl Richards is almost engaging as the not completely
clueless Uncle Jason, the film’s only redeemable male character, which is more
than adequate. The rest of the dudes come across as thoroughly vile predators,
who deserve the karmic reckoning coming their way.
