The Fountain of Youth, on Apple TV+

Evidently, the Fountain of Youth is not in Florida after all (just rejuvenatingly low taxes)—because that would be too easy.  A lot of frequent flyer miles were generated during the production of this globe-trotting adventure. The influences are obvious (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Tomb Raider, National Treasure), but the tone is breezy and even often jokey in Guy Ritchie’s The Fountain of Youth, which starts streaming today on Apple TV+.

Luke Purdue and his sister Charlotte used to travel the world in search of antiquities with their late archeologist father. After his death, she accepted a curatorial position and tried to live a responsible life, while he grew increasingly irresponsible. During the prologue, he steals a priceless old master from Thai gangsters, but don’t worry. They stole it first. Then a mysterious femme fatale and her small Templar-like entourage tries to steal it away from Purdue.

Awkwardly, the next painting he purloins happens to be from his sister’s museum. Apparently, clues to the location of the Fountain of Youth were somehow embedded into each canvas. Naturally, each clue leads to another ancient treasure that holds yet another clue to the Fountain’s location, each of which requires the combined expertise of Indiana Jones, Lovejoy, and the Professor of Aramaic Fibonacci sequences from the Da Vinci Code books, to decipher.

In a case of good news/bad news, Esme, the alluring protector of the Fountain’s secrets, is always hot on their trail. Soon, Interpol Inspector Jamal Abbas joins her in pursuit of the Purdues (although, in reality, Interpol is just a clearinghouse for international arrest warrants, increasingly abused by China and Russia to harass dissidents).

Nevertheless, the constant hopscotching of exotic locales is a good deal of fun. John Krasinski and Natalie Portman also regularly flash their super-star charm as the Purdue Siblings, even though nobody would ever mistake them for brother and sister in real life. Arguably, the sworn protector of the Fountain might be Eiza Gonzalez’s most charismatic big-screen appearance to-date, especially considering her slow-burning chemistry with Krasinski. However, Domhnall Gleaason just looks bored as Owen Carver, the dying billionaire funding Luke Purdue’s misadventures.

Unfortunately, the humor often aims more for broad, kid-friendly yucks, rather than sly grown-up laughs. It also stretches credibility past all reason that the Purdues would let Charlotte’s son Thomas tag-along almost from the start, even though young Benjamin Chivers’ pleasantly upbeat and earnest screen presence holds up surprisingly well. On the other hand, Stanley Tucci hardly has any time to register in viewers’ hippocampi in his brief appearance as the “Elder.”

In terms of pacing and tone, Ritchie’s film is roughly on par with Matthew Vaughn’s Argylle. Frankly, the inventive final action sequence genuinely cries out for a video game adaptation.  It is brisk and often silly, but mostly in entertaining ways. Regardless, Ritchie never lets the film stand still for long, so every gag that doesn’t land quickly disappears in the rearview mirror. Recommended for the clean, retro-style adventure, The Fountain of Youth starts streaming today (5/23) on Apple TV+.