Radio Silence’s Abigail

This kidnapping will be a lot like “The Ransom of Red Chief,” but with lots more blood. The gang has no idea who they are kidnapping until it is way too late. Instead of paying to return her, these criminals will pay with their lives in Abigail, the latest horror movie from Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett, the filmmaking tandem known as Radio Silence, which opens tomorrow nationwide.

Most of the crew did not know they were abducting a “child” and none of them knew the identity of her father. They did not know each other, either. Lambert, their boss, is against giving them code-names, but he reluctantly assigns them Rat Pack handles. Amusingly, but all too believably, the significance is lost on most of the lowlifes.

“Joey” has military medical training, so she will be Abigail’s babysitter. The “young girl” will definitely not need medical treatment from her. The gang soon freaks out when “Frank,” their swaggering team leader, figures out Abigail’s father is a notorious Keyser Soze-like crime-lord. However, he is the least of their worries. It turns out the Rat Pack was intentionally trapped inside Lambert’s haunted mansion-like hideout, with the predatory Abigail.

The exact nature of Abigail’s lethalness is basically an open secret, but reviews are still supposed to refrain from spelling it out. Regardless, it is pretty clear she is more than a “Bad Seed.” She is an entire bad farm.

The fake Rat Pack also gets a good deal of laughs for their sociopathic snark and moronic meatheadedness. Dan Stevens (Cousin Matthew in Downton Abbey) delivers a lot of the former, dipping back into his psycho trick bag from The Guest. Kevin Durand supplies most of the latter as the hulking “Peter.” William Catlett is appropriately hardnosed as the ex-military sniper, misnamed “Rickles.” The late Angus Cloud does another Eminem impersonation as “Dean,” but his obvious personality-dysfunction helps further complicate the poisonous group dynamic. The same is true of Kathryn Newton’s impressive freakouts as high-strung hacker “Sammy.”

Unfortunately, Melissa Barrera is supposed to slow-burn as the guilt-wracked Joey, but she is definitely the weakest, least defined member of the Rat Pack. She looks credible in the blood-drenched fight scenes, but that is about all she brings to the table. Frankly, the producers of the Scream franchise really did not give up much when they fired her from their next film, because of what they justifiably described as her antisemitic “hate speech.” There are monsters in real life too.

Line of Duty

There is nothing the media enjoys more than tearing down police officers. An internet wannabe like Ava Brooks hardly qualifies as media, but she certainly shares all their biases. However, she will learn just how dangerous it can be to serve as a uniformed officer in Steven C. Miller’s Line of Duty, which opens tomorrow in New York.

Officer Frank Penny was officially cleared of wrong-doing in a prior shooting incident, but his career has still suffered. He really was blameless, but he remains wracked with guilt, due to the acutely agonizing circumstances. He walks a beat these days, fatefully putting him in the perfect place to intercept a fleeing kidnaping suspect.

Unfortunately, Penny is forced to shoot the perp before he can disclose any information on the victim’s whereabouts. Awkwardly, she happens to be the daughter of the police chief. As a further complication, Brooks captures the entire shooting on her live-cast, as well as Penny’s subsequent dressing down. Of course, he goes rogue to rescue the young girl and she does her best to keep up with him, until things start getting violently real. Soon, the odd couple realizes they will have to work together to save the victim and stay alive.

If Line of Duty had been released during the peak of premium cable movie channels, it would have been a mainstay that we would have frequently re-watched. It is no classic, but it is slick, professional, generally reassuring, and highly watchable. Frankly, it is enormously refreshing just to see such a positive portrayal of a police office on-screen. Penny is no superhero, but Aaron Eckhart’s lead performance and Jeremy Drysdale’s screenplay cast him in an acutely human light that actually makes him more sympathetic than an unrealistically perfect action hero.

Creepshow—The Series: Gray Matter & House of the Head

When it comes to horror pedigrees, this one is pretty intimidating. The original Creepshow movie was inspired by EC Comics, based on Stephen King stories, directed by George Romero, and co-starred Adrienne Barbeau and an uncredited Tom Akins. There was also a sequel that was okay. Still, the original film leaves some large shoes to fill, but at least King and Barbeau will both lend a hand. Comic books get sinister again when producer-showrunner Greg Nicotero’s series reboot of Creepshow premieres tomorrow on Shudder.

It seems like old times in a good way when the series kicks off with an adaptation of King’s “Gray Matter,” directed by Nicotero co-starring Barbeau as Rose, the kindly elementary school teacher and general store proprietor of a small coastal Maine town. Of course, it is Maine. Indeed, look closely at the notice board for a few Stephen King Easter eggs. A “Storm of the Century” is bearing down on the tiny burg, so most of the townspeople have evacuated, leaving only Rose, Doc, and [Police] Chief. They figure they will just kvetch their way through the storm, until teenaged Richie Grenadine bursts through the door, clearly in an agitated state.

Reviewers have sworn a blood oath not to reveal any details regarding the horrifying whatsit, so you will have to see for yourself. However, the real strengths of the opening story are the classic King setting and the first-rate cast. In addition to Barbeau, Gray Matter co-stars Tobin Bell from the Saw franchise as Chief and Giancarlo Esposito (who isn’t necessarily a genre specialist, but is always interesting on-screen) as Doc. Watching these three do their thing will always be great fun.

In contrast, there are no recognizable faces in The House of the Head, but it is sit-up-and-take-notice creepy. Young Evie’s imagination drew positive stimulus from her deluxe custom doll house, until a body-less head turned inside it. Suddenly, her family of dolls looks absolutely terrified and starts moving on their own. That head seems to exert an evil influence within the doll house and it scares the heck out of her too.

Screenwriter Josh Malerman’s premise is so ingeniously simple and altogether insidious, it seems amazing nobody did it before. Yet, he deserves credit for a fresh kind of doll horror. John Harrison’s direction is also tight, tense, and completely unsettling, while young Cailey Fleming is completely earnest and unaffected as Evie.

Gray Matter is an entertaining nostalgia trip for Creepshow fans, whereas House of the Head is one of the better TV horror anthology stories of the year, so far (along with “Legacy,” “Only Child,” and “Little Monsters” from Two Sentence Horror Stories and “A Traveler” from the latest Twilight Zone reboot). Based on the first episode, we’re optimistic the Creepshow series will prove worthy of its name and lineage. Regardless, Gray Matter and House of the Head are enthusiastically recommended for fans of King, the franchise, and horror anthologies when they start streaming tomorrow (9/26) on Shudder.

Poker Night: Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

In this case, poker is not a metaphor for thermonuclear war or anything else. It is a social convention. As a rookie detective in Warsaw, Indiana, the newbie is expected to lose money and listen to the stories of the crafty veterans to gain from their hard-earned experiences. Unfortunately, he will only have one night of lessons to apply before he is abducted by a serial killer in Greg Francis’s Poker Night (trailer here), which releases on VOD and in select theaters this Friday.

Jeter made a name for himself breaking a big case, but at least one of the grizzled detectives is not convinced the whippersnapper deserves his seat at the table. However, the legendary Det. Calabrese (played by Ron Perlman) is in his corner, so end of discussion. Each of the four greybeards relates an anecdote with practical applications that Jeter will realize over time, as he languishes chained up in the hooded maniac’s customized basement.

Much to Jeter’s distress, his captor is also holding Amy Maxwell, the daughter of his least welcoming colleague, with whom he has been carrying on a dangerously flirtatious but not yet criminal relationship. He quickly draws his first conclusion: his predicament is not random. It is personal.

Poker Night is about as uneven as a film can get. When it features great character actors like Perlman, Giancarlo Esposito, and Titus Welliver trash talking and telling sea stories, it is a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the vanilla Beau Mirchoff is no match for any of them, yet he carries the film’s dramatic load. He even takes their places on camera as he starts to envision their stories through his eyes.

Still, there is a distinctive streak of pitch black humor running through the film. Francis also turns a few good twists, but he does not know when to stop. The ultimate ending (following several false stops) makes absolutely no sense within the film’s narrative context. Sensitive viewers should be further warned, Poker Night can get a little rough. Strictly speaking, it is more of a thriller than a horror film, but you can definitely see the Saw franchise from here.

Arguably, Poker Night’s concept would work better as an ongoing television show than a one-shot feature. Each week, a different reminiscence could illuminate dumb plodding Jeter’s latest case. It would also force the showrunner to keep things more focused and grounded, which would be all to the good. Nevertheless, it is hard to get really down on any film that lets Perlman and Esposito do their thing. Strictly for the cult stars’ fans, Poker Night launches on VOD and opens simultaneously in limited release tomorrow (12/5).