Halloween Ends

It is a trilogy, so that means it is supposed to end, conclusively. Of course, in horror, they have a habit of turning into quartets and quintets, as in the case of Scream. In this case, the Halloween rights will revert from Blumhouse to Malek Akkad, the son of the original producer, Moustapha Al Akkad, following the completion of David Gordon Green’s retconned trilogy. Laurie Strode thought she finally trapped Michael Myers in Halloween (2018), but the bogeyman escaped to take his revenge on the entire town of Haddonfield in Halloween Kills. Four years later, Strode and her granddaughter Allyson Nelson are still wondering if and when Myers will return to kill again, which of course he does in Green’s Halloween Ends, releasing today in theaters and on Peacock.

Myers’ last Halloween rampage was a brutal one. Amongst his victims was Strode’s daughter Karen Nelson. Since then, Strode has relaxed a little, finding therapeutic value in writing her memoirs. She is still a bit of an outcast, so she has sympathy for Corey Cunningham, who accidentally killed the bratty kid he was babysitting on a non-Michael Myers Halloween a few years earlier, during the unsatisfying prologue.

Nelson is also interested in the moody Cunningham, but their dating attempts constantly lead to confrontations with Haddonfield’s bullies. After one particularly nasty beating, the town’s most notorious outsider takes Cunningham under his wing. Soon, he and Myers are hunting together, but he still pursues a relationship with Nelson, even though Strode can sense he is under Myers’ influence.

Compared to the previous films in Green’s Halloween trilogy, Ends is a major disappointment. Whereas the first two films were big, grandly chaotic, and intensely exhausting, the new film just feels small. Kills graphically depicted the way Myers’ evil precipitates the entire social breakdown of Haddonfield. End half-heartedly tosses around themes of trauma and recovery, but it is more of an afterthought than a driving concern. For franchise fans, Cunningham also takes far too much screen-time away from Myers.

Outer Range, on Amazon Prime

Disputes over land are a classic motivation for feuding in the West. As things stood, there was already tension between the Abbotts and the Tillersons before Wayne Tillerson filed a claim for Royal Abbott’s western pasture land. Abbott isn’t about to let any of his ranch go without a fight, especially given the secret presence of a mysterious portal thingy. Unfortunately, there are always more questions than answers in creator Brian Watkins’ Outer Range, which premieres tomorrow on Amazon Prime.

Abbott’s family was already reeling from the mysterious disappearance of his daughter-in-law Rebecca, but his young granddaughter Amy is handling it remarkably well. In contrast, his eldest son Perry remains an emotional wreck. Massively inconveniently, he lets one of the loutish Tillerson boys goad him into a lethal parking lot fight. Panicking, he and his brother Rhett bring the body home to Pa, who happens to know the perfect place to dispose of it.

The problem is, when you throw something into the portal, you never know where or when it will come out. Watkins never establishes any rules for the yawning void. Instead of fascinating viewers as a metaphor for the randomness of existence, its unpredictability conspicuously serves Watkins’ interests in moving the plot along. For Royal, there are the additional problems that Autumn, the creepy hippy camping on his land, also knows about the portal, and Wayne Tillerson most likely suspects the existence of something like it.

Throughout Outer Range, the portal is like the well Watkins keeps going back to when he needs to shake things up. Yet, the pacing is still laboriously deliberate (it leans more towards Power of the Dog than The Magnificent Seven). Perversely, it also regularly antagonizes its target audience with Royal Abbott’s raving announcements of the death of God. Faith is something that life beats out of you in Outer Range.

The Devil Below

If only it were Mole People like in the Superman movie or the 1956 drive-in classic (with Hugh Beaumont) that came up from this abandoned mine. Instead, the miners encountered something much more infernal and nether-regional. They did their best to seal it up to protect the outside world, but outsiders come snooping anyway in Bradley Parker’s The Devil Below, which releases this Friday on VOD.

It must take an awful lot for hardened miners in coal country to walk away from a perfectly good mine. Presumably, it was not merely the combustible minerals Darren, a dodgy academic, claims to be investigating. He drags a rag-tag team deep into Appalachia in search of the Shookum Mine, which literally disappeared off maps in the 1970s. The locals do their best to run Darren’s party off, but Ariana, the guide he hired, is unusually (and unfortunately) resourceful.

Eventually, they breach the old barricaded mine, at which point all heck literally breaks loose. Yep, it turns out the locals had a darned good reason for trying to keep them out. Ariana already felt the need for redemption after he last ill-fated expedition. Now, she will need a double-helping.

Devil Below is a nice twist on horror movie traditions, which usually cast hill-and-holler folk as freaky predatory outsiders. In this case, they are the thin red[neck] line, protecting the world from demons or whatever. It also does not hurt having veteran character actor Will Patton portraying the leader of the guardian militia. He really sells the crazy premise with his grizzled gravitas.

Swamp Thing, Now on the CW

The battle of the comic book bayou beasts was really no contest. Marvel had Man-Thing, who is still best remembered as an associate of Howard the Duck. DC published The Swamp Thing, which was written for several years by a young Alan Moore and inspired Wes Craven’s cult-favorite film. A campy sequel and an early 1990s cable series eventually followed. Given DC’s current success with episodic television, it made sense for them to take another whack at the character for their streaming service, but they announced the first season would also be the last, shortly after its premiere. Yet, somewhat appropriately, Xi’s Covid epidemic prompted an opportunity for the mucky brooder to rise again, when the CW picked up the network broadcast rights to season one of Gary Dauberman & Mark Verheiden’s Swamp Thing, which premieres on free TV this Wednesday.

CDC field investigator Dr. Abby Arcane has returned to her hometown of Marais, LA, where some strange viral outbreak has rattled the community (can we relate?). Her teenaged years there were difficult, for tragic reasons we will soon discover, so she is less than thrilled to be back. However, the nature of the pestilence is so severe, she accepts the inevitable awkwardness. Consulting with Alec Holland, a talented but somewhat disreputable scientist hired by local big-wig Avery Sunderland, proves illuminating. He was hired to track the accelerated growth effects of a “mutagen” Sunderland’s business is developing, but he discovered illegal mega-dumpings of the serum have been systematically released into the swamp.

There seems to be a connection between the mutagen and the virus, but the nature of the latter remains unclear. Sadly, Holland winds up dead for his efforts, but not dead enough. Somehow, the mutagen transformed him into a big hulking plant creature—or something like that. His cellular structure is radically altered but he still has his memories and continues to carry a torch for Arcane, who in turn yearns to cure the man she was developing feelings for.

This review is based on the episodes that are available on DVD and VOD, which will be slightly edited for length and content when they air on the CW. That means they will be a bit shorter and slightly less fun, because one of the best aspects of this Swamp Thing are the macabre mutant-plant effects and the wild body horror they often produce.

Regardless, the way the latest Swamp Thing series embraces the horror elements of the franchise is quite effective (logically so, given James Wan’s executive producer imprimatur). The effects really do work and the Southern Gothic elements compliment the mad science quite nicely (from a fan’s perspective). Yet, one of the biggest discoveries is how cool the relatively minor DC Universe super-hero The Blue Devil turns out to be, when given an unexpected supporting role. We’d rather see a spin-off series for him, rather than a second season for Swampy.

Be that as it may, Dauberman & Verheiden’s Swamp Thing earns a lot of good will for showcasing some talented 80’s and 90’s-era character thesps, including 90210’s Ian Ziering, who constantly gives the show a jolt of energy as Daniel Cassidy, who is and will become the Blue Devil. Likewise, it is always entertaining to see Will Patton do what he does best as the villainous Sunderland. Virginia Madsen constantly forces viewers to re-evaluate their assumptions regarding Maria Sunderland, the evil big-shot’s profoundly grieving wife. Yet, it is Jennifer Beals who constantly surprises as the cynical and decidedly unpredictable Sheriff Lucilia Cable.

Crystal Reed manages to project all of Arcane’s guilt-ridden angst without taxing viewer patience, which really is quite an accomplishment. She also forges some genuinely credible chemistry with Andy Bean as the flesh-and-blood Holland and Derek Mears as his giant fungal analog.

For true-green fans, Mears has big, muddy shoes to fill, since the late Dick Durock portrayed the monstrous super-hero in both films and the previous TV series, but he really gives the show tortured soul, very much in the Universal monster tradition. However, there are times when Kevin Durand is maybe a little too campy as the arrogant and untrustworthy scientist, Dr. Jason Woodrue. In contrast, Macon Blair chews the scenery with just the right level of hamminess as the Phantom Stranger.

Reportedly, DC Universe cut their order from thirteen episodes to ten after production commences, so it only stands to reason that plenty of loose ends remain unresolved. Fans should know Anton Arcane, Louis Jordan’s character in the Craven film does not appear in the first and presumably only season, but Adrienne Barbeau chops poor Abby Arcane off at the knees in a special appearance as the CDC’s assistant director. The series gets that kind of fan service right and also offers up a lot of creepy ambiance and macabre imagery. Some of the conspiratorial themes are rather shopworn and conventional, but the supernatural and super-hero elements blend quite smoothly. Recommended as a horror show that carves out its own hybrid-space, Swamp Thing starts its broadcast TV run this Tuesday (10/6), on the CW.

Boarding School: At Least There’s a Low Student-to-Teacher Ratio

At this ultra-Christian academy, they won’t serve Jacob bacon, because he is Jewish and that is their idea of sensitivity. Frankly, he would prefer to have the bacon. There really isn’t much point to their weird attempt to keep him kosher, especially given the staff’s habit of murdering students. However, they probably are not the only psychopaths in Boaz Yakin’s Boarding School (trailer here), which opens tomorrow in Los Angeles.

After Jacob’s supposedly cool step-dad walked in on his cross-dressing episode, he shipped Jacob off to the New England fundy school, to spare the nerves of his high-strung mother. The student body is suspiciously small, but Jacob is surprised to find he already knows one of his classmates. Christine is the obnoxiously entitled daughter of his step-dad’s well-heeled boss. Frankly, her anti-social behavior borders on outright sociopathy, but she has a weird fascination with Jacob and his sexuality.

While Christine rebels against sinister headmaster Dr. Sherman’s perverse discipline, Jacob tries to protect the weaker students, with mixed results. He also finds himself drawn to Christine, despite her mean streak. As difficult students not-so mysteriously die off, they start investigating the dodgy school, quickly deducing it is like a Hogwarts for conspicuously inconvenient kids.

If this film had been made fifteen years ago, it would be a legend, but today it is totally ho-hum. These days, a gender identity questioning youth like Jacob could be a budding reality TV star, especially growing up on Manhattan’s Westside (we’re assuming it is the UWS, but maybe it is the Upper East). Frankly, it is hard to believe any Manhattan parents would entrust their kids to the titular boarding school, even (or especially) if it really was what it presented itself to be.

Still, the weirdly sexually-charged and massively dysfunctional relationship that develops between Jacob and Christine is consistently intriguing. The film is at its best when they are verbally sparing. They look pretty young too, which adds further elements of danger, as well as a bit of sexualized ickiness. However, most of the actual horror movie stuff is pretty standard issue—and rather tame, at that.

Regardless, Luke Prael and Sterling Jerins are quite well cast as Jacob and Christine. They truly look and sound like problem children. Will Patton and Samantha Mathis are almost always interesting to watch on screen, but they seem to be bored playing garden variety villains like Dr. Sherman and his accomplice-wife Isabel.

Frankly, Boarding School is more confused than its central character. Most of the time, it feels uncomfortable serving as a horror movie, but it doesn’t have any other ideas. Not recommended, Boarding School opens tomorrow (8/31) in LA, at the Arena CineLounge.