Welcome to Daisyland

Austin Powers had good reasons for being scared of carny folk: “Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Little hands.” This traveling fair is even worse. It is downright evil, in a smells-like-Sulphur kind of way. However, Daisy will try to scheme her way out of the supernatural sideshow that bears her name in the web-series Welcome to Daisyland, directed and co-written by Tony E. Valenzuela, which premieres on BlackBoxTV’s YouTube channel this Thursday (Valentine’s Day).

The first thing you will notice about Welcome is the unsubtly blaring hard rock soundtrack provided by the Dead Daisies (co-founded by series co-executive producer David Lowy). It is so pervasive, it the web-series could almost be dismissed as a collection of music videos for the band, but there is a legit reason for all the swamp rock. Daisy agreed to serve as the “Ringmaster” of the infernal carnival as part of a Faustian bargain she struck with a mysterious demon to bring back her rocker lover after he died from a drug overdose. Now she travels through the forgotten backwaters of flyover country, along Route 666, picking up souls for her master.

The first four episodes introduce some of Daisy’s sinister colleagues and their signature killing styles, but the promised conflict between Daisy and her Mephistophelean puppet master are far more intriguing. Each episode is about five to seven minutes, including the opening and closing credits, so it is not a huge investment of time. Nevertheless, it is not as grabby right out of the gate as the first two episodes of Ravenwolf Towers, which Full Moon seems to have converted from a web series into a feature release.

Nevertheless, Pippa Sonuga has a nice vampy screen presence and maintains the character’s mysteriously ambiguous nature, at least thus far. There seems to be a good deal of improvement over the course of the first episode to the fourth, but it still probably isn’t essential viewing. For fans of the Dead Daisies and carnival-circus-themed horror, Welcome to Daisyland premieres this Thursday (2/14), via BlackBoxTV.

Personal Space: Featuring Commander Richard Hatch

We were optimistic during the Reagan years—even about space exploration. That is when the Overture generation ship launched. We’re not so optimistic about anything anymore, especially not the space program. These are the reality television years, so it is fitting a reality media company has acquired the mission. They will broadcast crew members sessions with the mandatory therapy computer back to Earth and reveal little snippets to their colleagues to foment dissension in the web series Personal Space (awesome trailer here), which launches today.

As the Overture goes where no man has gone before, most of the crew dozes in suspended animation. They will wake in shifts to manage the mission and perform experiments. However, Robert King, the commander of the first shift, has already extended his waking time well past customary protocol. Frankly, he lacks confidence in Gail Gartner, the commander of the second shift, but he is trying not to say so, in so many words. Meanwhile, the abrasively annoying second shift doctor, Stanley “Blasto” Blaszkiewicz is a perfect match for reality TV, whereas the caustic botanist Deborah Li is decidedly not. They are already clashing.

Personal Space has the distinction of being one of the final projects starring the late Richard Hatch, from both Battlestar Galactica series. He is perfectly cast as Commander King—and also a little poignant in retrospect. He mostly plays the role straight (at least judging from the first five webisodes), whereas the rest of the cast specializes in dysfunctional neuroses and goofball antics. Sean Persaud’s Dr. Blasto is definitely not afraid of a little shtickiness, but the biggest laughs so far come from Vivi Thai as the acerbic-tongued Li.

Even though the generation ship is a staple of science fiction literature, it does not turn up in media that often (there was Passengers, but let’s try to forget that one). In this case, the transitional changing-of-the-guard period is an interesting point pick up the journey. The humor is a little hit or miss, but at four to six minutes a pop (depending on whether there is a “post-episode recap” with the studio hosts on Earth), Personal Space does not ask much in terms of time commitment. For a lot of us, it will be worth checking in with it, just to see new work from Hatch, in a science fiction context. Recommended for fans of BSG and classic sf novels, such as Heinlein’s Orphans of the Sky, Personal Space launches today on Amazon, YouTube, and ShareTV.

Ravenwolf Towers: Bonds of Blood

This seedy apartment building is like a roach motel for transients and furtive lovers. They check in . . . Jake, the earnest new assistant manager already starts to question the macabre way things are done in the building, but it is doubtful he can change much during Bonds of Blood, the second episode of Charles Band’s web series Ravenwolf Towers, which premieres today (the first full moon of 2017) on the Full Moon streaming site and Amazon Prime.

Ravenwolf’s first episode, Bad Mary, was hooky and intriguing, making Bonds look like a relative sophomore slump in comparison. Rather oddly, the episode’s big reveal comes rather early in the episode. It turns out Mary, the pretty girl living on the eleventh floor with the rest of her freaky evil family is maybe not so innocent as viewers and Jake previously assumed. The assistant manager will come in direct conflict with her mutant brood when he tries to protect the new tenants: a pair of fan service-providing lesbian lovers.

Frankly, aside from the scoop on Mary, Bonds does not appear to hold a lot of long-term narrative significance. However, it certainly suggests Sonny H. King could very well emerge as the fan favorite for his salty work as Benji, the massively cynical building manager. He is reason enough to come back for more in twenty-nine days. Bonds of Blood streams today, with the DVD release coming January 20^th.

Ravenwolf Towers: Full Moon in Webisode Form

In the lunar cycle, there are 29.53 days between full moons. Those of us whose jobs do not depend on the tides ordinarily do not keep track of such things, but fans of Charles Band and the particular style of his horror movie production company Full Moon Features now have a reason. His new web series will premiere a new episode every full moon, which will make its airings even less predictable than NBC’s NewsRadio in the late 1990s. Yet, if you are a diehard brand fan, you will probably be checking anyway. Casual genre viewers will also be amused by the Full Moon aesthetic applied to the Grand Hotel formula when Bad Mary, the first episode of Ravenwolf Towers premieres today on Full Moon’s Streaming site.

The titular hotel was once an opulent palace, but it has degenerated into a skid row flop, except for the top story. A family of apparently financially secure inbred mutants keeps the 11^th floor all to themselves and they expect management to respect their privacy. As of episode one, this now includes Jake, the new assistant manager. He is a bit of a sad sack, but he perks up when he meets Mary from the top floor clan, who happens to be rather attractive, like Ravenwolf’s Marilyn Munster.

Band helms a surprisingly atmospheric premiere, but thanks to his showman’s instincts, he also has the commercial sense to open with a sex scene, making Ravenwolf totally cable-ready and fanboy-friendly. Right from the start, he doles out some intriguing backstory and the run-down setting is rather evocative. The cast largely plays it straight, including Evan Henderson as the somewhat spaced-out Jake. Cult movie fans will also get a kick out of super-busy horror movie regular Maria Olsen chewing some scenery as Mabel, the duly sinister daughter of the freaky clan’s ailing patriarch.

Based on the thirty-one minute first installment, Ravenwolf definitely has potential, like a riff on the old James Brolin Hotel series, but with body horror, deformity exploitation, nudity, and at least two mad scientists. (We’ll let you know if subsequent episodes are open for review.) Of course, a season one DVD has already been announced, but in the meantime, Band and Olsen fans can keep watching the moon. For Full Moon subscribers, Bad Mary is now available on their streaming platform.

Single by 30: His Best Friend is Back, on YouTube Red

It is too bad torch carrying is only an exhibition event at the Olympics, because Peter Ma would be a cinch to medal. Twelve years after high school graduation, he still pines for his platonic best friend Joanna. Just as he turns the big three-oh, she moves back home to Los Angeles. It turns out, she even remembers their My Best Friend’s Wedding pact from senior year. In five months, she too will turn thirty, the age when they agreed to get hitched as a last resort. She revives their compact, as a motivational device to get them both back out there on the dating scene. At least, that is what they tell each other in Single by 30 (trailer here), the new web-series from Wong Fu Productions, which premieres on YouTube Red this Wednesday.

Supposedly, knowing Peter and Joanna are each other’s back-up plan will give them the confidence to take chances, like a safety net for a trapeze artist. When they similarly motivated each other to ask out homecoming dates, it worked out much better for her than for him. Yet, he is still down to try. Of course, viewers can immediately tell they are perfect for each other (and maybe they can too).

Nevertheless, to Peter’s great surprise, he has far greater success with the internet dater Joanna selects for him, than she does with his (deliberately flawed) pick. At least that is the case in the second and third episodes (out of the initial three made available to the media). However, she might not be as available as she lets on. It is clear from the start, she carries her own torch for the ex now engaged to her former college friend.

If this sounds familiar, you might have seen the earlier spec pilot that generated plenty of views online. They started fresh with the series proper, so Ma’s new irresponsible best pal from college is now Mark, played by “YouTube star” Eric Ochoa. In fact, most of the young, attractive cast are ‘net famous through YouTube or Vine, which should make you feel old, even if you can look past thirty as a ridiculously ominous deadline.

Regardless, the cast is admittedly attractive and often pleasantly amusing. Harry Shrum, Jr is appealingly down-to-earth as Peter M. and musician Kina Grannis is undeniably charming as Joanna (evidently, she will have to get married if she ever wants to have a surname). So far, their Moonlighting will-they-or-won’t-they chemistry is quite effective. Ochoa and Hillary Anne Matthews (two “t’s”) generate a lot of Tinder-Generation laughs as Mark, the self-styled player and Chloe, Joanna’s game-playing roommate. Manon Mathews (one “t”) probably contributes the wryest humor as Lisa, Joanna’s married college bestie and Chloe’s older sister. Anna Akana adds plenty of attitude as Ma’s DJ sister Grace, but Alexandra Metz’s Sarah just seems too cool to be interested in a luckless loser like Ma (presumably that will not last).

SB30 might not be enough to justify a YouTube Red account, but it is an enjoyable way to spend time online. Although Grannis is a talent in her own right, SB30 clearly suggests she and her social media-promoted co-stars have some real potential in front of the camera. Generally speaking, creators Wesley Chan & Philip Wang stay within safe rom com territory, but their dialogue is surprisingly sharp and it is well served by the principle cast’s crisp timing. Recommended for those looking for some of-the-moment relationship comedy, Single by 30 releases this Wednesday (8/24) on YouTube Red.