Due
to a childhood trauma, Johnny Taylor has an aversion to all water, except
bong-water. Unfortunately, he is about to have a breakthrough. Instead of
fearing the water, it will bring out the latent woman-hating serial killer
inside him in Jared Cohn’s Death Pool (trailer here), which releases
today on DVD from MTI Home Video.
As
a boy, Johnny Taylor (not to be confused with the vastly more talented Stax
soul singer Johnnie Taylor) was nearly drowned for sport on several occasions by
his pretty baby sitter. The experiences scarred him in ways the twentynothing
has never recovered from. Living on handouts from his guilt-ridden parents, the
porn actor washout accepts a part-time pool cleaning gig with his running mate
Brandon. Returning with the intention of hooking up with a client, Taylor
drowns her instead. Voila, water phobia gone. Of course, this process will
repeat in numerous, unlikely ways.
Based
on Death Pool, it is easy to see why
so many San Fernando Valley residents wanted to secede from Los Angeles. Taylor’s
killings are reckless, impulsive acts, during which time he takes absolutely no
precautions to minimize physical evidence. Frankly, the LAPD is ridiculously
tardy identifying him as the killer.
However,
we get plenty of drug fueled porn parties to stoke Taylor’s predatory rage.
There is no question Death Pool must
be the most misogynistic horror film in many a moon. It also looks cheap and
grubby. Heck, you would probably find better production values on a San
Fernando porn shoot.
Therefore,
it is rather sad to see emerging genre star Sara Malakul Lane (Sun Choke, Kickboxer: Vengeance, as well
as half a dozen previous Cohn films) appearing in Death Pool as Scarlet, the ex who broke Taylor’s black heart. At
least she lends a bit of professionalism to the otherwise depressing affair.
Randy Wayne isn’t exactly a riveting presence as Taylor, but he seems to be
enjoying himself to a problematic degree.
