In
addition to their well-publicized sins, you can also accuse the Weinsteins of
being poor stewards of 1980s horror franchises. Amityville: The Awakening had some merit and a name director, but
they turned it into a punchline by streaming it for free on google. Likewise, Hellraiser: Judgement might have been
something, but it was under-funded and ultimately copped out at the very last
minute. In this case, we’re just talking about a bad movie. You can hear the sound
of a franchise expiring during John Gulager’s Children of the Corn: Runaway (trailer here), which releases
today on DVD.
We’re
getting pretty far afield of Stephen King’s original short story, but Runaway still invokes his name. Its
rather surprising how much children and corn has already passed under the
bridge. The story was first the inspiration for one of the earliest “Dollar
Babies,” “Disciples of the Crow,” which managed to get some distribution by
being in the right place at the right time. There was the proper 1984 Hollywood
adaptation that many fans have a nostalgic affection for, probably because they
remember seeing it in drive-ins or second-run theaters that no longer exist.
There were seven subsequent sequels and a Syfy Channel reboot, which this film
follows chronologically, so yes, this is a straight-to-DVD sequel to a Syfy original
movie. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
Ruth,
formerly known as Sandy, has been on the run with her newborn son, since she
left the cult and set fire to the cornfields in Children 2009. Aaron is now a surly pre-teen, who doesn’t
understand why his mom is so paranoid. Like it or not, they will have to spend
time in a dusty Oklahoma burg, so Ruth finally considers putting down some
roots. She even gets a mechanic job with Carl, the gruff but charitable filling
station owner. Unfortunately, there is an angelic little cult-member girl who occasionally
kills adults when the movie really starts to drag.
And
does it ever. This is one of the dullest horror movies you could ever hope to
see. It devotes an unfathomable amount of time to Ruth and Aaron ordering food
at the local diner. Seriously, there are time when it feels like we are
watching corn grow. Yet, whenever the ever so petite “Pretty Girl” carves up
another victim, it just looks utterly ridiculous on-screen.
Frustratingly,
both Marci Miller and Lynn Andrews III have talent and they spark off each
other quite well in their scenes together as Ruth and Carl, but they really don’t
have anyone or anything else to work with here. The story makes little sense
and the supposed twist is glaringly obvious. However, Gulager has a couple of big
aerial shots, so there’s that.
