Comparative religions student Laura Milton (fittingly) is present in the Turin exhibition when an elite team of Satan’s minions, led by the mysterious Liz, steal the shroud. They also kidnap Milton, suspecting she could be “useful,” but they leave her friend, Father Marconi for dead. However, with his dying breath, he graciously offers himself as an earthly vessel to Michael, who accepts.
It turns out Liz and Dr. Laurent, her evil geneticist, need the shroud to clone Christ’s DNA, to use him as a vessel for their dark lord. They tried before with regular mortals, but they were not strong enough to withstand the evil one’s power and rage. Conveniently, the unfortunate Milton looks like an excellent candidate to carry and birth their unholy infant.
This is definitely a Revelations-level crisis, but Michael quickly lays plans for his assault on their stronghold. He only stops for some intel gathered by Cardinal Vincini, a hardline demonologist, who was packed off into retirement, because he was considered a little too intense. Recent events have certainly vindicated him, but neither he or Michael is inclined to much care what people think.
One can only wonder what the Saints in Heaven might think of this film. It is basically Paradise Lost mixed with Jurassic Park, on an angel dust bender. This is the most over-the-top, deranged horror film to get a professional release since Will Klipstine’s The Harbinger, but that film somehow comes together at the end, whereas Devil Conspiracy undermines a lot of its wacky good will with a spirit-crushing seen-it-a-million-times-before ending, obviously intended to set up a sequel.
It is a shame, because most of the third act sustains a frenzy archetypal good versus evil clashes, executed through guns-blazing action sequences. This film literally goes to Hell and back several times over. The focal point for it all is the Satanists’ nifty looking fortress, supposedly erected over the crack in the Earth, where Michael pile-drove Satan into Hell.
Conspiracy is often deranged but it looks surprisingly polished. Its logic is dubious, but there is consistency and method to its madness. There is a weird kind of inspiration at work here, unlike 36 Saints, a somewhat thematically similar movie, which will probably be playing on every movie screen during End Times, to punish the wicked. So, brace yourself, because The Devil Conspiracy opens this Friday (1/13) in theaters, including the AMC Empire in New York.
