Primitive War, from Fathom Events

Somehow, Robert McNamara left this part out of the shameful book he wrote to disavow his responsibility for presiding over the Vietnam War. Of course, it is fictional, because living dinosaurs were never discovered in-country. However, it aptly represents the bad decision-making imposed from above on junior officers, NCO’s, and their squads and platoons, by politicians and senior officers. Fortunately, Vulture Squad has a talent for improvising and an aversion to buck-passing. Consequently, when they discover a top-secret Soviet operation unleashed dinosaurs in Vietnam, they take decisive counter-measures in director-screenwriter Luke Sparke’s Primitive War, which is now playing in theaters, via Fathom Events.

Col. Amadeus Jericho allowed Sgt. Baker to hand pick the “Dirty Dozen”-worthy members of his Vulture Squad, because he knew Baker could get the job done. Thanks to their latest rescue operation, there will be two less missing POW’s. Obviously, their next mission will be dicey, considering Jericho’s caginess regarding the on-the-ground circumstances. Baker’s men are supposed to extract any surviving Green Berets and report any unusual observations. Presumably, the dinosaurs will qualify.

It turns out this is all the Soviets’ fault, particularly Dr. Borodin, the mad scientist whose experiment opened a wormhole, which all the really dangerous dinosaurs stepped through (as well as some of the herbivores, like stegosauruses and brontosauruses). Baker even captures a motivated informant, paleontologist Sophia Atalar, who was recruited by Borodin to study the dinosaurs. Despite his orders, Baker realizes Vulture Squad must stop Borodin’s research by any means necessary. However, to reach the hidden Soviet base, Baker and his men must evade a squad of raptors and a pair of very upset tyrannosaur parents.

It is important to note some of the worst dinosaur effects come in early scenes, so resist snap judgements. As the film progresses, the quality of the dinosaur renderings improves dramatically. In fact, some of the later scenes are shockingly cool. In all likelihood, if Primitive War had released a year before Jurassic Park, it would still be considered legendary.

Regardless, the depictions of warfighting are always viscerally gritty and realistic. There is nothing cartoony about Vulture’s Squad’s recon and rescue business. If anything, depicting the battles and wartime conditions took priority over the dinosaur apocalypse. Yet, the mordantly sly, cynical, and foul-mouthed dialogue rings even truer than the scrupulously realistic blood and muck.

The ensemble cast couldn’t get much grittier either, starting with Ryan Kwanten as steely Sgt. Baker. Arguably, this is his best film work in years. The rest of the squad also looks and acts credibly battle-tested. Sparke does not exactly over-indulge in backstories or character-building, but Carlos Sanson, Nick Wechsler, and Aaron Glenane have sufficient screen presence to differentiate and distinguish their characters.

The Invisible Raptor

Roger Corman would have approved of this gimmick. Suckers People are always interested in dinosaurs, but if they are invisible, you can save a lot on special effects. Yet, rather surprisingly, it is Spielberg who gets regular hat-tips and shoutouts rather than the King of the B’s in this dino-mash-up. Even more shockingly, the results are consistently funny, but never cloyingly campy throughout Mike Hermosa’s The Invisible Raptor, which opens this Friday in theaters and on VOD.

Dr. Grant Walker was once a promising paleontologist, but now he hosts attractions at the Dinosaur Theme Park Museum. Unfortunately, some of the scents will attract the invisible velociraptor that escapes from Dr. Wille Walsh’s lab. If you are wondering how he created it, his assistant simply explains by asking “have you seen Jurassic Park?”

Screenwriters Mike Capes and Johnny Wickam frequently return to Spielbergian themes and motifs, obviously including Walker’s Indy-ish hat. (There is also a little boy named Elliott, and the list goes on.) However, Denny Denielson, the “Museum” security guard, and his “shortcomings,” are not very Spielbergian. However, Walker’s reconnection with his former college girlfriend Amber, during a time of crisis, has plenty of precedent, but she still has more attitude than you might expect. Yet, when it comes to attitude, Henrietta McCluckskey, the foul-mouthed owner of a chicken farm, notorious for her bizarre late-night commercials, is in a league by herself.

Somehow, the unlikely gang of four will take a stand against the marauding invisible raptor, but it is not easy for any of them to get their acts together. Of course, the cops would be useless even under normal circumstance, so good luck convincing them to look out for an invisible raptor.

Invisible Raptor is a bit uneven (shocker, I know), but it lands more often than not. There is little mugging (except maybe sometimes from David Shackelford as Denielson, the saddest trailer park redneck ever), because Capes and Wickam’s dialogue is usually sufficiently funny to deliver straight. Likewise, the third act climax is absolutely ridiculous, but it is also hilarious, because it makes twisted sense in the context of the film.

Valley of the Dinosaurs: Forbidden Fruit

Zeitgeisty media often come in twos. Usually, it is similarly themed films that release around the same time, like Armageddon and Deep Impact or Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down. We’ve had dueling Coco Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent movies. It happens in TV too. Literally fifty years ago today, two animated children’s series about modern-day families transported back to prehistory debuted. One was the hybrid-stop-motion Land of the Lost. The other was a traditional cell-animated adventure from Hanna-Barbera. Although it was not a huge hit, there was probably enough early-1980s syndication and licensing for Valley of the Dinosaurs to make an impression with some Gen X’ers, even though we probably missed the initial episode, “Forbidden Fruit” when it premiered on this day in 1974.

Logically, professor John Butler and his wife Kim took their entire family on his Amazonia research trip, including their dog Digger. Frankly, we can accept Digger, because he causes far less trouble than his bratty son Greg, who is the one they should have left behind. He will be quite a burden for his older teen sister Katie, who is often the one who must corral him. Nevertheless, they were all together in the raft that was swept up into a vortex and sucked into a “world that time forgot.”

Fortunately, Gorok’s neanderthal family befriends the Butlers, teaching them how to survive in their extreme new environment. They match up pretty well, since Gorok and Gara have a teen son, Lok and a younger daughter Tana. They even have a baby stegosaurus, Glump, who becomes Digger’s playmate.

In fact, Digger and Glump are all kinds of likably cute. Dogs and dinosaurs are definitely sure-fire, evergreen animation subjects, which were in Hanna-Barbera’s wheel house. Nineteen years before Jurassic Park, animation was still the best way to present humans and dinosaurs in the same frame. However, Valley probably did not earn many paleontologists’ endorsements, especially when “Forbidden Fruit” portrays a rampaging brontosaurus.

However, it evokes all kinds of archetypes when he Butlers mistakenly harvest the “forbidden fruit” reserved for Maligue, the giant (vegetarian) brontosaurus. Of course, most of the Butlers heed Gorok’s warning, but not Greg, who was a proto-Gen Z’er, refusing to listen to his Boomer parents, way back in 1974. Of course, Maligue smells his fruit, so he comes looking for Greg’s stash.

Shrewdly, Hanna-Barbera did not waste time with a long, drawn-out origin story. They give viewers the essentials every week in the opening credit sequence. Instead, they jump right into the adventures. Obviously, this series follows a formula, in which the Butlers’ ignorance (most often Greg’s) land them in trouble, but the scientific knowledge of Prof. John (who resembles a white-haired George Peppard) helps save the day. Perhaps when they are rescued, he will bring back some dinosaur DNA, just for the sake of science.