Exit Protocol, Starring Dolph Lundgren & Michael Jai White

When your job is assassinating assassins, you probably aren’t contributing much to your 401K. Yet, Sam Hayden is somehow surprised when his boss takes out a contract on him. Nevertheless, he still wants to complete his latest job, retired assassin Charles Managold, even though they sometimes must cooperate to survive the other hit squads. It is awkward, but Hayden and Managold work together better than Cuomo and Sliwa in Shane Dax Taylor’s Exit Protocol, which releases this Friday in theaters and on VOD.

Usually, Hayden’s marks have it coming, maybe even the ones that trouble his conscience. Managold was one of the worst, until he first found Danique Kellar and then found God. Unfortunately, Hayden has now found them, but the notorious Managold’s skills are as good as advertised. Hayden is better prepared for his second attempt, until his colleagues Isaac Florentine and “Wicked” show up, guns blazing, in his general direction.

Despite still hoping to complete his contract, Hayden forges an uneasy alliance with Managold. It is probably because of the visions he sees of his late girlfriend, Nona Messenger. Her scenes are weirdly clumsy. At first, Taylor presents her as if she were of the flesh, but he soon reveals her “ghostly” status shortly thereafter. Perversely, almost every subsequent appearance tries to shock us with another revelation regarding her backstory, but it is all very silly and hopelessly telegraphed. Frankly, the only thing Messenger’s character manages to accomplish is reminding viewers of the vast superiority of The Sixth Sense.

Nevertheless, Dolph Lundgren and Michael Jai White continue to be two of the most reliable stars of VOD action. Frankly, Lundgren shows some acting chops as Managold, especially in his scene discussing his conversion. In the case of White (playing Florentine), his delivery manages to wring some dry humor out of screenwriter Chad Law’s pedestrian dialogue. He and Lundgren maintain their instant credibility administering beatdowns.

The Old Woman with the Knife

She is the sort of greybeard you might work with at your company who knows where all the bodies are buried. In her case, it is because she killed them. It is all part of the job when you work for an assassination firm. The founder used to refer to their work as “pest control,” but the new management takes a more mercenary approach. Their clash of corporate cultures turns deadly in Min Kyu-dong’s The Old Woman and the Knife, which opens this Friday in theaters.

Ryu was a hired killer, but he had a keen sense of right and wrong. He and his wife took the woman he would dub “Nails,” which eventually evolved into “Hornclaw,” into their home when they found her near-dead on the street. He subsequently inducted her into his real business when—in self-defense—she shows an aptitude for it.

Over the years, Hornclaw became a folk legend among assassins, even after her mentor’s spectacularly bloody demise. She is still active, but the assignments aren’t what they used to be. From what she can see, the firm now mostly passes on the cases she and Ryu specialized in, opting for better paying but more ethically questionable gigs.

Unfortunately, Hornclaw’s age starts to catch up with her—almost fatally. Frankly, she would not have been a goner had Kang, a widower veterinarian, not taken the unconscious hit-lady back to his animal clinic for emergency treatment. In Hornclaw’s world, no good deed goes unpunished, especially if it leaves witnesses, but she is tired of compromising her principles. She is also already tired of “Bullfight” the reckless, borderline psychotic new assassin her boss recruited.

This is exactly the sort of nifty Korean thriller that Hollywood might option to remake, but would inevitably foul-up. Somehow, it manages to be simultaneously gritty and slick. Most of all, it is terrific showcase for veteran thesp Lee Hye-young as the Eastwoodesque Hornclaw. Her performance serves as a thoughtful contemplation on aging and all the bad karma that accrues over a lifetime.

Baby Assassins

Sometimes, on-the-job training is better career prep than advanced course work. Murder-for-hire colud be one of those vocations. It seems to suit Chisato Sugimoto and Mahiro Fukagawa, despite their conflicting Odd Couple personalities. They are compatible professionally, but their employer also insists they room together in Yugo (Hugo) Sakamoto’s high body-count comedy Baby Assassins, which releases today on VOD.

Sugimoto is cute and bubbly, whereas Fukigawa is a withdrawn self-avowed sociopath. Together, they have a knack for killing, but holding down their company-mandated part-time cover jobs is a different story, especially for Fukigawa. Unfortunately, their latest target was Yakuza-connected, which displeases the boss, Ippei Hamaoka. Only he should be able to kill his people. As part of his female-centric makeover of his gang, Hamaoka instructs his daughter Himari to find and eliminate the killers.

Eventually, matters escalate into a full-blown war between the Yakuza and the two clueless high school grads. However, it is more likely the two roommates will kill each other before Hamaoka’s enforcers can get their act together. This is a comedy, but Sakamoto is not fooling around when it comes to the action. There are some brutal, no-holds-barred fight scenes and plenty of headshot-style executions. It almost feels like a Miike film, but it is lighter, leaner, and more down-to-business focused.

ECCO: The Latest Assassin Anti-Hero

Michael is a lot like Jason Bourne, but at least he does not have any commitment issues. He would be perfectly happy to settle down and start a family, but his shadowy past will not let him in director-screenwriter Ben Medina’s ECCO, which opens today in Jersey.

Michael never told his wife Abby about his shadowy past, partly because he is not one hundred percent sure of it himself. Now gainfully employed on a fishing boat, we can assume his history involves the contract killing that opened the film, or else why would Medina show it to us? Presumably the sailor who is lucky at cards was once the assassin who pulls off a spectacular hit on a private plane and then goes home to Aubrey, his fashion photographer girlfriend.

As viewers might expect, bad guys will be stalking the silent, brooding anti-hero in both timelines—and they will come loaded for bear. Frankly, the details regarding the shadowy group Michael was formerly associated with remain sketchy throughout the film. In fact, Medina seems to rely on audience familiarity with previous covert conspiracy capers to fill in the blanks on their own.

That is certainly problematic, but the greater concern is Medina’s sluggish pacing. This film takes an awfully long time just to get out of the blocks. Partly, that is due to the stylized, vintage 1970’s paranoid thriller vibe he is going for. A little of that is cool, especially given Duncan Cole strikingly stylish noir cinematography, but after a while it impedes the suspense and dampens the energy level. Plus, the hazy villain walks with a limp—a rather unfortunate bit of stereotyping, but one that rarely ever gets called out.

Still, Lathrop Walker is quite good as Michael and Helen Grace Donald is notably both seductive and ultimately quite haunting as Aubrey. In fact, the ensemble is quite good, but they have their work cut out for them, due to what is on the page. Basically, the dialogue is over-written and the narrative is under-written. Yet, it still clocks in with a running time just over two hours.

It is tricky to write about ECCO, because there are obviously a lot of twists that should be not be spoiled, even though most astute viewers will be way ahead of the film. It also boasts some slickly executed action scenes, but there is too much slack in between. We respect the look and feel of ECCO, but still can’t recommend it when it opens today (8/9) in Jersey, at the AMC Jersey Gardens and the AMC Palisades.