Stealing Pulp Fiction

During the mid-1990s, tons of filmmakers “stole” from Quentin Tarantino. Presumably the mediocre ones were only borrowing. Regardless, he must be used to getting ripped-off by now, but he understandably draws the line at physical theft. Of course, a couple of knuckleheaded movie buffs prefer to consider it a sincere form of flattery when they get the bright idea to rob Tarantino’s personal print of Pulp Fiction from his own movie theater in director-screenwriter Danny Turkiewicz’s Stealing Pulp Fiction, which opens this Friday in theaters.

If Jonathan and Steve saw this film, they would probably slam it for being a pale carbon copy. After watching a special screening of Tarantino’s print at a theater not specifically identified as the New Beverly (presumably for legal reasons) they hatch the brilliant to steal it. The “and do what” part is always a little vague. For such an undertaking, they will need some back-up, so they recruit Jonathan’s caustic frenemy, Elizabeth, whom Steve carries a torch for.

Ill-advisedly, the criminal masterminds also enlist their mutual shrink, Dr. Mendelbaum, who recently moved his practice into the back room of a martial arts dojo. It is there that another patient, Rachel, catches Jonathan’s eye. Their plan is not particularly well-thought-out, but they roll with it, at least until Tarantino’s presence at the second screening gives them cause to pause and reconsider.

There is no question Seager Tennis’s portrayal of Tarantino, or “Quentin F’ing Tarantino,” as the film calls him, is by far the funniest thing going for it. In fact, Tarantino would probably laugh at Tennis’s tough guy persona, which would not be out of place in his films. Unfortunately, Jason Alexander gets a lot more screen time as the ultra shticky Mandelbaum. Basically, his performance is on par with his cheesy mayonnaise commercials.

Frankly, it must be hard for Cazzie David, Larry David’s daughter, to see Alexander sink to such levels. However, she maintains her dignity as the ruthlessly snarky Elizabeth, whose withering commentary often echoes the audience’ sentiments.

To their credit, Jon Rudnitsky and Karan Soni labor like rented pack mules trying to make the material work. In fact, they arguably scratch out some appealing buddy chemistry as Jonathan and Steve, but it is not nearly enough to save the film.

Clearly, Turkiewicz intended Stealing to serve as a love letter to Tarantino’s films, but it is just too precious and it utterly lacks any discernable edge. He has the color palate right and incorporates some of Tarantino’s visual flair, but the humor has no bite. Not recommended, Stealing Pulp Fiction opens this Friday (6/27) at the Los Feliz in LA and next Friday (7/4) in New York, at the Quad.