V/H/S/Halloween, on Shudder

Most anthology films are like trick-or-treats bags on Halloween night. There’s always a lot of stale candy corn mixed in with the candy bars. In this case, the ratio of candy corn to candy bars is annoyingly high. However, each installment faithfully respects the found footage format and the theme. A new V/H/S anthology film has become a Halloween tradition on Shudder, so they truly embrace the holiday with a series of Halloween festivities that go spectacularly awry in V/H/S/Halloween, which premieres tomorrow on Shudder.

Ironically, the least Halloweeny parts of V/H/S/Halloween are the framing bits, known collectively as Bryan M. Ferguson’s “Diet Phantasma.” Supposedly, Diet Phantasma is a Halloween soda, but it is a little too horrific, causing outlandishly gory side-effects for the test subjects. Frankly, these wrap-arounds are rather confusing, because it is never clear what is the nature of the soda that makes it so deadly, and illogical, because killing off one test subject after another creates huge legal liabilities in the real world.

Likewise, the trick-or-treating gone horribly wrong premise of Anna Zlokovic’s “Coochie Coochie Coo” is all too familiar buy now. The two mean girl prospective victims are also a chore to spend time with. This segment is only really distinguished by some gross-out imagery.

Fortunately, it is followed by one of the strongest constituent films, “Ut Supra Sic Infra,” directed by Paco Plaza, co-creator of the [REC] franchise. After a Halloween party ends in a mysterious massacre, the police bring the sole survivor to the scene of the crime for a re-creation of the deadly events. For reasons that make horror movie sense, the found footage cuts out after someone reads the cryptic titular inscription on the wall three times. Unwisely, they make it a scrupulously faithful re-creation. The results are wild and macabre. If anything, this segment could have been drawn out longer, but least it never overstays its welcome.

Arguably, that is exactly what Casper Kelly’s “Fun Size” does. It also features teens who are a little too old and a little too rude for trick-or-treating, but they encounter a more original danger. It starts with a bowl full of weird, retro-sounding candy nobody recognizes. The sign says only one per person, but one idiot takes two. Suddenly, the bowl magically sucks them into a sinister candy factory, where they are menaced by a massively creepy pumpkin-headed ghoul. At first, it is subversively funny, but then it starts to drag.

Still, the sins of “Fun Size” are forgivable, unlike Alex Ross Perry’s “Kidprint.” This one is hard to watch for multiple reasons, starting with the intentionally grainy VHS effects. It is also disturbingly brutal. As it opens, the owner of a A-V store is doing a brisk business for his kid IDs, because of a serial killer stalking the town. Many parents won’t let their children attend Halloween parties, until they have their identifying documents. Much to proprietor’s horror, he discovers one of his employees is the killer, who has chosen his victims from the Kidprints on file.

He doesn’t just kill, He also tortures in scenes that are truly too sadistic to watch. Seriously, what the heck was everyone thinking? Be warned, because “Kidprint” is way, way beyond too much. If you enjoy this segment to any extent, please seek professional help.

If you’re still watching, the final story, Michelle Pitt-Norman and R.H. Norman’s “Home Haunt,” is much easier to take. Initially, it sets up the generation cap widening between a moody teenager and his corny father, who embarrassingly insists on mounting their annual DIY fun house yet again. However, the night takes a turn into lunacy when dad’s cheesy decorations come to life and start killing people. Fans will be especially pleased to see makeup legend Rick Baker making a cameo appearance as the nasty neighbor. Frankly, this segment is utter chaos, but that is why it is also a lot of fun.

In the case of V/H/S/Halloween, less would have definitely been more. As it stands, it is sabotaged by too much cruelty and an excessively grotesque fascination with body parts and fluids. Yet, there are some clever pieces of candy mixed into the candy corn, especially from Plaza. Only recommended for selective cherry-picking but not straight-through watching (so you can skip “Kidprint” entirely and fast-forward through “Diet Phantasma”), V/H/S/Halloween starts streaming tomorrow (10/3) on Shudder.