Professionals, on CW

Special operators (a.k.a. professionals) are a lot like teachers or economists. Some are good and some are bad. Only lawyers and government bureaucrats are mostly evil. The Swann Corporation happens to have both good and bad operators on the payroll. Visionary genius Peter Swann has the good ones and his half-sister Zora has the bad ones. Initially, he is not sure Zora realizes how bad her lover’s outfit truly is. Regardless, he needs protection from his rivals in showrunners Michael Colleary & Jeff Most’s 10-episode Professionals, which premieres tomorrow on the CW.

Swann had a grand ambition to launch a revolutionary satellite that would give his lover Dr. Graciela Davila advanced warning of global pandemics. Their goal would be to prevent them rather than profit off them. Unfortunately, that won’t be happening, since the rocket exploded on take-off.

As luck would have it, Davila happens to know someone with the skillset Swann needs. She was once involved with Vincent Corbo in a previous war zone. Of course, Corbo immediately figures out the explosion was sabotage, but it had to be an inside job. It does not take long to connect the dots to Luther Bruhn, who has apparently charmed Swann’s half-sister, Zora.

Clearly, Swann has trouble with his board, which ill-advisedly includes at least one Russian gangster. He also has to worry about his rebellious daughter Jane, who is not being treated right by her wannabe gangster-rapper boyfriend. Corbo must also contend with his own family distractions, supplied by his angry carjacking brother Danny. To protect his screw-up sibling, Corbo waylaid Europol officer Kurt Neumann, stealing damning evidence against Tariq Basari, the eurotrash crimelord Danny was indebted to. Inconveniently, that means Neumann will be coming for the Corbo brothers.

Professionals is largely conventional, but it features some really crisp action scenes. It might not sound like a CW show, but it stars Tom Wellin (all grown-up from Smallville) as Corbo. This is definitely a departure from young Clark Kent, but he is believably rugged and hardnosed. Wellin also develops a decent odd couple rhythm with Brendan Fraser’s Peter Swann. This is obviously an older, heavier Fraser compared to his Mummy glory days, but he well-suits the sheltered but brilliant tech mogul.

As Davila, Elena Anaya convincingly mediates between them while their buddy-relationship blossoms. Of course, for teenage boys, the real star of the show will be Tanya van Graan, playing Corbo’s subcontractor Romy Brandt, who certainly looks like she belongs in a South African-European co-production. Corbo’s crew, including her, Nick Rasenti as Jack “Hacksaw” Smythe, and Stevel Marc as Tyler “Trig” Raines, bring a lot of energy and human dimension to the series beyond mere comic relief and sex appeal. It is a likable crew that inspires confidence, which is critical to hooking weekly viewers.

HairBrained: Beat Harvard

Haven’t we all been waiting for the definitive College Bowl movie? They call it Collegiate Mastermind here, but it is the same idea. However, viewers should be prepared to grade on a very generous curve when Billy Kent’s HairBrained (trailer here) opens tomorrow in New York.

Fourteen year-old Eli Pettifog might be a child prodigy, but will have to settle for Whitman College, a small east coast liberal arts school of modest reputation, instead of his dream school: Harvard. Perhaps not unreasonably, he finds himself rooming with Leo Searly, a forty-something (at least) compulsive gambler amidst a mid life crisis. Of course, this only heightens his sense of social isolation. Naturally, the dumbest of the jocks picks on him mercilessly, because his Yahoo Serious hair is simply a magnet for bullying.

Yet, Pettifog starts to make a place for himself when he takes over Whitman’s Collegiate Mastermind team. Powered by Pettifog’s brain, they start crushing their Ivy League competition. Soon the Whitman Warring Hares attract mighty Harvard’s attention—in a bad way.

HairBrained might not be the most original film, but the villains are from Harvard, so it has that going for it. Pettifog’s hair and his Dickensian name are about the only things in the film that are not lightweight. Still, Julia Garner is quite winning as Shauna, the townie prodigy, whom Pettifog takes a shine to. Greta Lee (recognizable to hipsters from her work on Girls) has some moments as well as Pettifog’s teammate, Gertrude. It is also hard to fault Brendan Fraser, who labors like a rented mule trying to make man-child Searly likable.

The problem is Pettifog is just sort of boring, which is obviously a big one considering how much of him there is in HairBrained. Frankly, Real Genius covered similar territory in the 80’s, but with considerably more wit and edge.  Nonetheless, there is a real tonal issue with respects to Pettifog’s mom (a criminally wasted Parker Posey), who is presented within the film as a lovably boozy trollop, but in real life would probably warrant a social services investigation.

There is not much to say after watching HairBrained, except “eh.” To his credit, Kent keeps it moving along at a reasonably healthy pace. It is mostly harmless and professional, but not a lot more. Earning a shrug more than anything else, HairBrained opens tomorrow (2/28) in New York at the Quad Cinema.