Bloodline Killer, on Tubi

It is Halloween night. If horror fans think they know what that means, they are probably right. A masked serial killer will murder Moira Cole’s husband Dillon and leave her grown sons scarred for life (in one case, literally). Perhaps the worst part is the axe-killing comes from inside the family in Ante Novakovic’s Bloodline Killer (a.k.a. The Skulleton), which starts streaming today on Tubi.

Frankly, it would have been worse if Cole had not come out of the house with her firearm loaded and ready. She put several shots in the so-called “Skulleton” killer. It was enough to blast him off her son Conor, but he still manages to get away. Yet, it is not exactly a clean getaway. It turns out the nurse attending the Coles recognizes their description of the masked killer as her brother. Instinctively knowing where he might flee, she finds him, drugs him, and securely chains him up in her basement. He would probably be happier in that mental hospital Michael Meyers kept escaping from.

Years later, the lack of closure torments the Coles. They are also disgusted by the exploitative Skulleton movie franchise, much like the Stab movies in Scream. The Cole Brothers barely contain their mutual hostility, which is awkward, since they both still live with mom. Understandably, she remains reluctant to confess she probably knows the Skulleton and might have witnessed his first murder at an early age. She has suppressed the details, but eventually her ancient-hippy-looking shrink, played by Bruce Dern (a two-time Oscar nominee), will drag it out of her—probably around the time Skulleton escapes for another Halloween killing spree.

Clearly, Novakovic and screenwriters Anthony & James Gaudioso, who play Det. Trusten James and Conor Cole, were inspired by the old school Halloween franchise, including the maligned sequels that made Michael Meyers and Laurie Stode long lost siblings. The early Haddon-esque vibe is quite nice, but the contrivances are annoying and the entire mid-section moves slower than molasses.

Palm Royale, on Apple TV+

Groucho Marx famously quipped: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” Maxine Simmons would not find that funny. She is desperate to join the most exclusive country club in Palm Beach, to assure her entrée into the high society that congregates there in 1969. Naturally, the gate-keepers are dead-set against allowing her in, but the naïve social climber turns out to be quite resourceful in creator Abe Sylvia’s ten-part Palm Royale, which premieres today on Apple TV+.

Simmons is so eager to join the Palm Royale, she scales the wall and invites herself in. Robert, the waiter, will see her out, because one the Korean War vet’s duties is ejecting the riffraff. Of course, Simmons would take exception to that. In fact, she would rather be known as Mrs. D’ellacourt, because her husband, Douglas D’ellacourt Simmons is the black sheep nephew of Norma D’ellacourt, the queen bee of Palm Beach society.

Unbeknownst to Mr. and Mrs. Simmons, Aunt Norma disinherited Douglas and the fell into a minimally conscious, nearly catatonic state. Frankly, she did it because of his marriage to gauche Maxine. Nevertheless, Simmons regularly visits the non-responsive Norma, to “borrow” from her closet. Weirdly, Robert, the obviously closeted (to everyone except Maxine) waiter, has an ambiguously protective relationship with Norma that sets him at odss with Simmons. However, he and the crass social climber will slowly warm to each other.

The other ladies-who-lunch are a different story, especially Evelyn Rollins, who considers herself Norma D’ellacourt’s rightful heir at the top of the social order. To claim her place, Rollins is desperate to get her hands on Aunt Norma’s infamous rolodex, which also holds all the blackmail fodder she has amassed on Palm Beach society.

Palm Royale is billed as a comedy, but at least half the jokes poke fun at the recovering Aunt Norma’s attempts to speak, which come out as grunts and groans. If you think speech disabilities are hilarious than, boy oh boy, are you going to laugh during Palm Royale. You can tell the series is deliberately trying to milk D’ellacourt’s nonverbal utterances for humor, because one or two clearly echo thesp Carol Burnett’s famous Tarzan howls.

As a bonus, Palm Royale also rewrites some history, erasing Kingdon Gould Jr., Nixon’s ambassador to Luxembourg and a WWII veteran, who was awarded two Silver Stars with Oak Clusters and a Purple Heart, replacing him Perry Donahue, Douglas Simmon’s corrupt real estate developer crony. On the other hand, it certainly makes Pres. Nixon look conscientious, apparently holding round-the-clock press conferences, updating the nation on developments in Vietnam, 24-7. Whenever anyone turns on the TV, there he is.

To further confuse matters, it is unclear whether Sylvia and the writers expect viewers to root for or against Maxine. She is tacky, manipulative, opportunistic, and delusional. Yet, she is also idealistic, a relentless self-improver, and in her own way, loyal and faithful. Mrs. Simmons is also keenly patriotic, but it seems like Sylvia and company consider that a questionable virtue. A major subplot involves the efforts of Rollins’s estranged step-daughter Linda Shaw to desert to Canada, which lands quite awkwardly for us grown children of Vietnam veterans. Our perspective and those of our military parents are definitely not included in Palm Royale, not even from Maxine Simmons.

Freaks: Back to the Dystopian Near-Future

It should be reassuring to know the ice creams trucks are still working in the dystopian future. Then again, when was an ice cream man good news in genre cinema? Rather inconveniently, ice cream represents the freedom of outside life to a seven-year-old girl rebelling against the rigid control of her over-protective father. It also tastes delicious. Unfortunately, he has good reason to be concerned for her safety in Zach Lipovsky & Adam B. Stein’s Freaks, which opens this Friday in New York.

This Freaks is very different from Tod Browning’s Freaks. For one thing, they look just like everyone else—but they’re not. At first, it is not exactly clear what is going on in this not-so-very-near-future world. Chloe’s dad acts like the world outside is an apocalyptic wasteland and the news reports of massive terrorist attacks seem to support that impression. However, when Chloe disobediently ventures outside her boarded-up house, her neighborhood looks very much like our here-and-now.

We also soon discover Chloe has some pretty serious powers. Her father insists she is a perfectly normal little girl, but the weird, looks-like-he-should-be-on-a-special-offenders-registry Mr. Snowcone (whose ice cream truck always appears at opportune moments) encourages her to develop her gifts. Sadly, the more her father tries to contain her, the more she resents it, becoming dangerously emotional.

To their credit, Lipovsky & Stein pull off some masterful misdirection in the first act that really keeps us guessing, but the film’s underlying conflict is really nothing new. Frankly, after decades of X-Men comic books and movies, it would be far more interesting to visit a genre world where the super-powered “others” secretly living among us really represent a deliberate and malicious threat to society that must be rooted out. That would also better reflect the perils we face in this day and age, considering the number of foreign agents believed to be operating on our soil as sleeper cells (at least that is what the opening of the sadly canceled The Enemy Within told us).

Young Lexy Kolker is a bit like Drew Barrymore in Firestarter, but scarier and more erratic. Regardless, Emile Hirsch provides the film’s true emotional center as the father who is absolutely desperate to save his daughter. On the other hand, Bruce Dern is way too creepy and sleazy looking for the character of Mr. Snowcone. Seriously, if you saw him loitering around a playground, you would call the cops. Speaking of the law, Grace Park provides a steady and authoritative presence as the moderate sounding Agent Ray, helping to further muddy viewers’ assumptions.

Lipovsky & Stein crank up the tension and the suspense quite adroitly. They succeed in pulling us in and keeping us on pins-and-needles, even though it is rather disappointing how familiar the story turns out to be. Of course, if originality were easy, everyone would do it. Recommended for the tight, tense execution rather than the stale dystopian elements, Freaks opens this Friday (9/13) in Brooklyn, at the Regal Sheepshead Bay.