Man of War: A Former SEAL’s Ukrainian Rescue Mission

Remember in the days leading up to Putin’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine when certain pundits assured us he would never do it? Then, once he did it, they blamed the U.S., because we didn’t sufficiently strenuously object to Ukraine joining NATO. Of course, they wanted to join NATO, because they knew Putin wanted to conquer their nation. Michael Connor is pretty cynical when it comes to geopolitics, but he finds himself fighting Russian shock troops to save his [adopted] niece in William Kaufman’s Man of War, which releases tomorrow on VOD.

Connor was deep into a dark night of the soul when Riley (the daughter of a fallen Ukrainian-American comrade) calls with an S.O.S. Sadistic criminal turned-commando Stanismir Koniev keeps the line open just long enough to taunt Connor. Big mistake. Immediately, Connor calls his former CIA handler, Charlie Lewis, who reluctantly arranges his transport into Ukraine with a group of British operators hoping to extract a high-paying oligarch.

Lewis also connects Connor with a fixer, Dany Sundakov, who has done business with both the CIA and the local underworld. In exchange for helping Connor, Lewis arranges an extraction for Sundakov’s family as well. However, Connor’s cynical “war happens” attitude obviously annoys Sundakov, who is quite understandably offended by the constant shelling and bombing of civilian targets in his country. The more he begrudgingly defends women and children from Putin’s Z-thugs, the more Connor sees Sundakov’s point.

You have to give Kaufman credit, because he actually sets his action films in the real world, which gives them much greater stakes, because the audience understands (or at least they should) the kind of brutality the Taliban is capable of in Warhorse One, and likewise that of Putin’s Wagner mercenaries in Man of War.

Both films also boast super-gritty, skillfully executed action sequences (shot on-location at convincingly realistic sites in Bulgaria). In the case of Man of War, the urban warfare is viscerally believable. Of course, it helps that LaMonica Garrett is a highly credible and physically imposing action lead, while martial arts-specialist Daniel Bernhardt makes Koniev a truly slimy and sadistic villain. He is also true to life, because Putin and the late but not great Wagner leader Prigozhin deliberately recruited violent criminals of his caliber for their dirty war.

Deathstalker, Starring Daniel Bernhardt

Casual viewers might think of fantasy heroes as virtuous Tolkienesque dragonslayers, but for real fans, the irresponsible antiheroes are even more important. Conan was that kind of freebooter and so was Red Sonja (in the books and comics). The title character of Roger Corman’s 1983 rip-off has always been a cult-favorite, because he was so grungy and roguish. The reboot might not share much with the original, but at least the wandering swordsman still refuses to reform himself in Steven Kostanski’s Deathstalker, executive produced by Guns ‘n Roses’ Slash, which opens this Friday in theaters.

As the film opens, the universally despised Deathstalker makes his coin scavenging from dead bodies fallen in battle. That is pretty scummy behavior, but nobody challenges him, because he is too lethal. However, this time around, he “liberated” an amulet from a “mostly dead” knight that apparently carries a curse.

From now on, no matter what he does with it, it always turns up back in his pocket. Making everything worse, a demonic army led by his old nemesis, Jotak, seems hellbent on recovering the amulet, even if it does him serious harm in the process. To lift the curse, he must find Doodad, a little person wizard. However, Deathstalker must first save the sorcerer from his own magical entrapment. Heck, at this rate, Deathstalker is practically becoming heroic.

The ruckus but comfortable combination of bloody carnage and outrageous over-the-top humor will compute for fans of Kostanski’s previous films, such as PG: Psycho Goreman. Deathstalker also reflects the former makeup artist’s passion for practical effects. It doesn’t exactly transport the audience to an immersive fantasy world, but it certainly dives right in, embracing the hacking and slashing, as well as the creature-creation.

Utopia (it is not)

It is a lot like Westworld, with more sex. In addition to similar Old West and ancient Rome adventure options, you can also roleplay a Nazi in the WWII area, to make it even more distasteful. Humanity is basically doomed, but the bad guys intend to make money off the bottoming out. Unfortunately, their plan is especially exploitative in James Bamford’s Utopia, which is now available on VOD.

The adult theme park Utopia operates in the fictional Eastern European country of Astovia, making it part of the “Bamverse,” following the not-so-bad Air Force One Down and the disappointing Shadow Land. The returns now diminish furher. Regardless, former American Special Forces commando Damon Matthew has followed the trail of his semi-ex-girlfriend Alexis to Utopia, which he infiltrates with the remote hacking aid of his old British comrade Rupert.

There he finds her working as one of the hostess-harem girls, with no apparent memory of him or the rest of her past life. To make matters worse, she is clearly the favorite of pervy Karl Tubin, Utopia’s largest silent investor. Matthew and Rupert assume the abducted women were implanted with some sort of AI chip that alters their memory and behavior. Yet, some abducted women, like Joan and Natalie (who had to be “reprogrammed” after the little incident during the prologue) have grown suspicious and perhaps even rebellious.

Compared to Utopia, the Bruce Willis quickie Vice passes for a masterpiece. Basically, this entire film is reverse-engineered around shots of Charlotte Vega, Alix Villaret, and Wanda Banda wearing skimpy attire, in suggestive situations. Unfortunately, Bamford largely wastes legit martial arts veteran Daniel Bernhardt playing Utopia’s security chief, William Sallow.

Chief of Station: Aaron Eckhart’s Next CIA Movie

Many movies depict CIA officers as the bad guys, but in the real world, several CIA station chiefs have been assassinated while serving their country. Tragically, Farrah Malloy will be the next to die in the line of duty. However, her widowed husband is also a CIA officer, with the know-how to find her killers and extract retribution in Jesse V. Johnson’s Chief of Station, which releases tomorrow in theaters and on-demand.

Ben Malloy just ran circles around the FSB (the former KGB) intercepting a courier drop on the streets of Budapest, where his wife is Chief of Station. Then he met her for their anniversary, but it was interrupted by an explosion. Supposedly, it was a gas leak, but Malloy soon suspects otherwise. Since the agency’s general inspector clearly has it in for him, Malloy only trusts Dez, his wife’s former colleague in the cyber division, with his findings.

Technically, he also trusts Nick, who will also soon start working in agency IT, but Malloy does not want him involved. Of course, the mysterious terrorists will inevitably target the son to get to the father.

Much like Aaron Eckhart’s last CIA movie, The Bricklayer, Chief of Station starts with a promising premise, but quickly reverts to standard issue payback VOD action. In this case, Chief is worse, because it chickens out quite cowardly, by making the FSB “friendly” rivals rather than the true bad guys. Just ask Ukraine how the FSB really conducts their business. This is not the mid-1990s. Audiences are craving Russian and CCP Chinese villains, because they want to finally see payback for their oppressive crimes. Instead, the producers apparently cared more about sales in some of most despotic territories on earth.

It is a shame, because Eckhart has the perfect cerebral grittiness for a vengeance-seeking CIA officer like Malloy. Olga Kurylenko has instant action credibility Krystyna Kowerski, an agent Malloy’s wife used to handle. However, screenwriter George Mahaffey literally drops her into the film from out of nowhere, after a full hour of Malloy lone-wolfing, just in time to save his butt.

Extraction 2, on Netflix

Apparently, if you want to kill Tyler Rake, you must drop him in a vat of molten steel, like Robert Patrick in T2. When we last saw Rake in the first film, he fell off a very large bridge in Bangladesh after getting riddled with bullets. However, the film established he could hold his breath under water for a very long time, so there’s that. Regardless, Rake is still alive, so best of luck to all the bad guys who try to kill him in Sam Hargrave’s Extraction 2, which premieres today on Netflix.

At least #2 acknowledges things really looked bad for Rake. As a result, he spends weeks in a coma before undergoing months of rehab. His merc boss Nik Khan just wants him to quietly retire so he can work on all the emotional issues that fueled his near-death wish, but that won’t be happening.

Instead, he agrees to rescue his estranged ex-wife’s sister, young niece, and annoying pre-teen nephew from the heckhole Georgian Republic prison, where they are forced to live with the druglord brother-in-law. Clearly, Davit Radiani still has the juice to demand such accommodations, despite being convicted of murdering an American DEA agent. Understandably, being incarnated with the abusive Radiani is slowly killing Ketevan and her children, but the worshipful Sandro is too brainwashed to see his father’s true nature, or that of his psychotic uncle Zurab. Regardless, Rake will bust them out anyway, whether Sandro likes it or not, with the reluctant help and considerable logistical support provided by Khan and her younger brother Yaz.

The first Extraction, also helmed by Hargrove and written by the Russo Brothers and graphic novelist Andre Parks, had plenty of action and considerable body-count, but #2 surpasses it in all ways. As fans would expect, Chris Hemsworth’s Rake is still quite a one-man killing machine.

However, the big news is how Iranian exile Golshifteh Farahani really comes into her own as a breakout action star. Khan was also part of the climactic shoot-out in #1, but she possibly caps as many bad guys in #2 as Rake does. She is in the thick of it, right from the start, but it is not to make any stilted statement. Khan and Rake are really partners in the on-screen action (technically, he works for her, but you get the point).

That said, Hemsworth still anchors the most brutal hand-to-hand beatdown, as Rake escorts Ketevan through a full-on prison riot, which even overshadows the complicated escape sequence it bleeds into, involving cars, helicopters, and a speeding train. #2 features an extended 21-minute long-take, but viewers will not really notice the technique, because the stunt work is so intense.

Hell Hath No Fury, Featuring Mandylor, Vandenberg, and Bernhardt

People forget Germany first occupied France was during WWI—that’s why the front line was in France. Those who collaborated the first time faced reprisals that they repaid with interest during the National Socialist occupation. Many in turn faced similar or worse humiliation after the Allied liberation, like Marie Dujardin, the former mistress of a high-ranking SS officer. Ironically, Dujardin was in fact a resistance mole, but she has nobody left to vouch for her. However, she has knowledge of a secret stash of gold that is definitely worth something in Jesse V. Johnson’s Hell Hath No Fury, which opens this Friday in Los Angeles.

When we meet Dujardin, she is cooing romantically with the ruthless Von Bruckner. Yet, when their car is ambushed by the resistance, she claims to be on their side. He manages to take care of his would-be executioners, but she gets the drop on him. Or so she thought—those darned glancing face shots. She left him for dead, but she really left him facially scarred.

That leads to a nasty reunion when she leads three American GI’s and Major Maitland, their Kelly’s Heroes-style officer to the cemetery, where she tells them she hid Von Bruckner’s gold. He wants it too—and he is marching their way with all the SS troops still loyal to him.

HHNF is not exactly a love letter to the “Greatest Generation.” Technically, Dujardin is not exactly a stereotypical “woman scorned” either. However, Johnson, the prolific action director, stages some nifty battle sequences. Stuff gets blown-up and Germans get killed many satisfactory ways, but Johnson always keeps it all clean and legible on-screen.

He also has the benefit of a gritty, experienced cast, including Louis Mandylor, who certainly knows his way around a Johnson set (including the Debt Collector movies and maybe half a dozen others). Timothy V. Murphy is a real standout for the grizzled swagger and snarling attitude he brings as the working-class sergeant.

Skylines: Now It’s a Trilogy

Even when you are operating on a galactic scale, it is easier to win the war than win the peace. That is the position Earthlings are in. In the original Skyline, the aliens came and kicked our butts. Then in Beyond Skyline, we got up and booted them off Earth. We took our planet back, but to preserve the peace, we will need much more energy. You know who has a nifty, super-powerful and portable generator? Right, the old mother ship. Reluctantly, Rose Corley and her physically altered brother agree to go take it and maybe settle a few more old scores while they’re at it in Liam O’Donnell’s Skylines (or Skylin3s), which opens this Friday in a few persistent theaters and on Apple TV.

Rose Corley was born while her mother was in alien captivity, so somehow her physiology was mutated in the process. She became the aliens’ Achilles heel, who led the Earth forces to their ultimate victory. Unfortunately, it was not a clean win. There was a lot of collateral damage, because she froze at a key moment. Nevertheless, she is Earth’s best warrior, thanks to her X-Men-ish powers, so hard-charging General Radford recruits her back into active service.

Earth needs power to fight a mysterious virus that is driving previously re-awakened “pilots,” humans who were captured and mutated into alien drones, violently mad. Corley has a personal stake, since her big brother Trent is also a pilot, who has yet to be infected. However, Corley is not sure she can trust the rest of Radford’s team, especially Owens, the overtly hostile commander.

Beyond Skyline is up there with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Evil Dead II as sequels that are considerably better than their original predecessors. Skylin3s is not quite as good as Beyond (because it is tough to beat the combo of Iko Uwais, Frank Grillo, and Yayan “Mad Dog” Ruhian), but it is still pretty strong from an action perspective. Only Ruhian returns, appearing (too briefly) this time as Huana, a crazy but heroic mutant fighter. (Although Grillo’s Mark Corley is missing, his absence is explained in a way that might allow for his later return.)

Nevertheless, Daniel Bernhardt (who starred in the Bloodsport direct-to-DVD sequels) and Cha-Lee Yoon (doing double duty as the film’s stunt coordinator) maintain Skylin3s’ martial arts credibility. Bernhardt also glowers menacingly as Owens, while Yoon plays Zhi, the medic, so you know this crew must be hardnosed.