Robert Eggers’ Nosferatu

Bela Lugosi memorably launched the tradition of suavely elegant portrayals of Count Dracula. His approach remains the most popular. However, he was predated by Max Schreck’s depiction of the infamous Count in F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu, whose freakish appearance served as a physical manifestation of his moral corruption. He was also German. Lugosi and Anne Rice’s smooth-talking vamps remain more popular, but Schreck still spawned his followers, including Werner Herzog’s remake of the 1922 silent classic (with the names re-Stokerized). Now, horror auteur Robert Eggers’ presents his take on the Teutonic Dracula story in Nosferatu, which opens Christmas day in theaters.

Eggers’ screenplay returns to the names Henrik Galeen’s century-old screenplay that so transparently substituted Count Orlok, Thomas Hutter, and Prof. Sievers for Count Dracula, Jonathan Harker, and Dr. Seward, Stoker successfully sued, securing the destruction of nearly all but a few blessedly surviving prints of the film. In one of Eggers’ few departures, Prof. Van Helsing is now Prof. Albin Eberhart Von Franz, a brand new moniker for the familiar occultist.

Once again, newlywed Hutter journeys to Transylvania to facilitate a reclusive nobleman’s real estate transaction—and it turns out just as badly as ever. However, Orlok intentionally wanted Hutter out of the way, because he already forged a sinister connection to his new bride, Ellen (a.k.a. Mina). Since Hutter’s boss Knock (a.k.a. Renfield) also happens to be Orlok’s enthralled servant, he duly orders Hutter to the Carpathians, where the junior clerk gets somewhat delayed in the castle.

While much more monstrous than conventional tall, dark, and handsome vampires, Eggers’ Orlack is still highly sexualized, in very disturbing ways. Somehow, despite distance and circumstance, Orlack’s spirit seduced and defiled Ellen in her youth. She hoped her love for Hutter would redeem her, but the vampire will not let her go easily.

Regardless, fans know what to expect when Orlack’s trunks arrive on the decimated ship on which they sailed. However, Eggers emphasizes the rats, worthy of “Three Skeleton Key,” which disembark from the derelict vessel, spreading pestilence throughout the city. Conditions get so bad, Prof. Sievers reluctantly consults his slightly disgraced former mentor, Prof Von Franz (a.k.a. Dr. Bulwer, a.k.a. Prof. Van Helsing), who seems to secretly understand the situation more than he lets on.

By horror movie standards, Eggers’ Nosferatu is absolutely gorgeous looking. In addition to Murnau’s original, Eggers and cinematographer Jarin Blaschke achieve a dreamlike vision that suggest the shimmering fantasia visions of Guy Maddin as an unlikely source of inspiration. The film is steeped in Old World gothic atmosphere. In fact, it revisited some of Murnau’s 1922 locations.

Regardless, Bill Skarsgard is amazing and rather frightening to behold, as the demonic Orlok. By now, he could be considered the Doug Jones of leading men. His presence is ferocious, to the point of outright viciousness. Yet, there is still a seductiveness to Orlok’s grotesqueness.

Of course, the perfectly cast Willem Dafoe is jolly good fun to watch unleashing his inner Peter Cushing as the brilliant but erratic Von Franz. Honestly, Ralph Ineson has yet to get the credit he deserves as a horror all-star, but he is every bit Dafoe’s equal playing the sharp-tempered Sievers.

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person

Here is another reminder goths are annoying and Gen Z’ers are helpless. As if we could forget, right? In this case, it is true for the undead as well. Sasha is a young vampire, but she refuses to feed herself, because she of her unusually acute empathy. She is sort of like a vampire vegan, but the bags of blood that sustain her obviously comes from someone. Sasha must figure out her diet in Ariane Louis-Seize’s Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, which opens today in New York.

Sasha immediately demonstrated prodigious musical talent, but her fangs were late coming in. Even now, they only come out under extreme stress. She refuses to hunt, so her parents send her to live with her cousin Denise, who behaves like a vampire on a CW series. Cut off from bagged blood, Sasha considers killing herself, but she wanders into a suicidal support group instead. That is where she meets Paul.

Figuring out Sasha’s secret, the bullied teenager assures her that he would be just fine letting her drain his body of blood. Ethically, Sasha thinks she could maybe handle that, but first she wants Paul to enjoy a little karmic payback.

Humanist Vampire Etc is probably the moodiest vampire film since Ana Lily Amirpour’s A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, but it is not nearly as stylish. Amirpour’s film has a noir vibe entirely missing from this French-Canadian tale of undead angst. It also lacks the quietly expressive charisma of Sheila Vand.

Instead, both Sara Montpetit and Felix-Antoine Benard are relentlessly sullen and sulky. Frankly, they are more lifeless than undead. Unfortunately, Noemie O’Farrell’s Cousin Denise is not nearly vampy enough to compensate for their blandness.

Victor Ginzburg’s Empire V

Even before Putin’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine, Russia was a metaphorical nation of blood-suckers. It has no manufacturing base and an anemic service economy. All the money comes from natural resources and goes straight to the oligarchs and the corrupt politicians and gangsters, who serve their interests. Those elites turn out to be very real vampires in Victor Ginzburg’s Empire V, which had its American premiere at this year’s Screamfest.

Just so viewers feel safe watching Empire V without implying support the Putin regime, keep in mind the film has been banned in Russia and co-star rapper Miron Fedorov (a.k.a. Oxxxymiron) has been branded a “foreign agent” for his opposition to Putin’s war against Ukraine. Maybe it’s highly class-conscious analogies could apply elsewhere too, but Putin (or his flunkies) clearly thought it reflected the reality in Russia, only too faithfully.

Technically, the vamps are not really vamps. They are the (mostly) willing hosts of a parasite known as “The Tongue.” A tiny drop of blood (the vampires insist on calling it “red liquid”) is enough to sustain the Tongue, but a Theranos-sized drop can give the vampires the memories and knowledge of the blood-donors.

It is a lot for the new Rama to take in. He succeeded the old Rama, whose Tongue chose him, after his predecessor lost a duel to the sleazy Mithra, who is perversely supposed to be Rama II’s mentor, in accordance with the traditions of Empire V (so named to distinguish it from the Third Reich and the Fourth Roman Empire). Mithra is much more interested in his other mentee, the waifish Hera—and so is Rama. Their rivalry for Hera (you wouldn’t really call it “romantic” for these vampires) reignites Mithra’s rivalry with the Rama line.

Like his last film, Generation P, Ginzburg adapted Empire V from a novel written by Victor Pelevin. This time around, he focuses far more on the sociological world-building than on the undead sucking and swooning. It is fascinating, but after about seventy minutes, you start to realize how little has actually happened.

The Invitation, on DVD (and Opening in Brazil)

Walter De Ville’s stately New Carfax Abbey does not look very new, but if you remember who in horror fiction owned the old Carfax Abbey, you can understand why he would make the distinction. The Stoker references will continue to pop-up in Jessica M. Thompson’s The Invitation, which releases today on DVD and also opens Thursday in Brazil (Brasil).

After her mother’s death, Evie Jackson is alone in the world, except for her tiger-mom-ish best friend Grace. Then she took a free genealogy test that surprisingly told her she had a bunch of very rich and very white relatives in England. Apparently, there was a scandal with a footman, way back when. Weirdly, the Alexanders are strangely psyched to meet her. Suspiciously friendly Oliver Alexander even offers to fly her out to an upcoming family wedding.

The ceremony will be at New Carfax, hosted by their long-time family friend, De Ville (do you hear what his name sounds like?). The exacting snobbery of De Ville’s butler, Field, rubs Jackson the wrong way, but the gracious lord of the manor smooths thing over. In fact, he launches a charm offensive that Jackson does not entirely discourage. It is all pretty overwhelming for the poor orphan, especially the elegant, bullying bridesmaid, so she does not notice how many temp-maids keep getting murdered.

Real genre fans should know they can get the killings with a little more violence with VOD and DVD releases, compared to the PG-13 theatrical release. Anyone with any pop culture literacy can guess De Ville’s deal. However, Thompson devotes so much time to his courtship of Jackson, it starts to feel more like a regency romance than a gothic supernatural yarn. Also, the concessions to class warfare and gender-politics are shallow distractions that will badly date Invitation in the years to come—“vampire at-large, women and the working-poor hardest hit.”

Midlengths: Mekong Hotel

Apichatpong "Joe" Weerasethakul’s films can drain the energy out of viewers, so maybe it was fitting for him to make a vampire film. He presents this “story” in his usual dreamy style, but he still serves up a few bloody entrails in the hour-long Mekong Hotel, which screens as part of the Metrograph’s series Midlengths, consisting of short features or long shorts, around the sixty-minute mark.

Tong and Phon meet repeatedly on the balcony of their hotel overlooking the Mekong River. They feel like they have met before and maybe they have. Frankly, it might seem to be an inappropriate time for romance, because of the expected flooding and the waves of displaced people who will soon rush into the city as a result. Also, Phon is sharing a room with her mother, who happens to be a vampire, who feeds on men in the hotel. However, she did not eat the guts of Tong’s poor dog. That was another Thai “Pob” ghost.

It all unfolds to the sounds of Chai Bhatana’s acoustic guitar melodies, which Weerasethakul requests from his old friend during the prologue. Presumably, that is why the film is sometimes described as a “docu-hybrid.” Regardless, Bhatana’s music (largely inspired by Spanish classical guitar) bring a lot to the film. In fact, for some of us, they just might be the film.

Weerasethakul employs his familiar long-held, static shots, but the narrative is especially sketchy this time around—not surprisingly, since it was essentially cobbled together from notes for a project that never came to fruition. Waste not, want not. Regardless, despite the supernatural elements, this is not a film for horror fans. Indeed, it could be the most peaceful, lulling film about ghosts and vampires stalking victims during a catastrophic flood that you will ever see.

Fessenden/Glass Eye Pix at MoMA: Stake Land

Instead of a zombie apocalypse, we got a vampire apocalypse. Most of the rules remain the same. You can stake a vampire through the heart, but for the really tough ones, you have to sever the spinal column. “Mister” is good at killing them, so maybe he might just keep young Martin alive in Jim Mickle’s Stake Land, which screens as part of MoMA’s “Oh, the Humanity” retrospective film survey of Larry Fessenden’s Glass Eye Pix.

Martin is now an orphan, thanks to the vampire Mister was good enough to kill shortly thereafter. He is tough, but he willingly takes Martin under his wing. They are generally headed North, hoping reports of a sanctuary city are true (yes, this follows a lot of familiar zombie movie tropes). However, they will have to cross some dangerous territory controlled by White Nationalist Christian militias. The worst of the lot is led by messianic Jebedia Loven, who welcomes the vampires as a cleansing agent sent by God.

Frankly, it tis already beyond tiresome to see another post-apocalyptic horror film that only shows the Armageddon-like situation bringing out the worst in people. The truth is, national crises usually bring out the best in us. Late 2000/early 2001 was a very divisive time in American history, yet 9/11 unified us a country, at least for a while. Arguably, it might take a vampire or zombie apocalypse to unify us again, considering how polarized the nation has become. However, by so blatantly demonizing the Christian Right, Stake Land contributed to that polarization. You could just as easily posit Antifa extremist celebrating vampires who preyed on white property and business owners (having a little of both would have increased the dangers and raised the stakes even further).

Let the Wrong One In: Vampire-Slaying in Ireland

This pack of vampires really ought to be more careful when they turn more vampires. Matt’s lowlife brother Deco is not the sort of bloke you want to spend eternity with. For Matt, he is still family regardless, so staking him will be difficult in Conor McMahon’s unruly vampire comedy, Let the Wrong One In, which releases Friday on digital and in select theaters.

Matt is the responsible, painfully nice brother, while Deco is not. The sunlight is really bothering him this morning, so he begs Matt to let him into their mum’s house. She threw him out because of his stealing ways, but Deco can still exploit his brother’s guilt. Awkwardly, he repays Matt’s mercy by projectile vomiting blood in his face. That won’t be the last time that happens in this movie.

Soon, Henry the vampire slayer is on their doorstep, pretending he is there to help. Slaying is personal to him, because the leader of the pack is his beloved fiancée, who was turned during her bachelorette party (in Romania, because it was cheap). He keeps tabs on vampire movements through reports from his fellow cabbies (which is kind of clever).

Wrong One is often funny, but almost always in an outrageous meatheaded kind of way. The story itself is no great shakes, whereas the best horror-comedies (like Extra Ordinary) have a narrative that would be interesting even without the laughs. Despite the intentional echoes of the title, Wrong One never specifically spoofs Let the Right One In. They both just happen to be about vampires.

Kicking Blood: Vampires & Addiction

In fictional worlds where vampires are real, we still don’t really know much about their physiology, because the academics like Prof. Van Helsing who acknowledge their existence, mostly concentrate on killing them. Really, who can say whether a vampire like Anna can quit sucking blood cold turkey? Vampires are real, but addiction is a monster she and her mortal lover must both face in Blaine Thurier’s Kicking Blood, which releases this Thursday in theaters.

Nocturnal Anna actually works a library job, because she believes living off money plundered from her victims has no dignity. Her shallow hunting-mates, Boris and Nina, have no such scruples. They fancy themselves gods, but they are more like parasites—as Anna is starting to realize. Regardless, she still has to feed. When Anna brought home down-and-out Robbie, she assumed he would be an easy victim. Once he figures out her uncanny nature, Robbie even resigns himself to his fate. Yet, something stops her. Instead of sucking his blood, she gives him a place to stay while kicking booze the hard way.

However, she can’t let her so-called vampire friends know about him. They frown on human relationships. Boris and Nina would also be alarmed to see how emaciated she looks, after she swears off human blood-sucking.

Kicking Blood is a grungy, low-fidelity vampire movie, aesthetically and thematically akin to Joe Begos’s Bliss, but its narrative and central relationship provide a far more compelling viewing experience. Unlike most films, Kicking grows on the audience as it goes along, because Anna and Robbie become more sympathetic (and more interesting) as they strive be a better man and vamp. Yet, they must overcome the opposition of the toxic people and vampires around them.

That might sound like vampirism is an annoyingly obvious metaphor for addiction, which it basically is, but somehow Thurier never conspicuously over-sells it. Anna’s concern for an aging human co-worker (nicely played by Rosemary Dunsmore) also adds a further “humanizing” element.

Dead & Beautiful, on Shudder

Apparently, the only thing that brings out an individual’s true inner nature more than mutant superpowers is vampirism. That is what Lulu Wong discovers when she and her beautiful and entitled friends suddenly wake up with fangs following a bizarre ritual in David Verbeek’s Dead & Beautiful, which premieres tomorrow on Shudder.

Who needs New York or Hong Kong when the exclusive clubs of Taipei are so lavish and alluring? Yet, her fab five still inevitably grow bored with their constant partying. To liven things up, they establish a weekly tradition, in which each member takes their turn orchestrating some kind of surprise. However, when Anastasia Rublov arranges for a Shamanic ritual in the rainforest, they get more than the New Agey nature vibes she anticipated—perhaps due to influence of the original aboriginal people that maybe still haunt the land.

They obviously now have the fangs, but they do not know how many other traditional vampire tropes apply to their new conditions. Alexander Tsai, who still jealously carries a torch for Wong, is eager to embrace the vampire undead-style. In contrast, having recently embraced a half-baked version of Buddhism, Mason Van Der Bilt is hesitant to give up on their humanity. Shallow Lo Bin-ray falls somewhere in the middle, enjoying goofy shtick of vampires, whereas Rublov is confused on how it all affects her Instagramming influence.

D&B is super-stylism, filled with neon-lit clubs and glowing Taipei nightscapes, but it also has some interesting thoughts in its pretty head. Verbeek’s screenplay uses the vampire phenomenon to make some sly allegorical points regarding class and gender. (Anastasia’s talk of “transitioning” rings with current significance, without beating viewers over the head.) Yet, more than anything, their new undead state really seems to bring out who they really are. Unfortunately, in the case of the confused Wong, she still doesn’t seem to truly know herself.

Boys from County Hell, on Shudder

He is the Irish nationalist alternative to Vlad the Impaler. According to legend, Abhartach was an under-sized Napoleon-esque warrior, who became an undead blood-sucker. It was a story the Irish Bram Stoker would very likely have heard and used as a source of inspiration for Dracula, especially as far as the tourist-fleecing townsfolk of Six Mile Hill are concerned. Unfortunately, they will learn just how hard it is to kill Abhartach when they disturb his resting place in Chris Baugh’s Boys from County Hell, which premieres this Thursday on Shudder.

Eugene Moffat does not have much future in Six Mile Hill, so he really can’t blame his mate William Bogue for leaving. However, a drunken night out culminates rather badly for all concerned when Bogue gets gored by a loose bull and has his blood sucked into Abhartach’s grave. Moffat’s contractor father Francis was hired to clear the stone gravesite to make way for an expressway, but that lets loose the recently-strengthened ancient proto-vampire.

It turns out all the methods of killing vampires were the invention of Stoker and Murnau. In reality, you have to bury Abhartach under enough stone to keep him pinned down. Obviously, that is a tough trick to pull off, but Moffat, his father, and his cronies will do their meatheaded best.

Chris Baugh (whose first feature was the nifty little gritty crime thriller, Bad Day for the Cut) comes up with the first really original twist on the vampire legend in years. It is gory and gruesome, but in the right, amusing kind of way. It is also an intriguing way for Baugh to pay tribute to the macabre side of his Celtic heritage.

The Newest Carmilla

Dracula might be slightly more famous, but J. Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla has also spawned some impressive adaptations, including Carl Dreyer’s silent classic Vampyr, Ben Johnston’s opera, and Hammer’s The Vampire Lovers, with the great Ingrid Pitt playing Carmilla Karnstein. It is also inspired some fairly exploitative takes, because of its Sapphic overtones. There will be neither arias or gratuitous nudity, but there is still very definitely a burgeoning sexuality that will not be repressed in Emily Harris’s Carmilla, which releases virtually this Friday.

Lara Bauer lives a sheltered but lonely existence, as the daughter of a wealthy English continental landowner, with only her puritanical governess, Miss Fontaine, and a handful of domestic servants for company. She is therefore deeply disappointing when the visit from one of her few friends, the daughter of her father’s old comrade, is postponed, due to the girl’s mysterious illness. Shortly thereafter, a freak carriage accident occurs outside the estate grounds. The only survivor is a striking but silent young lady, whom Bauer’s father will host as she recuperates.

So far, so Le Fanu. Naturally, Lara is drawn to their guest, whom she names “Carmilla,” partly out of desire for companionship. However, there seems to be something deeper to her attraction. Fontaine has her suspicions as to what that might be—and it alarms her tremendously. In fact, we are led to deduce the governess was once involved in her own shocking scandal, so she now enforces strict Calvinist propriety with the zeal of a convert.

The atmosphere and period design of Harris’s Carmilla are first class all the way, but none of the departures from Le Fanu’s original narrative are improvements in anyway. In particular, Fontaine’s judgmental intolerance never feels like a product of her character, but rather serves the film’s message instead. Sexual repression is thoroughly baked into Le Fanu’s source novel and just about all adaptation, post-Dreyer, but the fact that Carmilla has left a string of emaciated corpses in her wake and the presumption she is preying on the girls of the neighboring village are what give the story its suspense and urgency. Rather perversely, Harris largely loses sight of the vampirism, rather turning Le Fanu into D.H. Lawrence.

Joe Begos’s Bliss

Undie young and party forever—that is the hedonistic school of vampirism we know from Anne Rice, Bret Easton Ellis, and Tony Scott’s The Hunger, among others. Of course, you’d better look good, because people will be judging you for centuries. Dezzy Donahue is already indulging in sex and substances like she is undead, but she will soon undergo the full vampire experience in director-screenwriter Joe Begos’s Bliss, which is now available on VOD and screens tonight in Brooklyn.

Donahue is a borderline collectible artist, but she is blocked on an important commission and can’t pay her rent. Obviously, the solution is a massive drug bender. However, this time Bliss, her designer drug of choice, just doesn’t get her inspiration flowing like it used to. Fortunately, her pseudo-friends Courtenay and Ronnie are there to lead her further astray.

When she wakes up from an evening of excessive indulgence, she really can’t remember what happened, including the burst of work she did on her canvas. She feels sick and hungry, but is strangely unable to keep down conventional people food. Of course, we know what is going on, even before Courtenay explains it all to her.

In a way, Bliss is a bit like Dan Gilroy’s Velvet Buzzsaw, but it is exponentially bloodier and grungier. It definitely suggests there is a vampiric, exploitative dimension to artistic creation, but does not delve too deeply into any of the philosophical or psychological issues this might raise. Instead, Begos immerses us in the lurid, neon CBGB-bathroom-like world Donahue and her cohorts inhabit. Seriously, you might want a tetanus shot booster before watching this one.

Dora Madison definitely goes all in and then some as Donahue, the hot mess, Ab-Fab vampy vampire. Her commitment is impressive, but she still leaves us cold. Yet, most of the rest of the characters are essentially flimsy stock figures. That even includes George Wendt (from Cheers) appearing briefly as crusty old “Pops.”

Fantasia ’18: Tokyo Vampire Hotel (Feature Cut)

This vampire tale bears some superficial commonalities with Underworld, but it is exponentially gorier, with a fraction of the logic. It was written and directed by Sion Sono, so look out. Humanity’s extinction is imminent, but the Dracula and Corvin vampire clans are still battling like its Y2K in Sion Sono’s feature-length edit of his television series, Tokyo Vampire Hotel (trailer here), which screened during the 2018 Fantasia International Film Festival.

Manami is the last chosen one, who was born at a fateful hour and fed ultra-powerful vampire blood. She is supposed to be the difference maker, who will help the old world, crucifix-fearing Draculas overcome the crass, nihilistic Corvens, but she knows nothing about her true self or prophesized destiny. She thought she would be celebrating her twenty-second birthday with friends, but instead a heavily-armed vampire assassin arrives to massacre the entire restaurant, most definitely including Manami.

“Fortunately,” K, a trusted Dracula enforcer, arrives in time to “save” Manami. Of course, it is probably safe to say neither clan really has her best interests at heart. Nevertheless, Manami’s lack off trust allows the Corvens to capture her, whisking the strange hybrid women off to their Japanese base of operations, the Hotel Requiem. It is a busy time in the undead hotel. The Corvens have lured a large assembly of shallow, entitled party people into their clutches, so their sexual couplings will help provide the vampires’ mojo after the impending Armageddon. Naturally, K will go in after her, with mucho bloodshed resulting.

Arguably, Sono’s cobbled together feature edit is more coherent than its reputation suggests. The first half-hour exactly matched the opening of the series. Presumably, that is also true of the non-stop carnage of the final hour. Yes, the mid-section is a bit patchy, but everyone should be able to get the gist of it.

One thing you can’t miss is the massive action chops and uber-femme fatale screen presence of Kaho [Indo] as the supernaturally formidable K. Holy cats dude, is she ever something. She is like Kim Ok-vin in The Villainess, but with a taste for blood. On the other hand, Ami Tomite is shockingly poignant as Manami, even when she is tearing Corvens limb-from-limb.

Frankly, there is probably more blood per frame in TVH than in Sono’s Why Don’t You Play in Hell, which is really saying something. In some ways, the narrative echoes that of Bad Film, but Sono fully capitalizes on the bloody possibilities of vampirism.

For the record, the film version is missing a rather clever bit from episode one, wherein all of Tokyo’s fortune-tellers start freaking out, because they foresee every one of their customers is doomed to die the next day. Still, Sono’s one hundred-forty-two-minute super-cut certainly does not shortchange viewers in the action and gore. After watching it, you know you’ve seen something, that’s for sure. Recommended for Sono fans who refuse to patronize Amazon, the feature version of Tokyo Vampire Hotel had its Quebec premiere at this year’s Fantasia.

Sunset Society: Put a Stake In It

Basically, we get two kinds of vampires these days, the lusty Anne Rice kind and the moody self-denying Twilight variation. These undead are definitely the former. They are also dumber than a bag full of wooden stakes. It is difficult to imagine how the ancient undead could be so boring, but somehow they are in Phoebe Dollar’s Sunset Society (trailer here), which opens this Friday in Los Angeles.

Basically, the randomly assembled plot involves the search for the last surviving copy of a DIY documentary that would have exposed the existence of the vampires and their mutual aid social club, the Sunset Society. It turns out, the Macguffin tape has been incorporated into a tribute to Ace, the former leader of the Sunset Society, produced by his faithful lover Sophia. Her cobbled together film captures some rather turbulent events in the society’s history, including the unsanctioned turning of a mentally unstable goth girl. That would be Gage that messed up. He was one of Sophia’s pals.

Honestly, this film is nearly unwatchable. The narrative is basically a series of aimless incidents held together with bailing wire, the editing is incoherently herky-jerky, and the whole thing looks like it was lit with a single Coleman lantern. Obviously, it has been on the shelf of a while, since Ace is played by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead, who has been dead since 2015. It seems Ace has also passed away in the film’s current day time frame, but there is never any explanation as to how the supposedly shrewd and ferocious vampire big cheese met his end.

Despite its shortcomings, Sunset Society probably still notched a lot of ancillary sales, because of its rock & roll connections. In addition to Kilmister, the cast also includes members of Guns N’ Roses and the L.A. Dolls, as well as former adult movie star Ron Jeremy, who gets more screen time than he really should, most likely because he can handle simple line-readings. The comp for this film was probably Rob Stefaniuk’s Suck, but that film has wit and energy, plus its rock star cameos come from the likes of Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop.

It should be readily stipulated Dollar is quite sultry as Sophia, but she helms the film into a brick wall. Apparently, she had directorial help on the wrap arounds from Rolfe Kanefsky, the auteur responsible for The Black Room and about half a dozen Emmanuelle films, which is probably all you need to know. The animated interludes are definitely the best parts, but they are really nothing special. This is just a dingy-looking train wreck of a movie. Not recommended, Sunset Society opens tomorrow (7/6) in LA at the Downtown Independent.

Vidar the Vampire: Undead in Norway

Usually, vampires are seductive, as in Anne Rice novels, or sophisticated, like vintage Bela Lugosi. Sadly, Vidar Hårr is just plain awkward, but its not his fault. He’s Norwegian. Alas, the nocturnal existence of the undead just isn’t what he was hoping for in Thomas Aske Berg & Frederik Waldeland’s Vidar the Vampire (trailer here), which releases today on VOD, under the Dread Central Presents imprimatur.

Poor Hårr still lives with his mother, so it is no surprise he never had any luck with the ladies. He works like a dog on the farm and his only outside life comes on Sundays at their speaking-in-tongues church. Hårr desperately prays for a little action—and lo and behold, his wish is granted. Suddenly, he is a blood-dependent, light-sensitive vampire. He will learn the ropes of the hedonistic undead lifestyle from none other than the thoroughly debauched Jesus himself.

That water into wine gimmick always impresses women. Unfortunately, Hårr just can’t get with the program, even after a few resurrections. Frankly, he cramps his style so badly, Jesus starts to leave Hårr leashed up outside nightclubs, like a dog. At least Hårr has sought help from a shrink, to whom he tells his unlikely tale of woe, but he obviously needs years of therapy.

So yes, the land of fjords has brought us a depiction of Jesus Christ as a sociopathic playboy. The good news is whatever bad things you did during the making Vidar probably went unnoticed upstairs. His grace is infinite, but Brigt Skrettingland should still cut down on the cholesterol. In any event, it turns out Night of the Virgin isn’t the most offensive film we’re reviewing here today, which is saying something.

The thing is, unless you are completely besotted with the film’s transgressive, borderline blasphemous premise, it really isn’t that funny. V the V hits roughly the same notes over and over. Honestly, it is downright mean-spirited in its treatment of Hårr, not that he is an especially likable character anyway. Yet, they periodically harken back to his former innocence by having the actor who played young Hårr reprise the role in select present-day scenes, for dramatic effect. It is a striking technique, but it undercuts the pervasive nihilism required for most of the film’s humor (including a rather misogynistic sequence—seriously, Samantha Bee’s favorite word is used twice in the imdb credits to describe characters involved—and we’re not talking about “ineffectual”).

Berg is certainly gawky as Hårr, but it is debatable whether he really expresses any deeper human feelings. For better or worse, Skrettingland goes all in as the maniacal Jesus, so maybe we should all pray for his soul (or be grateful Buddha has a sense of humor about these things). Henrik Rafaelson also deserves credit for tapping into his inner Elmer Gantry as the faith-healing Pastor Tor Magne Abrahamsen.

If you want to see a film that pushes the envelope of good tastes (or rather vomits all over the envelope) than Night of the Virgin is the VOD film to dial up this week. Vidar has plenty of shock value, but it lacks a similar one-damn-thing-after-another cumulative impact. Only for those interested in extreme novelty, Vidar the Vampire releases today on VOD.

DWF ’18: The Lake Vampire

There have been some colorful serial killers in Latin America, like “The Ogress of Colonia Roma” in Mexico, “The Rainbow Maniac” in Brazil, Dorángel Vargas (“The Hannibal Lecter of the Andes’) in Venezuela, and Fidel Castro & Che Guevara in Cuba. However, Zacarias Ortega (also of Venezuela) can top all of their body counts put together, except maybe not Castro and Guevara. He claims to have killed under many names including the titular media-created moniker in Carl Zitelmann’s The Lake Vampire (trailer here), which screens during this year’s Dances with Films, in Hollywood, CA.

It is a heck of a mystery. A rash of severed heads have been discovered, but rather disturbingly, their missing bodies were drained of blood before they were decapitated. It is exactly the sort of lurid case that could be failed novelist Ernesto Navarro’s next book. However, the killings attributed to the so-called “Devil of the South” are not the first time this M.O. has been encountered in Venezuela. Retired police detective Jeremias Morales has investigated at least two other serial killings that employed the same technique. During the course of those inquiries, Morales starts to suspect Zacarias Ortega and Ramon Perez Brenes are indeed the same person, especially after his suspect tells him so directly.

Lake Vampire is a super-creepy fusion of a real-life blood-sucking serial killer with some darkly fantastical speculation. It is also one of the most adept films at employing flashbacks for dramatic purposes. Zitelmann hops back to at least three prior time periods, but he always maintains temporal clarity and justifies each rewind with some juicy revelations. Slyly, he preserves a great deal of ambiguity regarding the killer’s true nature until the big climax, but his sinister vibe signals something unnaturally infernal is afoot.

Regardless, the procedural stuff is smashingly effective, thanks in large part to Miguel Ángel Landa’s understated but quietly driven performance as Morales, sort of in the tradition of Morgan Freeman in Se7en, but much more existential. Abilio Torres nicely mirrors him as the younger Morales seen in considerable flashbacks. Plus, Eduardo Gulino chews the scenery Hammer-style as the various possible incarnations of Ortega.

Whether you decide to classify Lake Vampire as a serial killer film or a vampire movie, it is arguably one of the best of either sub-genre to come along in a good while. Granted, the final-final conclusion is a bit of a letdown, but that is par for the course. What matters is how the film gets there—and Zitelmann takes us on a really twisty rollercoaster ride. Unusually smart and unsettlingly eerie, The Lake Vampire is very highly recommended for thriller and horror fans when it screens tonight (6/11), as part of the 2018 Dances With Films.

Detective K: Secret of the Living Dead

Post-Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes has faced off against Dracula a number of times, so it is only fair Detective K[im Min] would get his own run-in with the living dead. However, he will be considerably more fortunate. Instead of a Transylvanian nobleman, he encounters a beautiful Joseon princess, who has lost her memories of her previous existence. For now, she is a gentle day-walker, but all bets are off when she remembers who did her wrong in Kim Suk-yoon’s Detective K: Secret of the Living Dead (trailer here), which opens today in Los Angeles.

Wol-young (as Kim will call her) was immolated into dormancy, but she wasn’t burned sufficiently to destroy her. As a result, a mystery fugitive manages to revive her, before sacrificing himself for her safety. Meanwhile, Kim is unmasking a Scooby-Doo-style fake vampire. His next case won’t be so easy. A ruthless full-on vampire has been turning and then immolating the grown sons of prominent villagers. Logically, Kim is dispatched to stop the macabre serial murders.

As their paths cross, Kim and Wol-young discover they are both interested in the shadowy perp, whom the lady vampire just feels she knows from someplace, but cannot recall how. An uneasy but flirtatious truce is forged as they work together tracking their quarry. As long as the freshly revived Wol-young refrains from tasting blood, she can control her vampiric nature, but she will still be denied her memories. Of course, avoiding blood will be difficult given the circumstances.

If the previous Secret of the Lost Island was a little too shticky for your taste, you might consider giving the franchise a second try with Living Dead. Kim Myung-min and Oh Dal-su still engage in plenty of rubber-faced broad comedy as Kim and his loyal but cowardly servant Seo Pil, but the vampire story is far darker and way more poignant than Lost Island viewers would expect. As emotionally engaging vampire movies go, it falls somewhere between Byzantium and Let the Right One In, but still with a goofy sense of humor, somewhat akin to Vampire Cleanup Department.

Without question, Kim Ji-won is a major reason why it works so well. As Wol-young, she is eloquently expressive and achingly vulnerable. There is no question she muscles poor Seo Pil off the screen, taking command of the picture. On paper, Living Dead would sound like an unlikely star-making vehicle, but she turns it.

Franchise helmer Kim Suk-yoon also deserves credit for staging some highly cinematic action scenes and running up a body count exponentially higher than the norm for historical comedy. Frankly, there might be more tragedy than comedy in Living Dead, but that plays to Korean cinema’s comparative advantage. Recommended surprisingly enthusiastically for vampire fans, Detective K: Secret of the Living Dead opens today (2/16) at the Los Angeles and Buena Park CGV Cinemas.

Living Among Us: Interviews with Vampires

Vampires are finally getting more media savvy. They will invite a TV news crew into the home of a respected member of their underground community, so they can explain vampirism is really just a medical condition. Or maybe they will simply kill them, because nobody will miss a few media jerks. Either way, Benny the intern will be filming way more than he bargained for in Brian A. Metcalf’s found footage horror-comedy Living Among Us (trailer here), which opens tomorrow in New York.

Mike, a local market prima donna broke the story revealing the network of blood banks supplying plasma to vampires, so the bloodsuckers’ sect leader naturally reached out to him for a proposed up-close-and-personal piece on life as a modern-day vampire. The blood banks’ secret distribution scheme was actually a good thing because it means they no longer need to kill to feed. The traditional vampire lore are just myths and misconceptions Andrew and his wife Elleanor insist. However, they insist on some suspicious ground rules before they allow Mike, his segment producer Carrie, and Benny, the station manager’s idiot brother-in-law to stay in their home. Of course, we’re talking about staples, like crucifixes, holy water, and wooden stakes.

As you would expect, the vampires immediately act suspicious, especially Blake, a swaggering Lestat wannabe and Selvin, a deeply warped former dungeon “dweller.” Fortunately, the nebbish Benny has a compulsive need to document everything, so he will capture some freaky business—thereby supplying viewers with our movie.

Metcalf maintains a healthy energy level and his screenplay is reasonably amusing. Still, it is hard for LAU or any subsequent vampire comedy not to suffer in comparison with Taika Waititi & Jermaine Clement’s What We Do in the Shadows, especially when LAU uses a documentary-news crew conceit. On the other hand, Metcalf recruited the character actor power trio of William Sadler, John Heard, and James Russo, as the vampire sect leader, Andrew the vampire host, and the gruff station manager, respectively. All three give any film instant credibility.

Indeed, you have to give Metcalf credit—he skewers the media quite effectively, while cranking up a sense that things are about to go very, very bad. Andrew Keegan and Chad Todhunter chew the scenery nicely as wildcards Blake and Selvin. Plus, Esmé Bianco, arguably the biggest genre star from Game of Thrones and The Magicians is suitably regal and fierce as Elleanor.

There are plenty of prior found footage mock-doc horror movies, but LAU is cleverer than most. At times, its limited budget results in some cheesy looking TV newscast sequences, but that’s forgivable. Recommended for horror-comedy fans, Living Among Us opens tomorrow (2/2) in New York, at the Cinema Village.

Goth(ic): Vampire Hunter D

He stalks his prey in a post-apocalyptic landscape and his wardrobe is very High Plains Drifter, but you cannot get much more gothic than the protagonist of Hideyuki Kikuchi’s franchise of horror novels, manga, and anime. From the standpoint of the ancient vampire “Nobility,” he is a particularly dangerous hunter, because as a half-human, half-vampire dhampir, he is practically one of them. In fact, he has quite an illustrious lineage, but that will only be hinted at in Toyoo Ashida’s anime feature Vampire Hunter D (trailer here), which screens as part of the ongoing Goth(ic) film series at the Metrograph.

It is the year 12,090 AD and humanity is not doing great. The spawn of the few humans who survived the nuclear Armageddon live under the heel of the undead Nobility, who trace their blood line back to Dracula himself. Ten thousand-year-old Count Magnus Lee is especially powerful, but he is prone to boredom, so he decides to take pretty young orphan Doris Lang as his bride. Having marked her with his fangs, he leaves her to twist in the wind for a while, but she manages to recruit “D” to hunt the Count and hopefully free her of his influence.

Naturally, the town shuns Lang and her young brother when they learn she is marked, except for Greco Roman, the lecherous son of the sheriff, who hopes to exploit her condition. (The jerky Roman is suspiciously like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast, but he predates the Disney character by six years.) D is a tough customer, but he rather rashly lets the Count’s various mutants and familiars get the drop on him. Fortunately, he is supernaturally difficult to kill.

Hunter D was one of the first successful crossover anime films and it still holds up quite well, even though subsequent mature anime releases dramatically upped the ante in terms of violence and supernatural horror. Watching it thirty-some years later is like going back to basics. Anti-heroic good dukes it out with arrogant evil in a savage wasteland that really feels very 1980s, in a good way. Plus, longtime illustrator Yoshitaka Amano’s design work is truly archetypally iconic. Frankly, you will recognize D, even if you are completely unfamiliar with the franchise.

Ashida maintains a brisk pace, showcasing a number of pleasantly gory fight scenes. Screenwriter Yasushi Hirano’s adaptation of Kikuchi’s first novel hits enough traditional vampire bases to satisfy western audiences, while introducing a good deal of the distinctive series mythology. Yes, there is even some brief fan service for horny teens.

There are western and science fiction elements in Hunter D, but it is still a natural fit for a gothic film series. Those blood moons and creepy castles still set quite the macabre mood. Nostalgically recommended for anime, horror, and spaghetti western fans, Vampire Hunter D screens twice tomorrow (12/8) as part of Goth(ic) at the Metrograph.

NYC Horror ’17: The Night Watchmen

Baltimore is so accustomed to violent crime and crummy city services, it takes quite a lot to shock the beleaguered city. However, vampire clowns should do the trick. Apparently, the only thing standing between the city and a wild pack of red-haired, face-painted blood-suckers is an incompetent crew of security guards. Despite everyone’s low expectations, the thin rented-blue line might just hold up to the undead onslaught in Mitchell Altieri’s wildly funny and shamelessly gory vampire comedy, The Night Watchmen (trailer here), which screens during the 2017 New York City Horror Film Festival.

This will be a heck of a first night for the new guy. Everyone calls him Rajeev, because he is stuck with his predecessor’s old uniform and name-tag. His new colleagues think they will have plenty of time to haze him, because most nights they just sit around eating donuts, watching adult videos, and spying on the employees of their primary tenant (a weekly newspaper), especially the cute one. Unfortunately, this will be no ordinary night. It starts when they mistakenly receive a coffin that was supposed to be delivered to the city morgue. Inside lies the remains of Blimpo the Clown, who died under mysterious circumstances while touring Romania—and you know who else came from the Transylvanian region. Needless to say, Blimpo will not stay laying down for long.

Good old Blimpo chews through most of the building, killing or turning most of the paper’s employees. Plus, he also has more clown vampire reinforcements on the way. “Rajeev” and the crew, led by Ken, the supposed former Marine, find themselves in an undead siege. On the positive side, his big crush is still alive, no thanks to their dubious protection.

Night Watchmen is one of the funniest horror comedies since Ava’s Possessions and Witching & Bitching, but it is still fabulously gory. We are talking about some arterial blood sprays that resemble the Bellagio Casino’s water show. To give you a sense of the film’s tone, our intrepid watchmen soon learn vampires pass some really nasty gas after getting staked through the heart.

Yes, Altieri and the battery of co-screenwriters (Jamie Nash, with co-stars Ken Arnold and Dan DeLuca) go there, frequently. Yet, probably the foulest gags involve James Remar playing Randall, the spectacularly sleazy newspaper boss. Good taste prevents us from describing his antics, but it is safe to say you have never seen the veteran character actor so slimy and skeevy.

You have to respect how defiantly tasteless Night Watchmen gets. Yet, the crazy thing is, it still works relatively well as a straight-up vampire horror movie. Cast-members Arnold, DeLuca, Kevin Jiggets, and Kara Luiz deserve all kinds of credit for their flexibility—and a willingness to work drenched in fake blood. It is hard to believe this is the same Altieri that helmed the rather dull hickspolitation flick Holy Ghost People, but here he is, delivering us farting vampires. We want more like this one please. Very highly recommended, The Night Watchmen screens this Friday (10/27) at the Cinepolis Chelsea, as part of this year’s NYC Horror Film Festival.