Lars Shrike Walks the Night, Starring Kelsey Grammer

Lars Shrike is a stranger in a strange land. However, he meta-science fiction story is not very Heinleinesque. Instead, he shares a strange kinship, with Richard Kendred, the fictional science fiction author, who was the protagonist of Gary Walkow’s 1987 indie The Trouble with Dick. In fact, Walkow has produced an entire shared world of neurotic sf-flavored micro-budget films, also including Crashing and The Trouble with Dot & Harry. Fortunately, his latest stands alone relatively easily, since its predecessors are not widely available. Indeed, the title character is often more confused than viewers throughout Gary Walkow’s Lars Shrike Walks the Night, which releases today on VOD.

Even though Shrike suffers from amnesia, after escaping from a prison planet, it is easy to relate to his immediate problems. He is thirsty, tired, and cannot find a compatible charger for his combination blaster and AI companion. As she loses power, she also loses functionality. Hence, several weird alien critters manage to attack Shrike without her sounding an alarm.

Nevertheless, this is our world, or at least one that is close enough to be recognizable. So, how did he get here? And how did the savage little creatures? Perhaps it is all some sort of psychotic delusion. Yet, the few and the proud will recognize Shrike’s name from The Trouble with Dick. When Shrike also discovers the connection, things really start getting meta.

Unlike Shrike, most viewers might largely guess Walkow’s game. Nevertheless, Kelsey Grammer’s portrayal of the miserable and bewildered title character is shockingly and acutely compelling. Without question, this is one of his best straight dramatic performances in years, so it is a pity relatively few viewers will likely see it.

Young Washington, from Angel Studios

Contrary to popular misconception, George Washington grew up more like Abraham Lincoln than Thomas Jefferson. The estate he eventually inherited was more of a yeoman farm than a plantation in the true antebellum sense. He also had relatively little formal education, but he read voraciously, just like his aforementioned presidential successor. In his youth, he also aspired to serve the King as a British officer, but his Colonial status thwarted his ambitions. Nevertheless, Washington perseveres in Jon Erwin’s Young Washington, from Angel Studios, which opens today in theaters.

Erwin and co-screenwriters Diederik Hoogstraten and Tom Provost skip all the cherry tree business. Washington’s father has died, leaving him and his mother, Mary, in a precarious position. They are the poor relations of his older half-brother Lawrence, whose higher status remains contingent on British good will. Nevertheless, he, somewhat reluctantly, helps Washington pursue his goal of an official commission in the British Army.

In some ways, Washington finds a more influential patron in Lord Fairfax, who dispatches the ambitious young man to survey his wild Ohio Valley holdings. As it happens, that wilderness experience will lead to Washington’s appointment as a Colonial Militia officer, but decidedly not a British officer proper, during the French and Indian War. However, his first command takes an absolutely disastrous turn.

To Erwin’s credit, the film never sugarcoats Washington’s early failures. However, it makes equally clear how much the young officer learned from those mistakes. Indeed, viewers will walk out of Young Washington understanding how his setbacks prepared Washington to lead his country to victory in the Revolutionary War, even though the film ends long before independence ever becomes a half-baked popular notion.

Truly, it is a real trick to make a patriotic American story, while its protagonist remains loyal to the crown, but Erwin and company pull it off quite adroitly. In fact, it rather makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck when Erwin and lead actor William Franklyn-Miller show how Washington and his men started to identify as Virginians rather than British subjects.

Franklyn-Miller is a real find, portraying the man-who-would-be-President’s tremendous complexity and hard-earned character growth. This is not hagiography, which makes it all the more inspiring. He also forges deeply resonant chemistry with Mary-Louise Parker and John Foss, as Mary and Lawrence, respectively. Frankly, Parker deserves awards consideration for her gritty, no-nonsense, but acutely poignant portrayal of Mary Washington, but such open-mindedness is probably far too much to ask for.

Kelsey Grammer (and his appropriate transatlantic accent) adds some welcome panache in the relatively brief role of Fairfax, but he also serves as the film’s de facto spokesman in the post-screening message to the audience. Admittedly, Sir Ben Kingsley and Andy Serkis play Robert Dinwiddie (Virginia’s royal administrator) and Gen. Braddock like stereotypical arrogant British snobs, but that very real high-handed attitude eventually directly contributed to the Brits’ defeat.

Murder Company, Co-Starring Kelsey Grammer

Phonies talk tough, but the truth is no group killed more fascists than the American military. They were also fighting real, heavily armed fascists, who fought back. It was a brutal, bloody business—and this would be an appropriate day to thank them. A ragtag group of soldiers are in for a particularly rough mission in Shane Dax Taylor’s Murder Company, which releases in theaters and on demand and digital this Friday.

After an unusually unfortunate jump, most of Sgt. Southern’s company are dead or missing. However, he soon finds Pvt. Coolidge, a friend and comrade separated from a segregated unit and supposedly reassigned to Southern’s. Gen. Hastings lumps them together with several other strays for a dangerous assignment, under the command of Lt. Smith.

It is a two-parter. Rescue French resistance Daquin, who will then guide them to Major General Erik Ramsey, the National Socialist officer in charge of military transportation for all of Europe. The goal is to decapitate him before the D-Day landing. Yes, this is technically an assassination mission, but Daquin, who happens to be a crack shot with a sniper rifle, will handle the killing. Some of the men still have qualms, but viewers won’t after watching Ramsey’s skill as a torturer.

Purportedly, Jesse Mittelstadt’s screenplay is based on a “true story,” but that probably just means American did indeed fight Germany in WWII. It is hard to imagine Coolidge integrating a regular platoon and it is even tougher to figure how Haskel could have men holding a bridge for Americans coming from Normandy Bridge, but whatever. It is a WWII movie in which the Americans are the good guys. The bad guys are the Germans and they are particularly bad. In fact, they are part of the so-called “Murder Division,” so if Smith’s company bests them through covert action, they can take the “Murder” name for themselves.

Murder Company was definitely produced on a frugal budget, but it wisely leans into its grunginess, eschewing explosive spectacle. Most of the warfighting consists of close-quarters ambushes, sniper attacks, and fire fights at either the squad or platoon level. (Frankly, the Murder Company really isn’t big enough to be a company.) Regardless, the combat tends to be personal and very deadly.

Although Kelsey Grammer is best known for Fraser Crane, he has also portrayed several military officers. Arguably, the steely decisiveness of his performance here will make Haskell the kind of general many junior officers would wish they reported to. His grit matches that of the film in general and Joe Anderson and William Moseley, as Smith and Southern, in particular.

Flowers in the Attic: The Origin, on Lifetime

V.C. Andrews has released far more books after her death than while she was alive. A lot of writers have had their franchises live on through ghostwriters, but in her case, the ratio of posthumous to living is not even close. That is why Garden of Shadows, the prequel to Flowers in the Attic is kind of “special.” It released in 1987, relatively soon after her 1986 death, so fans hoped Andrews herself had some direct involvement with it. In any event, it was a return to her most popular series, explaining where her beloved and despised characters came from. Of course, the Foxworth/Dollanger clan came from their own biological family members, as any V.C. Andrews fan knows. Things are as gothic and incestuous as ever in the four feature-length episodes of Flowers in the Attic: The Origin, which premieres tomorrow on Lifetime.

Olivia Winfield will eventually become the mean grandmother Louise Fletcher played in the 1987 Flowers in the Attic movie everybody hates, especially fans. As the mini-series opens, Winfield is her father’s quirky, independent daughter and also his shrewd business partner. However, Malcolm Foxworth quickly sweeps her off her feet and whisks her away to his Southern Gothic mansion. Unfortunately, as soon as they are married, he reveals his true violent, domineering colors. He also seems to have weird issues regarding his beautiful late mother—naturally.

Foxworth the man is a heartless tyrant and Foxworth the Manor is an evil place. However, the untimely death of her father leaves Olivia stuck with both. As a result, she will do her best to protect her sons Mal Jr. and Joel, along with Corrine, the daughter Malcolm conceived when he attacked his late father’s much younger wife, Alicia, whom the Foxworths raise as their own. Of course, Corrine is the only one Malcolm Sr. cares about, a little too much.

And from there, things really start to get scandalous. In a way, you have to give Lifetime credit, because they have always leaned into what attracted fans to the books in the first place. (It is also frustrating to think Wes Craven might have directed the 1987 movie, but the faithfulness of his approach got him cut from the project.)  Regardless, Origin is over-stuffed with inappropriate relationships, thereby staying reasonably faithful to Garden of Shadows.

Arguably, Origin is not exactly horror, but it still counts as gothic. Foxworth Manor is nearly atmospheric as Collinwood and it is definitely less healthy. The miniseries is just as shamelessly melodramatic and emotionally overwrought as fans will expect, but it is somewhat less cheesy than some of Lifetime’s previous non-Dollanger V.C. Andrews adaptations, like My Sweet Audrina and Ruby, which often collapsed into self-parody. At least this time around directors Declan O’Dwyer and Robin Sheppard maintain some kind of control over the material.

Grand Isle: The Latest Nic Cage Movie of the Week

In the movies, impending storms usually accompany simmering sexual tension, possibly laced with violence. That is true in spades for this soon-to-be water-logged Louisiana Barrier Island burg. Crazy Walter would rather bat down his handyman than batten down the hatches in Stephen S. Campanelli’s Grand Isle, which opens tomorrow in New York.

With tons of debt, a new born daughter, and a frail wife perhaps suffering from a mild form of postpartum depression, Buddy needs money, so takes an odd job fixing Walter’s fence. For some reason, the swaggering alcoholic insists he must complete the job that day or no dough, but the poor handyman cannot finish before the gale-force storm rolls in. (Seriously, it is only eight or ten white pickets.)

Reluctantly accepting the shelter Walter grudgingly offers, Buddy finds himself in the middle of a very dysfunctional marital dynamic. Before long, Walter’s Maggie-the-Cat-like wife Fancy starts coming on to Buddy in such an unsubtle manner, even Walter notices. Of course, that just makes him angrier and more unstable. Yet, he also has an offer to make Buddy. It is not exactly the “indecent” kind, but it will definitely be criminal. Regardless, Buddy will rue the day he walked into their home, especially during Detective Jones’ in media res interrogation sessions.

This is Nic Cage’s fifth film released in theaters this year, with another due January, so we have to admire his work ethic. He clearly has a keen affinity for Louisiana noir (after all, you can see his future pyramid-shaped crypt in St Louis Cemetery #1). As Walter, he snarls with all the wild abandon you would hope for. Nevertheless, it is still disappointing to see him help resurrect the hurtful stereotype of the crazy Vietnam veteran. In fact, screenwriters Iver William Jallah and Rich Ronat go out of their way to portray the Vietnam Vet as a monstrous caricature, setting the film in the year 1989, for no discernible reason except for making the raging Walter age-appropriate for his supposed service record.

7 Guardians of the Tomb: Li Bingbing, Tomb Raider

China has a love-hate relationship with tomb spelunkers. The government rails against western looters and demands the restitution of national antiquities. On the other hand, some of China’s bestselling novel, film, and television franchises feature Lara Croft-Indiana Jones-style characters, including the Ghost Blows Out the Light and Daomu Biji books that have spawned competing film and television adaptations. At least this Chinese-Australian co-production develops its own “original” mythology. It is all very ridiculous, but it is still good clean fun to head into the ancient lair with producer Li Bingbing in Kimble Rendall’s 7 Guardians of the Tomb (trailer here), which opens this Friday in Los Angeles.

As an expert in poisonous venoms, Dr. Jia Lee could be quite useful on this outing, but she also has a personal stake. It is her adventurer brother Luke who is missing. He had been searching for a fabled emperor’s tomb that supposedly holds his alchemist’s secret rejuvenating elixir or some such thing. Apparently, his potion worked, he just got tired of his boss, or so we can glean from confusing costumed flashbacks.

Regardless, the expedition funded by cosmetics-pharma tycoon Mason Kitteridge, an old family friend of the Lees and Luke’s boss, is about to get chased underground by a Biblically-sized sandstorm. The good new is Luke’s GPS is still faintly transmitting. The bad news is millions of highly organized killer spiders stand between Dr. Jia’s ragtag group and her brother.

Guardians (the whole “7” business is obviously just a ploy to get it listed highly in VOD menus) aims to please during its economical eighty-three minute running time, offering up plenty of booby traps, ancient clues, and creepy-crawly arachnids. Li is a highly credible action lead—arguably more so than Kellan Lutz acting petulant as the boorish search-and-rescue expert, Jack Ridley. Stef Dawson, Jason Chong, and Shane Jacobson add some color and seasoning as the expedition’s communications specialist, archeologist, and blokey comic relief, respectively. However, the real MVP is Kelsey Grammer, who definitely came to play, which means he chews the scenery with a vengeance as arrogant old Kitteridge.

The tomb trappings are decent and the spider effects are good enough to freak out an arachnophobe. The backstory really makes no sense whatsoever and the rest of the story isn’t exactly rigorously logical either. It’s not Raiders of the Lost Ark (neither was the last Indiana Jones movie, for that matter), but it is enjoyable to see Li take the lead and Grammer do his villainous thing. Despite his extensive sitcom work, he really has a talent for playing bad guys. As a guilty pleasure, 7 Guardians of the Tomb is a perfect hangover VOD movie, so be advised when it opens this Friday (2/23) in LA at the Laemmle Music Hall and also releases through the On Demand platform.