It
is a term often used to dismissively to discredit the 1980s and its
preoccupation with supposedly apocryphal satanic crimes. However, the victims
of Chicago’s “Ripper Crew,” Richard Ramirez, the Matamoros cult-cartel might
argue there were legitimate reasons to panic, if they could. Of course, horror
movies exploited those fears, because that is what horror movies are supposed
to do. Frankly, it is enjoyably nostalgic to return to the mills of satanic
horror, even when it has an unsubtle layer of class warfare smothered on top of
it. Baphomet is coming, so look busy when Chelsea Stardust’s Satanic Panic opens today in theaters.
Samantha
Craft has had a hard time of life, but things are about to get worse. On her
first day of work delivering pizzas, Craft makes a run to the tony, McMansion
side of town, where the creepy guy at the door stiffs her on the tip. Needing
gas money for her return trip, she ventures inside to plead her cause, but
finds herself in the middle of a coven preparing a sinister ritual. They
immediately peg her as a virgin, which puts her in a world of hurt.
As
the cult-leader Danica Ross’s cynical husband explains, they are both slated
for sacrificial roles, but hers will be far worse, due to her status. She is
not inclined to give much credence to the vaping Samuel, but she is still
sufficiently motivated to make an escape attempt. Inconveniently, the entire
well-heeled neighborhood is part of the cult, but at least she saves the snarky
Ross daughter from a gruesome death. Judi Ross had been groomed to serve as the
virgin sacrifice, but when she discovered her mother’s true intentions, she
took preventative measures, so to speak.
So,
there is a reason the rich get richer and Church Lady knew it all along. The
class envy would really get tired quickly were it not for the ultra-ironic
attitude, very much in the Scream tradition.
Without question, Ruby Modine is the film’s MVP scoring the biggest laughs and
super-charging the energy level as Judi Ross. Honestly, she is so good, she
completely upstages Hayley Griffith as the shy and neurotic Craft, somewhat
unbalancing the film.
Rebecca
Romijn whole-heartedly chews the scenery as Danica Ross, but Modine still
outshines her. Arden Myrin also gets impressively unhinged as Gypsy Neumieir,
Ross’s bitter rival within the cult, whereas Jerry O’Connell shrewdly dials it
down as the profoundly jaundiced Samuel Ross.
So,
there is not a lot of subtlety here, but the more ruckus and caustic the humor
gets, the better it works. Screenwriter Grady Hendrix (whom we know from NYAFF),
who co-wrote the story with Ted Geoghegan (whom everybody knows and likes, as
the director of We are Still Here and the publicity guru for Fantasia)
set out to be provocative and class-conscious, but they really do a good job
satirizing the self-help movement’s nutty self-actualizing double-talk.
Recommended for horror fans in the mood for some profane humor, Satanic
Panic opens today (9/6) in New York, at the IFC Center.
